I started a new job and got on really well with an executive from another team. We would go for lunch together and a regular Saturday night drink with a few others but tended to stay together during the night. We talked about everything and became close friends. Eventually meeting up just the two of us outside of work.
She had a long term partner but they split 9 months ago. She dumped her as she had been unhappy for a while.
Just before that, I decided it was time to make it clear I was gay. So just quickly came out. I didn't make a big deal of it. Everyone was shocked as I don't look stereotypically lesbian so people always presumed I was straight.
Anyway, since I came out, my work friend has completely changed with me. She seems to have turned into a complete player letting me know all the women she finds attractive. Constantly telling me who she fancies and is interested in. All the dates she's been on and flirting outrageously. It's like she feels the need to show me she isn't interested in me romantically by expressing a ridiculous level of interest in other women. We've discussed many times how annoying it is when straight women think you're hitting on them so I hate that she's now doing just that and presuming I must like her just because I'm gay. We don't fancy each other so the best thing is to simply
Ignore it. If there are rumours I certainly wont let them bother me. I've never accused her of having an interest in me and I have never shown an interest in her.
I miss all our chats and fun times. In a way I wish I'd never came out now. She had turned into a great friend but is now just on a mission to avoid me 'getting the wrong idea'.
She's not fallen out with me as she's still friendly to me when I'm sat at my desk. But there's a difference between a co worker and a friend and I feel I've lost her as an actual friend.
She no longer messages outside of work/ meets up outside of work. She's rejected my suggestions to meet up outside of work and no longer sits and chats to me at our work parties.
She started dating someone 5 months ago and I thought that might make her normal again with me, but it's made no difference.
When I do chat to her she is so uncomfortable and sometimes a bit mean with what she says.
Finally I had enough and asked her if she was okay and she got really nasty and just said you're really annoying and flirty.
You would flirt with anything with a vag! You're embarrassing!
I'm really hurt by this comment as I'm not like that at all. I don't know why now I've come out as gay, this means she has to behave like a complete idiot. There's other gay women here she doesn't seem to have too much of an issue with.
I've tried to work out what is wrong but after that horrid comment I honestly don't think I will bother. She's changed the moment I came out and I don't think I even like who she is right now. I was planning to try and work things out and find out if I've done something to offend her. But AIBU to not even bother now?
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AIBU?
Lesbian friend making hurtful comments since I came out as Lesbian
25 replies
rhiain · 19/05/2017 23:19
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