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To think that I'll never actually lose weight

(31 Posts)
Foolytoo Wed 24-May-17 12:27:48

Around three years ago I started gaining weight it was after a bad illness and I think that may have been what started it off. I have gained 4 stone and am now have gained 6 stone in total ( maybe more )

I am so sick of thinking and talking about losing weight. Very depressed about the fact that I walked to work today in a black wooly jumper despite the heat. Why have I done this to myself, why can't I just lose weight ?!
Another summer wearing scarves and jumpers to cover myself.
I wear leggings all the time as jeans are too uncomfortable I am so unhappy and I have tried so many times to lose weight and I am just a joke. I feel so stupid keep talking about losing weight, trying and then giving up.
If it was drugs or alcohol I would think that id have a very serious addiction.
Just wish I'd sort my self out feeling very shit and disgusting today.

Any tips that will actually give me the motivation to do something?!? What was other people's turning point ?

FairyDogMother11 Wed 24-May-17 12:32:37

I've been where you are. For me I got on the scales one day and decided I never wanted to see that number again. The thing that helped me, is someone said to me that if you want to do it you need to do it because you love yourself, not because you hate your body flowers

ASDismynormality Wed 24-May-17 12:34:52

I understand how you feel. Yet another summer where I don't feel comfortable enough to wear summer clothes.

My turning point was feeling really unwell. I had an upset stomach for weeks, blood tests showed pre-diabetes and liver disease. I looked into diabetic diets and found low carb high fat. This was in January, I have lost just over 4 stone but have another 6or so to go. I really recommend the low carb bootcamp www.mumsnet.com/Talk/low_carb_bootcamp/2935593-Week-1-Pre-Summer-Low-Carb-Bootcamp-Off-we-go that's on here.

ThePinkOcelot Wed 24-May-17 12:42:35

I need to lose 1.5 stone and I'm hating this hot weather. This may sound daft, but wear the jeans. The more uncomfortable the better. I find if I'm in comfy clothing, it doesn't feel like I need to lose weight. I'm also forcing myself to go out running. I actually like it when I'm out. Good luck.

Kittencatkins123 Wed 24-May-17 12:43:21

Could you book yourself on a detoxing diet holiday with some exercise? You can lose a good bit of weight quite quickly and that can be motivating to keep going. (Though they can be expensive). Or what diets have you tried? Could you join a gym? Or just go for nice evening walks? You need to change both diet and exercise - go low carb and try to cut out sugar/processed foods.
Maybe this post will be the beginning! There are threads for weight loss too.

araiwa Wed 24-May-17 12:46:30

you keep talking about losing weight, trying and then giving up.

that's why youre not losing weight

use this thread as motivation, you now have in writing how miserable this makes you feel. so keep going with increased exercise and a lower calorie intake. bump this thread weekly/ monthly or whatever with what you have achieved recently- ran 5k, lost 1kg etc and youll be on a good path and plenty people here will support you

juneau Wed 24-May-17 12:53:02

1) If you are convinced you're going to fail before you even start then I can't help feeling that you will continue to do so until you change your mindset. You CAN lose weight! Of course you can. But it WILL be hard, you WILL have to make some serious changes and you WILL have to stick to them for good. A crash diet, WW or anything fails eventually if you go back to your old habits.

2) You probably know how to lose weight. Most of us know, by the time we get to adulthood, what sort of plan works for us, whether it's low carb/high fat, 5:2, WW, SW or another class that you have to turn up to every week and get weighed, or something else.

For me, it's cutting out sugar, booze and getting active. I can have an occasional treat, but 90% of the time I have to be 'on the wagon'. I accept that it's the only way I can look the way to I want to. And for most of us, that's the case. You can't just eat what you want all the time and sit around and still look good - not unless you're young and have a super-fast metabolism OR you're one of those rare, lucky people, but most of us aren't.

You just need self-belief, a lot of self-love (because you should treasure your body and do what is good for it - including your heart, liver, etc on the inside), and a large dose of willpower!

DontFundHate Wed 24-May-17 12:54:19

Slimming world

It's such a positive support network, I've never looked back

goingonabearhunt1 Wed 24-May-17 12:56:14

I agree with a pp who said love yourself, don't hate your body.

I really believe you can make changes with a mindset of improving your life rather than being negative because that just feeds the dieting/giving up cycle.

Things that helped for me were:

-Reducing carbs (some people go low carb but I've found even giving up bread and pasta made a difference, I eat them rarely now and when I have rice or whatever I have small amounts and my plate is mainly veg)
-Getting really into cooking and meal planning; I've gotten really interested in cooking things healthier ways and planning my meals and work lunches and I've found I've been eating much better and actually enjoying it.
-Sleep plenty if you can (easier not to binge the next day then)
-Get some kind of exercise routine that you enjoy; I'm not one for team sports or gyms but I swim, do yoga and am in the process of trying various exercise classes to see which I enjoy the most. It makes you feel fitter too which makes you feel more positive and just generally more healthy I think.
-Log what you eat, especially when you start. I use MFP and I really had no idea how many calories I was consuming without realising so that prompted me to make some changes.

Not sure if any of that helps; it's just what has worked for me.

juneau Wed 24-May-17 12:56:58

One other thing - get a step counter and aim for at least 10,000 steps a day. If you do that every day it's a good start to getting more active and it's pretty easy to fit in, even if you have a busy life.

Magicpaintbrush Wed 24-May-17 12:57:18

Do you have any particular food cravings or habits that you feel are contributing to the weight staying on?

I agree with what one of the other posters said about low carb/high fat might work for you? It would be a case of swapping bread/pasta etc for other things, so instead of toast for breakfast you could have eggs and bacon with grilled mushrooms/tomato which is a much nicer breakfast anyway. Instead of a sandwich for lunch have a salad with lots of really nice stuff in it like avocados, chicken, cheese etc A bowl of strawberries and cream instead of a biscuit etc these are just examples.

I had a lightbulb moment this year when I realised even just swapping sliced bread for wraps was helping me to lose weight - and they were smoked salmon, avocado and salad wraps a lot of the time, really yum, I never felt like I was missing out. And avoiding pasta has also helped - plenty of other dinners available instead. I reduced the amount of potatoes and rice to a smaller portion but didn't cut them right out.

Greenteandchives Wed 24-May-17 12:57:38

Agree with Dont. Slimming World, and follow it to the letter. It won't fail you. I don't have a lot to lose but it is going at a rate of 1lb a week. And such nice, supportive people.

Hellohellohowareyou Wed 24-May-17 12:57:46

OP your post has rung so true for me as I'm exactly the same. Have/had least four stone to lose and I'm down by 13lbs so far by doing slimming world, I keep looking at the positives and the fact I'm nearly a quarter of the way there!

But in reality I find it so so hard. I work full time with 2 DC under 5 so that obviously takes up a lot of my time. I know what I should be eating it's just a case of being prepared which I do struggle with. I have joined a couch to 5k programme which even though I only started last week I already love! Is there anything like that you can join locally?

usershitloadofnumbers Wed 24-May-17 12:59:06

you don't need to wear a jumper and be uncomfortable for a start. You would be more comfortable in something like this

Then you have to be realistic. Your weight is what it is, it will take time to lose it, you won't be a size 10 by the summer.

You need a proper plan, maybe join a group like slimming world etc.
You need to make a weekly food plan, to be in charge of the amount of calories you take a day. Don't remove your favourite food, don't starve, it doesn't work. Drink lots and lots of water.

Gentle exercise will help (but at best that's 20% of your weight loss, if that).

Set yourself a goal: lose 2lb in 2 weeks for example
If your house only has the right food and the right amount of it, it is easier, no midnight binge!

A photo of you in a bikini can be a good start (private photo obviously!)

Magicpaintbrush Wed 24-May-17 13:01:05

I nearly forgot but there was an interesting programme on bbc iplayer recently (may still be on there - Dr Michael Moseley) which showed there is a link between sleep and obesity. If I remember correctly was something like the less sleep you get the more calories your body absorbs from your food, so you could eat the exact same thing on two different days but on the day where you've slept well you will absorb less calories from the meal than if you had slept badly! Apparently people also crave more stodgy sweet foods when they are tired. Pretty interesting stuff.

GypsieRoseLee Wed 24-May-17 13:08:39

I feel the same way. I'm 5 ft 1 but cannot seem to get below ten stone 12. I try really hard for a few days and lose a couple of pounds then I cave in and stuff myself with crisps, chocolate, rich pasta meals etc. I heard that when you eat certain foods it stimulates the pleasure part of your brain so you get a buzz just as you would if you took drugs like cocaine. I know I'm addicted to food and so wanted to be slim for the summer sad

MaybeNextWeek Wed 24-May-17 13:24:38

The thing with dieting is you have to be patient, I have lost 2 stone in 4 months but for the first month or so hardly anything shifted at all despite me eating a good 500 calories at least less a day. Its as if with some people the body takes a while to start adjusting.
So eat less, but don't weight yourself for a month then you wont be demoralised.

Its tough, of course its downward spiral of having no confidence, clothes are too tight then eating to comfort, then self loathing etc

Just aim for 1500 kcal a day, for me protein is the thing to help me stay fuller longer. poached eggs on toast keep me going hours. Also, I have a sweet tooth and crave chocolate on an evening. I started having sugar free sweets, which while of course not healthy they do keep my cravings at bay. Good luck. You can do it.

Flucker Wed 24-May-17 13:39:56

To start losing weight, your head needs to be in the right place. If it's not then it won't happen. You will just wake up one morning and the motivation is there. Quite often it just appears from nowhere.

Punishing yourself isn't the answer. All that will do is make you more miserable than you already are.

Take it in small steps for now - make some changes in your diet and keep an eye on your step count. Get off the bus/tube/tram a stop early and walk the rest of the way. If you're at the supermarket, park in the furthest corner possible. Ditch one or two dizzy drinks or tea/coffee a day and switch to water. Yes you'll be forever going for a wee but it will pass.

If you're eating the kids leftovers after their meals, when they've finished, dump them straight in the bin.

You CAN do it. No matter how badly you want to do it, if your head isn't in the right place it won't happen. I use myfitnesspal - it's free and is brilliant.

Good luck OP smile

ooodile Wed 24-May-17 13:52:55

If you've got a few stone to lose, the weight will come off quite quickly at first.

Why not step on the scales and see if you can set a target for a week away, e.g. you're 15st 3, so see if you can get to 15st by this time next week?

It's an immense mental block if you think "I've got 5 stones to lose!" but if you take baby steps you'll see it's achievable, and you'll feel quite pleased your weight is moving in the right direction.

Honestly, if you can get yourself into the right mindset it's a marvellous thing to lose even a small amount of weight. You'll begin to feel and look better quickly. As your clothes start to loosen and you feel like you're doing something it will spur you on to more.

StringTheoryBazinga Wed 24-May-17 13:59:17

I hear you, believe me, I do.
I have more to lose than you and am absolutely sick to the back teeth of fucking diets.
I hate them, just the mention of doing one or restricting any food group etc has me binge eating in a panic induced "last meal"

I can't promise you a magical fix or give you the best diet plan but I can recommend that you read this book

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00B9JKNBC/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495630426&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=how+to+have+your+cake+and+your+skinny+jeans+too&tag=mumsnetforum-21

After you've read it, the whole eating thing makes sense again (and no, it isn't a diet at all in any way, shape or form)

I'm currently reading a book called intuitive eating as a follow on because I was so bloody amazed by the ideas and, quite frankly, amazingly relatable things discussed in the book above.

Best of luck and I hope that book speaks to you as much as it did me!

sugarbeep9 Wed 24-May-17 14:01:31

don't give up on yourself. approach it from a place of love and kindness rather than punishment, shame or guilt.

have supportive people around you.

Babyroobs Wed 24-May-17 14:35:58

I'm in the same situation op, you are not alone. I am possibly 7 or 8 stone overweight and miserable. I hate the summer, chaffing, sweaty and uncomfortable, never being able to fully enjoy summer holidays abroad because I'm so self conscious about the way I look, feet hurting all the time and back ache from carrying so much weight around. I lead a busy life, 2 jobs ( one shift work), 4 kids a dog and it's so easy just to grab the wrong things to eat. I totally agree with the poster that says sleep is linked to cravings. I do quite a few nightshifts and for days after will crave carbs/ sugary foods as I'm so tired and my body needs energy.
The only thing that has ever really worked for me is slimming world which I'm going to try soon.

HiggeldyPiggeldy Wed 24-May-17 18:44:17

I have a lot to loose as well, last year I started doing the 5:2 and was finding that worked really well for me, I fell off track when my dad was ill and have not managed to get back into it yet, but I will.

Foolytoo Wed 24-May-17 19:24:55

Oh my you are all so lovely ❤

I do 10,000+ steps every day from my work. But I have been now tracking this and becoming aware of it. Looking into swimming or maybe an extra walk on an evening.

I did SW at the beginning of the year and just found it wasnt for me, loved the idea of a group every week but I was eating foods I would never nornally and made me feel ugh. I also gained 1 week lost the next and so on despite following it 100%.

I read your replies on my lunch break and went and got myself a bottle of water and have already drank more than I normally would. The thing is im not daft I know what I need to do I know how to cook I enjoy cooking, homemade healthy food, I even went totally plant based at one point it's like I just don't care anymore.
I'm going for a food shop tomorrow and will do some batch cooking to get myself going.

I have only ever lost a big amount of weight once I used to be about 2-3 stone over weight and once I moved out of the family home and got the excitement of going out with friends at uni I would forget meals and food just didn't become my biggest enjoyment anymore and the weight fell off me. I kept it off for 2 years and it slowly crept on again especially after moving in with my partner.
I kept thinking I had it under control and that I could lose it whenever I wanted but think I've been in denial for a bit too long now.
Going to also look at some nice work tunics ( today was unbearable. The aircon at work is broken and my head is killing me from.the heat )

I'm glad I'm not the only one that struggles everyone makes it look so easy!

Going to set myself little goals 2lbs in two weeks and 3 litres of water per day.

Honestly thank you so much everyone xx

LadyLoveYourWhat Wed 24-May-17 23:54:45

Download MyFitnessPal (or just use the website), plug in your measurements and set it to lose a pound a week. Eat whatever you like within your calorie goal and you will lose weight. Be honest, log everything, weigh your food if you possibly can, it is very easy to underestimate. It will seem weird at first, but becomes second nature. The recipe builder is really good if you are into cooking. You can link lots of step counter apps in and earn extra calories for more steps. Take it slow and steady and you will get there! It took me 6 months-ish to lose three stone and I've kept it off for a year now. For me it was all about getting my portion size back under control and cutting down on snacks.

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