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Aibu to think it's not possible for my dh to have crushed me...

(91 Posts)
humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:07:56

My dh and I were together last night and I felt like I got um crushed under him . I couldn't breather had pain in my ribs and tummy.
I was ok after a few minutes but felt faint and shaky for a while. I thought I might be a panic attack of some kind.

This morning my ribs and tummy are still hurting and the worrier side of me is saying that I have some kind of "sex crush" injury.

The rational part of me says dear god woman your fine you can't be crushed having sex.

Aibu to think that the pain must be a coincidence ?- you can't actually get crush injuries from just having sex bearing in mind my husband isn't massive.

For obvious reasons I don't really want to discuss this with people in real life especially dh!

Westray Wed 24-May-17 07:14:07

Why did yo allow this to happen?

Did you alert him to your discomfort?

fluffygreenmonsterhoody Wed 24-May-17 07:15:18

'Allow' this to happen?!

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:16:25

West- I did tell him after a while and we stopped.

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:16:51

As I say I thought it was some kind of panic so I tried to ignore it for a while!

Pinkheart5917 Wed 24-May-17 07:22:12

So once you told him he stopped, Why on Earth didn't you tell him sooner?

If your rib pain is really painful it is of course possible you've actually hurt yourself

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:23:44

Pink I just thought I was being panicky and I didn't was to cause any bad feelings about it.

BarnsligRav Wed 24-May-17 07:24:47

Why on earth would it not be possible? He was on top of you and you were in pain, surely the logical explanation for that is that it was because he was on top of you? Am I missing something?

GreenHairDontCare Wed 24-May-17 07:26:00

So you were feeling panicky and in pain during sex and didn't feel able to ask your dh to stop straight away?

Why? I mean, is this just your issue (boundaries) or were you concerned that your husband might be angry with you/might not stop anyway?

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:26:51

I just thought it was more likely due to a pulled muscle or something he's not very heavy . I don't think I have worded this whole thing well sorry.

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:27:26

Green he wouldn't be angry with me but I would feel bad about it.

Pinkheart5917 Wed 24-May-17 07:27:34

You do need to discuss with him, if you can have sex talking about this should be easy

If you don't mention it he won't know next time you have sex and you may feel crushed again

Plenty of other positions to try so your not crushed

LineysRun Wed 24-May-17 07:27:45

And you told him you were in pain, and you stopped having sex. But now you can't tell him that that it still hurts? Why not?

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:29:31

Liney - I don't know I just feel guilty about it.
So I mean will this just get better in a few hours if it is related to that?

Westray Wed 24-May-17 07:30:42

OP why would you feel bad about it?

Comfort during sex is important, OH and I have no qualms about asking each other to move a leg, or point out my hair has been trapped., or simply that either of us need to pause for a while or have some water.
It's part of being intimate.

CaptainBrickbeard Wed 24-May-17 07:31:46

Again, if you thought you pulled a muscle then why would saying so cause any bad feeling? Presumably he wouldn't want to hurt you so he'd want to know if that was happening so he could stop? It does sound extremely worrying from what you have said that you didn't feel able to say you were in pain and panicking.

You could call 111 for medical advice or take painkillers and see how you get on or see a doctor, but I think you need to address why you felt you couldn't speak up at the time.

Westray Wed 24-May-17 07:32:12

OP if you are still sore I would get checked out.

My father broke one of my mother's ribs by on overly enthusiastic bear hug- all things are possible.

GreenHairDontCare Wed 24-May-17 07:33:39

Why on earth would you feel guilty?

Dh has leaned on my hair before, it hurts, so I go 'oof, gettof' and he moves. Similarly if I get cramp or it's just uncomfortable.

Would you be embarrassed and guilty if this had happened outside of sex? Say if you were laying on the sofa together and it was uncomfortable, would you tell him to move?

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:34:14

Captain I don't think he would want to hurt me . I just felt bad interrupting.
I think I have handled both him and explaining here badly!

Kokusai Wed 24-May-17 07:34:43

How strange.

If you can't feel comfortable enough to say "OW DH" whilst in pain you shouldn't really be having sex as you aren't able to assert even the most basic of boundaries.

Iamastonished Wed 24-May-17 07:35:39

What sort of relationship do you have that you can't discuss it with him?

Westray Wed 24-May-17 07:35:45

I just felt bad interrupting.

But you shouldn't.

Your comfort is more important than anything else that's happening.

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:36:14

I thought I was having a panic attack which I have learned it's best to ignore . So i didn't say anything for a while.

humiliatinginjury Wed 24-May-17 07:36:45

I am I think we have a good relationship we have been together 16 years.

FrankensteinsSister Wed 24-May-17 07:39:33

Definitely could have been a panic, but obviously if it keeps hurting see the doc.
I have panic attacks and I understand those feelings can also arise from that, and cause physical sensations.

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