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To have called her a selfish cow?

(124 Posts)
Mrsknackered Sat 20-May-17 16:52:39

Little bit of a back story - we have a family a few doors down who drive me mental. The mum is very crass and has said some pretty offensive things.
I try and avoid her to the best of my ability but our 4 year olds are best friends (of course) so I put up with her for a couple hours a week so they can continue being friends.
Yesterday myself, my 2 DS's and my pregnant friend went to the park and cafe within the park - we bumped into neighbour in the park, she joined us.
4yo's playing nicely and my 5 month DS and her 1 year old were interacting, I noted her DD had a snotty nose but didn't think anything of it. She's met my friend before and knew she was pregnant etc.
I have just received a text from neighbour saying 'hi luv, kids have chickenpox rash today more are coming up by the minute' so I'm like 'oh no! Will have to let friend know. Hope they're okay, I'll keep an eye on mine' and then she's like 'yeah I took them to a chicken pox party a week and a bit ago but it's taken them ages to come up' and that was it. I'm fuming.
Why the hell did she not mention this before our children slobbered and climbed over each other? Before my pregnant friend held her DD?
I didn't reply because I was so cross and she sent another saying 'it'll be good for your kids to get it now' and I said 'no it's really inconvenient as DS1 has his primary school visit in less than 2 weeks and an audition for his hobby and DS2 has already been hospitalised three times in his 5 months with what should be little infections that his body can't fight. You selfish cow'
She's now rang me 3 times, I'm ignoring. The door will probably start knocking soon. I know I am probably being U but I really don't feel like I am!

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sat 20-May-17 16:56:13

She sounds hard of thinking. Probably has no idea what she's done wrong.

EZA15 Sat 20-May-17 16:56:33

I think you were well within your rights. I absolutely hate the idea of chicken pox parties. Has she started knocking yet?

BitchPeas Sat 20-May-17 16:59:02

She sounds thick as shit as well as selfish.

originalbiglymavis Sat 20-May-17 17:00:27

Hope you and your kids - and your friend - are all ok. Silly silly woman. Has she not common sense?

DoloresTheRunawayTrain Sat 20-May-17 17:00:44

Ignore her and send your pregnant friend a quick message.

RedDahlia Sat 20-May-17 17:02:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kalinkafoxtrot45 Sat 20-May-17 17:02:54

I'd be calling her worse than that. There is a point at which stupidity becomes malignant and she has reached it.

CherriesInTheSnow Sat 20-May-17 17:07:01


Assuming she must know your little baby has been hospitalised with infections? ?

Maybe forgivable as a stand alone event bit to be honest it does sound like you are (rightly so) looking for a reason to drop her as a friend. It's a tough situation to be in.

AmserGwin Sat 20-May-17 17:09:27

I think you need to spell it out to her, that it's dangerous for pregnant women to come into contact with chicken pox. She is obviously too thick to already know

runloganrun101 Sat 20-May-17 17:12:18

She sounds thick. Def tell your friend - it can be disasterous if caught pregnant but doctors might be able to intervene.

CoraPirbright Sat 20-May-17 17:17:02

You are not at all U. I would have also added "and you know how dangerous it can be in pregnancy - you have put my friend in danger". She is, indeed, a selfish cow.

Plunkette Sat 20-May-17 17:18:30

Oh dear. I hope your little ones and your friend aren't affected.

Chickenpox parties are terribly irresponsible but not everyone appears to be aware of how dangerous Chickenpox can be.

Threads about them come up on MN from time to time, there are lots of people who think it's just a mild childhood illness.

Hopefully she's ringing to apologise.

originalbiglymavis Sat 20-May-17 17:18:34

You missed out the words 'deliberately', 'willfully' or 'fuckwittedly'.

Lj8893 Sat 20-May-17 17:21:02

She sounds like a right tool and you are well within your rights to call her up on this!

Hopefully your friend has had chicken pox herself and so it won't be dangerous for her.

I hope your kids are ok if/when they come down with it.

Serialweightwatcher Sat 20-May-17 17:21:36

Stupid cow - it's bad enough when people unknowingly pass it on, but to know it could be a possibility and not say a word is so very wrong ... hope your littles ones and your friend will be okay. I'd be bloody fuming and have to say something flowers

ElphabaStrop Sat 20-May-17 17:23:10

What a horror. Irretrievably stupid. YANBU at all and I hope your DCs and friend are ok. flowers

becotide Sat 20-May-17 17:24:48

I would ignore her FOREVER

eurochick Sat 20-May-17 17:25:02

Yanbu. It's rubbish for you and your children (hopefully no more than that) but potentially very dangerous for your pregnant friend.

Mrsknackered Sat 20-May-17 17:25:44

So glad I am being agreed with, I am still so cross.
You're not gonna believe what she has just sent me.
'I don't know why you're so angry cos your kids could have got it from anywhere you let them touch the toys in the cafe yesterday'
I've messaged preggo friend, she's pretty laid back and has said she has had them before but is going to drop her MW a text.
I haven't replied to selfish neighbour.

And yes, she does know DS2 has been in hospital but she's one of those people who look right through you when you talk to them. In fact when he first developed sepsis and was in hospital at just 3 weeks old, she knew because DP told her and then she messaged me asking if I could vote for her baby in a cute contest I am just making myself more angry

Teardropexplodes Sat 20-May-17 17:29:18

It's very irresponsible and YANBU to be mad, but re your friend, most people have had it in childhood and are immune. Let her know, but don't panic. It's a danger if she catches them, but chances are she won't.

Teardropexplodes Sat 20-May-17 17:29:51

Ah x post

FreddieFlowerdew Sat 20-May-17 17:29:58

I understand your frustration but I would never call someone that. There are much better and more dignified ways to express how you feel.

Silencio Sat 20-May-17 17:30:43

Very inconsiderate. I really think I would be cross.

ClopySow Sat 20-May-17 17:31:30

On the plus side, you don't have to pretend to be her friend any more.

Do people really still have chicken pox parties? Idiots.

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