I'm a long time lurker on this forum but always been too afraid to post.
Recently my partner's 12 year old son has come to live with us. He lived with his maternal grandparents in the US as my partner and his gf at the time were so young when he was born.
There was peace for around a month or so as we all tried to adjust especially dss to a new country, school etc but for the past few months my partner and dss have been at each others throats. He is a sweet child but also manages to get into trouble far too often - skipping school, swearing, trying a cigarette and now I'm worried he's seeing a much older teen/man (Basically I saw them kiss) and I'm not sure whether to tackle this myself or tell my partner.
My partner is really taking dss's behaviour to heart. He told me dss is manipulative, vacuous and every interaction they have ends with an argument. So far we've tried grounding, taking away personal belongings and my partner thinks he's not too old to get a smack. I feel if I tell him what I saw he may go through with it. I really don't want it to get that far but my partner doesn't really listen to my advice wrt to dss because dss is his son. None of us have any parenting experience and we are struggling, I feel we'd do so much better if we worked together on this. I'm thinking of confronting dss by myself as I think I'd get the truth from him and then know what next steps to take (of course involving my partner then).
Sorry for the essay. What do you think?
AIBU?
To try to parent my stepson?
AfraidOfMyShadow · 21/05/2017 22:18
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