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DH going to bed early

(97 Posts)
Whack Fri 19-May-17 21:09:34


Obviously it's Friday night, DH and I have both worked all week but normal office hours. We had dinner at home at 7ish then went to watch a film which he chose. I was in the mood to be romantic, he wasn't. He has just gone to bed saying he's tired. He doesn't have to to be up early tomorrow neither of us have any plans.

I just feel like what a rubbish night. I make dinner, we watch an hour of a film not even the whole thing and he's off to bed leaving me on my own. This kind of thing happens a lot. AIBU to be annoyed by this? When he started saying how tired he was I was just thinking "you're a grown man, it's a Friday night can we at least try to make an evening of it?" I did say that as well and he just said he was tired. I'm bored.

Whack Fri 19-May-17 21:10:23

Also it would have been better to just have a night on my own than watching the first hour of a film again and then him heading off to bed. It isn't something I even particularly want to watch on my own.

d270r0 Fri 19-May-17 21:12:03

If hes tired he is entirely sensible to go to bed early. No one is in the mood to be romantic when they're knackered.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 19-May-17 21:12:35


I don't think anyone has the right to keep their partner up if they don't want to stay up.

Whack Fri 19-May-17 21:14:27

OK I am prepared to be told that in a way it makes me feel better to know that's normal, I don't mean to drop feed but this is quite regular not just a one off.

Empireoftheclouds Fri 19-May-17 21:15:18

YABU. I am in bed now, in spite of a nice evening planned I am just too damn tired (possibly coming down with something as it's unusual) so I came up to bed.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 19-May-17 21:16:23

I'm knackered on the Friday. Do you have kids, because Saturday morning romance is a possibility without.

BaronessBomburst Fri 19-May-17 21:17:50

I'm shattered and thinking about going to bed too.
Did DH have a drink? If I'm tired, a glass of wine finishes me off.

DeadGood Fri 19-May-17 21:20:08

The fact that it's a regular thing suggests that he is someone who gets tired early and wakes up early.

unapaloma Fri 19-May-17 21:20:30

Maybe accept that, if he's often tired, that's hiwnitnis on a Friday, and lower your expectations to a cozy, short evening. Will he be more lively Saturday evening generally? Perhaps aimnfor the romantic evening then instead?

But if alternaively he's tired every night maybe he needs a check up from the doc?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Fri 19-May-17 21:21:26

Why didn't you go to bed with him if 'romance' was on the cards?

I can't tell you how awful it feels for me to be made to stay up if you I feel tired. I actually feel really odd, a kind of nauseous feeling.

sparklefarts Fri 19-May-17 21:23:41

Yabu. Actually yabvu.

littleshitebing Fri 19-May-17 21:25:38

By Friday night I'm knackered. I'm ready for bed and dh is asleep on the sofa already. Do you have dc?

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck Fri 19-May-17 21:27:14

I get up around 5 and usually wake up around 2am for no reason, then can't get back to sleep. I'm in bed by 8 every night, although tonight I'm not tired, so will go to bed later tomorrow.

limon Fri 19-May-17 21:27:30

Yabu. You sound like an inconsiderate selfish person.

melj1213 Fri 19-May-17 21:28:11

YABU - if he's tired, why should your DH have to stay up because you have eaten dinner together and watched a bit of a film?

I regularly go to bed early for no other reason than I am tired ... it's not an unreasonable thing to do. I work irregular shifts so not quite "9-5 Mon to Fri" schedule, but on days when I have worked multiple days in a row and have a couple of days off coming, I have been known to go to bed at 8:30 - around the same time as DD8!

In fact, having a weekend coming up usually means I end up going to bed early on a Friday because I know I can go to bed early and sleep as much as I need and wake up naturally without then risking sleeping away an entire morning and missing out on time when I can do whatever I want.

ilovesooty Fri 19-May-17 21:29:19

Your comment "I'm bored" makes you sound a bit petulant. If he's tired, he's tired.

JennyHolzersGhost Fri 19-May-17 21:31:21

I think it depends on how available he is for intimacy both emotional and physical at other times of day and week. If he's got a stressful job that tires him out then maybe Friday evening isn't the best time to expect him to be on form. But if it's a more general issue of him being emotionally and physically unavailable then YANBU.

StillDrivingMeBonkers Fri 19-May-17 21:33:11

I do this all the time !

I'm an early bird, DH is a night owl, I usually toddle off at 9.30/10pm, he come up at midnight-ish on a work night or later if its a weekend.

I was in the mood to be romantic, he wasn't. Oh aye. You should have gone to bed with him.

outabout Fri 19-May-17 21:33:40

A bit unreasonable.
If he is regularly tired or it follows a 'pattern' it should be investigated. A 'one off', simply tough.

Violetcharlotte Fri 19-May-17 21:35:52

You are being unreasonable to be honest. He can't help being tired. I'm
always shattered Friday nights.

I do understand it's disappointing though when you'd been looking forward to an evening together.

RadgePacket Fri 19-May-17 21:36:18

Why can't you just make a night of it tomorrow?

user1486076969 Fri 19-May-17 21:36:30

YABU - we both work, have been out (very rare event) for a nice meal. Good chat etc but now I'm in bed and DH is watching, win...

user76895432 Fri 19-May-17 21:37:27

If he's tired, then he's being sensible in getting an early night.

Would you seriously rather he keep himself awake so you're not bored? Surely a grown woman can entertain herself for an evening?

I'm going to bed in a minute. I don't have a particularly stressful job but I'm always knackered on a Friday.

Chickoletta Fri 19-May-17 21:37:32

YABVU. I'm off to bed now!

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