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to feel like changing my name back?

(15 Posts)
NameChangeWoes Sun 21-May-17 21:43:49

My birth name is a name that sounds incredibly old-fashioned (and not in a lovely classic way), and my last name honestly sounds quite vulgar.

Since I was 16/17, I've been using an alias when speaking to friends, and when I was 22, I decided to legally change my entire name (first/middle/last) to something a lot more palatable. I love my new name, and have integrated it into every aspect of my life for years. I'm also finally at the stage where I can shake a stranger's hand and say my name/hand out my name card without feeling even the least bit embarrassed.

It's just that very recently, my dad and I have been reconnecting properly, and I feel guilty. He understands why I did what I did and doesn't completely like it (my name means something to him) but he accepts that the decision was mine to make. In lieu with that, I'm also starting to feel like I've been somewhat of an imposter - in the sense that I feel like I've been playing in leagues above my station.

AIBU and ridiculous to contemplate changing it back? Has anyone ever changed their name and felt "weird" about it years later? Is this temporary?

Demesne Sun 21-May-17 21:49:31

No, but I think your feelings are normal - reconnecting and all that - but I don't think that's reason enough to go back to a name you hate. You've been your new name for years. It's you, now. You're not an imposter and not at all 'above your station' (this sort of thinking, in our culture, just needs to die. It's such an awful concept.)

Tapandgo Sun 21-May-17 21:52:05

Keep the name you are comfortable with. You are the one using it. Your fathers' name is still on your birth certificate.
I'd be wary about changing it back as it can lead to complications when filling out job forms etc.
Of course - your name, your decision

theymademejoin Sun 21-May-17 21:56:43

I wouldn't see any reason to change it back. Lots of people have different names to the one they were given.

My dh is generally known by a diminutive of his name. His family are the only ones who use the original version. Loads of woman change their surname when they marry.

I'm also madly curious as to what your original name was. I'm guessing Nora Hoare.

FreeSpiritJen Sun 21-May-17 22:00:36


I am dying to know what it was now too.

I would leave it if I were you OP. You were embarrassed enough to alter it.

RagingCunt Sun 21-May-17 22:02:37

Ena Tartt?

Fruitcorner123 Sun 21-May-17 22:02:44

If your dad is hurt could you allow him to call you by your old name without actually changing it?

TheHiphopopotamus Sun 21-May-17 22:07:22

Edith Fucksticks?! Is that you?

Is there any way you can incorporate your old name into your new one without it being the main name IYSWIM? For example, I know someone who goes by their nickname so changed his name by deed poll to Realname Nickname Lastname (*not actual names*, obviously)

Personally though I would leave it.

NameChangeWoes Sun 21-May-17 22:12:31

Yeah I still use my old name when with family members. I've never really thought about it before but the "disconnect" is what's bugging me. Feels like I'm turning my back on my entire childhood years/people who knew me then which isn't my intention at all.

And hah I'm not going to reveal it for obvious reasons. Let's just say my first name lies in the same vein as Nancy/Gertrude/Olga (no offence to anyone with those names you might be able to pull it off better than I can!), and my last name was a foreign name that sounds and looks like an expletive.

TroysMammy Sun 21-May-17 22:17:29

Was your name Helga Fuchs?

Dawndonnaagain Sun 21-May-17 22:17:59

You're Gladys Fuchs, aren't you!

Seriously, go with what you're comfortable with. I have a dd who wants to change her first name when we move. I'm fine with it, it's what she feels comfortable with that's important.

honeylulu Sun 21-May-17 22:24:07

I'm going to guess ... Norma Stitz.

Reow Sun 21-May-17 22:25:35

I like Nora and Nancy!

Italiangreyhound Sun 21-May-17 22:30:17

I agree with Demesne.

Your new name is who you want to be know as. But you are all your experiences etc to date.

You said your dad and you havr been reconnecting properly. Do you think there is any sense that you feel you 'owe' him this? Either because he has started being nicer to you or you were forced to live in different places and now live nearer or something else?

If it is anything like this, please remember you do not owe anyone anything, except to enjoy your own life a d make it the best you can.

I married and changed my name. My sister changed her name by deed poll to her partner's name then married him and the family all use her childhood name, everyone else uses common abbreviation but legally she has a full name - think Peg, Marge, Margaret.

It's really up to the individual.

If you are happy with your name, keep it. It is yours!

RagingCunt Mon 22-May-17 00:43:12

Gertie Kuntz grin

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