DH going to bed early

[Whack]

AIBU?

Obviously it's Friday night, DH and I have both worked all week but normal office hours. We had dinner at home at 7ish then went to watch a film which he chose. I was in the mood to be romantic, he wasn't. He has just gone to bed saying he's tired. He doesn't have to to be up early tomorrow neither of us have any plans.

I just feel like what a rubbish night. I make dinner, we watch an hour of a film not even the whole thing and he's off to bed leaving me on my own. This kind of thing happens a lot. AIBU to be annoyed by this? When he started saying how tired he was I was just thinking "you're a grown man, it's a Friday night can we at least try to make an evening of it?" I did say that as well and he just said he was tired. I'm bored.

[Whack]

Also it would have been better to just have a night on my own than watching the first hour of a film again and then him heading off to bed. It isn't something I even particularly want to watch on my own.

[d270r0]

If hes tired he is entirely sensible to go to bed early. No one is in the mood to be romantic when they're knackered.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

YABU.

I don't think anyone has the right to keep their partner up if they don't want to stay up.

[Whack]

OK I am prepared to be told that in a way it makes me feel better to know that's normal, I don't mean to drop feed but this is quite regular not just a one off.

[Empireoftheclouds]

YABU. I am in bed now, in spite of a nice evening planned I am just too damn tired (possibly coming down with something as it's unusual) so I came up to bed.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I'm knackered on the Friday. Do you have kids, because Saturday morning romance is a possibility without.

[BaronessBomburst]

I'm shattered and thinking about going to bed too.
Did DH have a drink? If I'm tired, a glass of wine finishes me off.

[DeadGood]

The fact that it's a regular thing suggests that he is someone who gets tired early and wakes up early.

[unapaloma]

Maybe accept that, if he's often tired, that's hiwnitnis on a Friday, and lower your expectations to a cozy, short evening. Will he be more lively Saturday evening generally? Perhaps aimnfor the romantic evening then instead?

But if alternaively he's tired every night maybe he needs a check up from the doc?

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Why didn't you go to bed with him if 'romance' was on the cards?

I can't tell you how awful it feels for me to be made to stay up if you I feel tired. I actually feel really odd, a kind of nauseous feeling.

[sparklefarts]

Yabu. Actually yabvu.

[littleshitebing]

By Friday night I'm knackered. I'm ready for bed and dh is asleep on the sofa already. Do you have dc?

[EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck]

I get up around 5 and usually wake up around 2am for no reason, then can't get back to sleep. I'm in bed by 8 every night, although tonight I'm not tired, so will go to bed later tomorrow.

[limon]

Yabu. You sound like an inconsiderate selfish person.

[melj1213]

YABU - if he's tired, why should your DH have to stay up because you have eaten dinner together and watched a bit of a film?

I regularly go to bed early for no other reason than I am tired ... it's not an unreasonable thing to do. I work irregular shifts so not quite "9-5 Mon to Fri" schedule, but on days when I have worked multiple days in a row and have a couple of days off coming, I have been known to go to bed at 8:30 - around the same time as DD8!

In fact, having a weekend coming up usually means I end up going to bed early on a Friday because I know I can go to bed early and sleep as much as I need and wake up naturally without then risking sleeping away an entire morning and missing out on time when I can do whatever I want.

[ilovesooty]

Your comment "I'm bored" makes you sound a bit petulant. If he's tired, he's tired.

[JennyHolzersGhost]

I think it depends on how available he is for intimacy both emotional and physical at other times of day and week. If he's got a stressful job that tires him out then maybe Friday evening isn't the best time to expect him to be on form. But if it's a more general issue of him being emotionally and physically unavailable then YANBU.

[StillDrivingMeBonkers]

I do this all the time !

I'm an early bird, DH is a night owl, I usually toddle off at 9.30/10pm, he come up at midnight-ish on a work night or later if its a weekend.

I was in the mood to be romantic, he wasn't. Oh aye. You should have gone to bed with him.

[outabout]

A bit unreasonable.
If he is regularly tired or it follows a 'pattern' it should be investigated. A 'one off', simply tough.

[Violetcharlotte]

You are being unreasonable to be honest. He can't help being tired. I'm
always shattered Friday nights.

I do understand it's disappointing though when you'd been looking forward to an evening together.

[RadgePacket]

Why can't you just make a night of it tomorrow?

[user1486076969]

YABU - we both work, have been out (very rare event) for a nice meal. Good chat etc but now I'm in bed and DH is watching Versille....win, win...

[user76895432]

If he's tired, then he's being sensible in getting an early night.

Would you seriously rather he keep himself awake so you're not bored? Surely a grown woman can entertain herself for an evening?

I'm going to bed in a minute. I don't have a particularly stressful job but I'm always knackered on a Friday.

[Chickoletta]

YABVU. I'm off to bed now!

[pastabest]

I get you.

DP often does this, he IS tired but it doesn't make it any less annoying. After a day of work/ looking after children it would be nice to be able to spend a couple of hours in an evening with him, especially on a Friday but he often disappears to bed at 8.30/ 9.

I guess if its a one off YABU. If its a regular thing its fucking annoying. Its like he values his time 'sleeping' (because he isn't on his phone/ tablet right?) over spending time with you.