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To think he must be on chatsites

(82 Posts)
user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:07:02

I have been in a long distance relationship with him for over a year.
He say he loves me misses etc.
In the early days of our relationship he was still on the chatsite he met me on and I created fake id and he flirted a bit with me.
We did seem to get closer as our relationship went on and he has been coming every weekend to see me and he texts and video calls me in the week.
He promised some time ago that he would stop going on the chatsite and I didn't see his profile on there again although I am aware he could have changed his id.
The other day we was searching for a place on his phone and I noticed that a couple of chatsites came up on his phone.
I questioned him and he said he isn't on chatsites no need because he has me.
He said the only reason they where in his search history is because his boss was asking where he had met me and he was showing him links.
But if that's the case why was he not just showing him the one he met me on.
What you think mumsnetters.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth Wed 24-May-17 09:11:30

I think he still uses chat sites. But then again, it sounds like you do too.
You flirted with him with a fake ID, and also said that you "didn't see his profile on there again", so you must have been there yourself.
It's not necessarily a bad thing; perhaps he just enjoys chatting, just as people enjoy being part of discussions on MN

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:17:01

Yes was deliberately on there looking for him

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 09:23:36

I didn't see his profile on there again although I am aware he could have changed his id.
I created a fake ID
was deliberately on there looking for him

So you created a fake Id on a chat site? Why did you need a fake ID?
Relationship started with you lying to him.
Moved on and you don't trust him.
And you're logging in to chat sites to look for him?

There's is no trust in this relationship, you lied at the start, you worry he's lying now. What's the point?.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:29:34

what the relationship had already started

BitOutOfPractice Wed 24-May-17 09:31:37

How did she lie at the beginning? I'm confused.

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 09:35:33

So you met him on a chat site, got together and then created a fake ID to catch him out?

End it now. There is now use carryinon, all you'll donis drive yourself nuts, it won't stop him doing whatever he is doing.

AyeAmarok Wed 24-May-17 09:37:57

Not a good relationship. No trust there. Best to finish it and go your separate ways.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:42:55

I have grown to really love him that's my problem now

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:44:06

What the hell should I do.
Without going into detail I have sacrificed a lot for him and done so much for him.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:44:52

Yes I may be a fool I know.
Please go easy on me

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 09:45:26

There can't be love without trust.

You haven't trusted him from the start, why would u create fake IDs if you trusted him? You're only a year in, this should be the butterflies and rose petal era, not angst, checking up, anxiety and distrust.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:46:11

He always talks nicely about me says I am great lady etc.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:47:01

I cant give him up without something solid

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 09:48:43


Words are meaningless. Actions prove truth.

You say you sacrificed and did loads? What's he done?
Made a few token gestures,
"I love you, you're the best lady I've ever known, i can see us growing old together, you mean so much to me"
All the time he's also made you doubt him, question yourself, distrust him, send your self crazy?
That's not love.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:48:49

Do you understand what I mean I cant give him up without having soldi evidence that he is up to anything.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:50:55

God smeaton I don't know.
I just like him so much but he hasn't done that much for me.
But I have always believed he loves me and that's all I was bothered about.

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 09:52:11

Well only you can decide what to do.
If he's still on chat sites, he might be meeting anyone from them when you're not sound. He could be in a long distant relationship with two or three women the same.

There is no way r anyone here to tell you he is or isn't. Findinli is to them on his phone would be enough for me, especially a cock and bull story about showinhisd boss. hmm

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:52:15

I have always respected him for taking the time to travel over a hundred miles to see me on Saturday after 6 long hard days at work.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:53:19

What if he is just chilling and talking but not meeting

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 09:54:19

I don't believe he would have time to meet anyone he works 6 days.

Smeaton Wed 24-May-17 10:01:04

You mean he says he works 6 days.
You don't live with him, he's 100 miles away, how do you know when he does and doesn't work?

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 10:04:47

Well obviously I can be 100%certain but he has called before now from his workplace and he texts me roughly at times he is on breaks.

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 10:05:26

that should say I cant be 100% certain

user1495612673 Wed 24-May-17 10:06:53

how do I make sure this guy is sincere about me

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