He is angry with me. We have reached a financial settlement and are at the stage where he has signed the agreement and sent it back to my solicitor. She emailed me to say that she had received it but I can't get hold of her to ask how long before ex gets his money. He is saying I told him he would have it by now (he signed the papers last week and I have to remortgage to pay him off.) The bank have agreed but it now has to go before a judge. He is saying he is going to be homeless as he's given notice on his flat and can't get another without the money from me.
He sent a couple of texts saying he will be homeless and it's my fault. I have ignored them because it's not my fault and I don't want to get into a text argument. FFS, he's 48 and thinks legal situations are resolved in a couple of days. He was there with me when the mediator explained the process, but now he claims I said he would get the money straight away. I think he has been asked to leave the flat anyway (probably pays rent late) and is relying on the money to get out of a hole, but it's not my fault his life is a fucking disaster.
He always has the dc on Monday nights and I use the time to work and go in very early on Tuesdays. I'm a teacher and rely on this time. When I got home he was here with the dc and had cooked for them, turning the kitchen into a complete shit hole. He was slumped in front of the tv with ds2, who hadn't changed. He asked if they could stay here tonight and I said I needed notice - I have no before school care for them arranged for the morning and have left materials at school to plan in the morning - so would fuck up tomorrow's lessons if I go in late - in fact I would miss the start of the school day by 45 mins.
He snapped 'fine,' and now he has gone with them. He was so morose and I feel so bad for them. I just wish I had kept them here with me. I have no reason to believe they are in danger or anything like that, but I just think his life is unravelling and he is in a terrible mood and I now feel so anxious about them.
He could have rung me earlier and told me he couldn't have them tonight - would have enabled me to plan a bit / contact the before school club etc. I feel I've let them down.
AIBU?
To think I shouldn't haave let the dc go off with ex tonight - made a mistake
theduchessstill · 22/05/2017 19:14
Can you just let him stay ah yours with them yonight? I think you need to get them back it doesn't sound like he's in a very safe space 
In what world is letting your miserable ex stay over because he's in a bad mood the right thing to do 
You couldn't OP, you have commitments and your dh needs to suck it up. I feel for your dc but he will reap what he sows with them later down the line.
I do think I will put a stop to him coming here once everything is settled between us. Tbh, I haven't wanted to rock the boat in case he held up the divorce or financial settlement, but once it's all done I'll have nothing I need from him anymore so won't have to appease him so much.
It just makes me so angry. He has paid not a penny towards the dc since he left (nearly three years ago) though he does have them 2 evenings a week and every other weekend, so saves me some childcare fees. But every penny of his (admittedly low) wages he keeps and he has still fucked up massively. Has debt all over the place and may have lost his home, which will affect the dc as they'll have to see less of him. Yet he has told me I'm probably happy at what 'my action' have caused 
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