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To be a bit miffed that my BF wants to use my bridesmaid dresses for her own wedding?

(94 Posts)
Stiffanky Sat 20-May-17 20:49:47

So my best friend is getting married next year and myself and another of her 3 bridesmaids has been round to her house today to do a bit of wedding planning. I had both of these girls as bridesmaids at my wedding nearly 4 years ago, plus my sister. Now my friend lives in her DP's large-ish house, he has a Porsche and another big car, his own business, and is generally reasonably comfortable financially.... which has left me baffled and slightly bemused with her asking me if they can use the same 3 bridesmaid dresses for her wedding as I had for mine in order to save money. So I'd wear my sister's dress, our mutual bridesmaid the same one she wore for mine and her other friend the one that the bride-to-be wore for mine. AIBU to be a bit put out about this? WWYD in this scenario? Acquiesce.... it's her day after all; or say no?

JumpingJellybeanz Sat 20-May-17 20:51:32

I think it's a lovely idea.

SoupDragon Sat 20-May-17 20:52:30

What does it matter?

StumpyScot92 Sat 20-May-17 20:52:31

Personally I don't think it's a bad idea, people spend a fortune on weddings for things that only get used once. She may have money but if it isn't something important to her she may not want to waste it, we all have different priorities.

But they're you're dresses and it's your choice at the end of the day too if you're sentimental over them.

TinselTwins Sat 20-May-17 20:53:23

I'ld LOVE it! Was so happy when 2 of my BMs wore their dresses to other events, means they really liked them and didn't just make the right noises

It's a massive compliment OP

Helloitsme88 Sat 20-May-17 20:53:23

Did you buy horrendous BM dresses the first time round? Is this revenge from the bridesmaid grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sat 20-May-17 20:53:33

Two threads on this??

Starlight2345 Sat 20-May-17 20:55:09

No issue for me..

She obviously liked the dresses. Weddings no matter how much money you have can be spent on lots of things

I would take it as a compliment and dispite the money no one up manship.

ButTheBearSnoredOn Sat 20-May-17 20:55:29

I think it's a great idea! Be flattered that she likes the dresses!
What use would they be otherwise?
Everyone who was at your wedding will know that you had them first if that matters

Lottie991 Sat 20-May-17 20:55:42

Maybe they are having money problems? Just because they look like they have it all doesn't mean they do, Could they just be in a lot of debt?
I would find it strange tbh

RoseAndRose Sat 20-May-17 20:56:38

The girls will probably have grown - you don't say what age first time round, but as 4 years have passed the chances of an 8yr old fitting a 4 yr old's dress, or 12 fitting 8, or 16 fitting 12 are seriously remote.

So it's likely to be a non-problem, ubpnless she has different occupants for the dresses in mind.

And even the, with different sashes etc they could look quite different. In which case I agree with PP that it's sensible to reuse.

BertrandRussell Sat 20-May-17 20:57:06

Brilliant idea. I hate waste.

Redglitter Sat 20-May-17 20:57:27

Why on earth would you say no? It's a compliment she wants to use them & makes sense they get another outing rather than lying in a wardrobe somewhere

I can't see what the problem is at all

BroomhildaVonShaft Sat 20-May-17 20:59:28

It's fine, very sensible. Bridesmaid dresses often don't get worn more than once so it's a resourceful thing to do.

khajiit13 Sat 20-May-17 21:05:47

I think it's a great idea too.

viques Sat 20-May-17 21:11:05

Rose, I think they are adult bridesmaids!

NellieFiveBellies Sat 20-May-17 21:12:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CormorantDevouringTime Sat 20-May-17 21:13:42

YABU, regardless of finances, avoiding waste is a good thing. I think she owes you a bottle of champagne though.

PeaFaceMcgee Sat 20-May-17 21:14:35

Fantastic idea. Hate wasting money.

PeaFaceMcgee Sat 20-May-17 21:15:21

Christening gowns get passed down, don't they? wink

Embolio Sat 20-May-17 21:15:25

No problem at all! Why on earth would you mind? Probably they cost a fortune so great, get wear out of them!

Also as literally no one will remember what yours were like outside of your wedding party, I bet no one realises they are even the same dresses.

GplanAddict Sat 20-May-17 21:15:42

Lovely idea, I would feel flattered!

TheCraicDealer Sat 20-May-17 21:17:41

I think it's odd on a few levels. The group shots of your weddings are going to look v similar (as will your flowers/decor which will likely match the dress colour). That might not be a big deal to some people but it would to me.

She's also assuming that the dresses (which by that stage will be five years old) will still fit everyone. That's quite a lot of pressure on people- "you have to loose the weight or I'll have to buy new dresses for all of you".

It's sort of implied in the U.K. at least that if you're a BM then you're bought and then get to keep the dress as a gift. It's not your dress any more- it's your sister's and she might not even have it now, or had it altered/shortened to wear again.

You can get very nice bridesmaid dresses from £35 or so on Etsy or ASOS. This might seem like a simple and cost effective solution for her, but imho If you want someone to wear something specific for your wedding you should source and pay for it yourself.

Trashcanoracle Sat 20-May-17 21:23:10

Again, massive compliment OP.
My friend tried on my wedding dress for size and ended up borrowing it for her wedding..was just lovely to see my special dress being worn again

RandomMess Sat 20-May-17 21:24:18

Would you look good in your sister's dress (if she still even has it)?

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