To think a 5 year shouldn't be allowed so much freedom.

[yayayahey]

So we went to a kids party on the weekend and the birthday child and two of her friends (she was 5, other kids 6 and 5) were playing 5 minutes from the house on the sea wall.

You couldn't see them from the house and her Dad said "she spends hours at a time down there, it's great she can have the freedom."

I hate being that judgey parent but was so surprised I said "my God do you think that's safe?!" and had the two parents (very gently and nicely) lecturing me on how kids need freedom and I needed to loosen up when ds (3.5) got a little older.

A number of things could have happened to her. She could slip (good 10 foot drop) and smash her head, she call fall in the ocean and drown, or god forbid somebody could take her. It's a a very naice seaside town but still, it can happen anywhere.


I really wasn't being unreasonable in thinking a 5 year old shouldn't be playing out alone for hours at a time was I?! I know you can never eliminate all risk but 5 seems so young! Dh is so fucking laid back he was all "oh I don't know, each to their own." And now they all think I'm some weird, ott, helicopter Mum.

[Badbadbird]

Nope they sound like your run of the mill twattish parents. Heaven forbid something happens to their child who doesn't know any better.

[ShuttyTown]

YANBU. No way would I let my 5 year old out alone in our street never mind next to the sea, a 10ft drop and not in view of the house. The child's parents are playing with fire. Very irresponsible

[ballerinabelle]

YANBU.

A sea wall? FFS some people's stupidity is staggering

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

YANBU I like to see young kids play out but that sounds bloody dangerous

[alltouchedout]

No, a 5 year old should not be out of sight and contact for hours at a time, and certainly not in a location like that.

[yayayahey]

They're all hyper intelligent people with doctorates that have tenure at top universities so I was second guessing my plebeian self a little bit and wondering if I was too uptight!

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

My middle dc are 10+11 and we live at the beach.
They are allowed to get park but nowhere near the sea front!!

[Starduke]

YANBU. I don't panic when my 5 year old is out of sight in our local (closed) park (he and all his friends know not to leave the park) but I like knowing where he is and keeping an eye on him from a distance. No way would I go home and leave him and that's without taking into consideration a dangerous wall and the sea!

[Carolinethebrave]

YANBU, they are idiots.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

I have a 9 year old and a 7 year old. The older one has just started doing steps to indepence e.g. walking to post box, walk last bit to school after the main road. I would prob let her go to local shop or park if was closer. But no way would I include sea front in that.

[Mia1415]

YANBU. That's crazy (and I'm a fairly laid back parent!).

[Mumzypopz]

I often think super intelligent people lack common sense.

[MiniAlphaBravo]

Feel a bit sick of the thought of a 5 year old playing alone on a sea wall with a 10 foot drop. YANBU.

[toomuchtooold]

I might possibly be one of those irritating free range parents - I have the PhD, and even read a book about free range parenting, and I daringly went against the HVs advice and never put stairgates on my stairs and things like that - but FFS the idea of exposing them to risk is to allow them exposure to a little bit of hazard so that they can test themselves and learn how to risk assess before they ever meet any really dangerous situations. A sea wall, and a 5 year old? I mean, scabby knees come as standard at this age because they're learning to dance and jump and all that sort of stuff. What's to stop her just falling into the sea?

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

They probably do think kids are helicopter parented these days and this is a reaction to that. But they've gone too far i think. Did they grow up by sea. Perhaps they are not aware just how dangerous it can be.

[yayayahey]

Mumz that's what dh says.

I'm showing him this thread to try to convince him this isn't great parenting and we don't need to loosen up. He hasn't said that but I know he's kind of thinking it.

Another incidence when we were there was their daughter going down a steep road on her scooter coming out at a t junction on a busyish road and when I shrieked as she was going really fast they all laughed and said she was great at stopping.

They're lovely people but I find it really bloody stressful being around them!

Last time we visited I told ds he wasn't allowed to go and stroke a dog in the park without the owner saying it was ok and they all thought that was over protective.

[ArseyTussle]

We live by the sea, and DD (6) goes to play on the beach with her friends (all of whom are older than her). If she wants to go in the water I go with them, otherwise it's just the tribe of kids.

A sea wall and going alone would rule it out for me.

[ToastDemon]

I grew up in Africa and find UK parents overly risk averse but that sounds crazy to me. Far too young.

[Firesuit]

I think the main danger of letting a five-year old play unsupervised is that someone will call social services...

[BlurryFace]

WTF, alone in the back garden sure, playing in the street while mum/dad watches, sure.

I remember being that age and scaling all manner of rocks on the beach in search of wildlife to harass and walking along the sea wall with a big drop while with my parents, but never alone.

[yayayahey]

I think this is definitely a reaction to helicopter parenting.

I think I'm pretty 'free range' myself and realise that the percentage of risk is something each parent individually weighs up and makes a choice in and try not to judge but this has stuck in my head and makes me feel so uneasy.

[Seniorcitizen1]

Having a doctorate does not make you highly intelligent - I have one but not highly intelligent. This is a common sense issue - they clearly have none

[SleepFreeZone]

This is one of those scenarios where either the child grows up and bores everyone to tears about her amazing liberal childhood by the sea. Or else the child has a terrible accident and the parents are lambasted for being feckless. It really could go either way.

[stitchglitched]

No they sound bloody stupid. I had a friend who was similar, 'laid back' to the point of being neglectful whilst having a superior attitude and looking down on my apparent overprotectiveness. She ended up with SS involvement and I stopped hanging around with her as her complete disinterest in her kids safety was too stressful.