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To ask stranger to hold DD's hand

(166 Posts)
BeakyFlapdoodle Fri 19-May-17 18:45:13

No more abuse please, I'm feeling wobbly enough as it is, but would really like an unbiased opinion.

I have two DD aged 2.5 and 6 months. DD1 goes to a small village nursery for a day a week and this morning I needed to drop her off at 9 in order to head into work to talk about starting back. So I was stressed enough trying to get everyone out of the house whilst trying to make sure I didn't look as though I'd been dragged through a bush.
I then became much more stressed when I realised that the road to DD's nursery was closed. The workmen told me that I needed to park the car on the already overcrowded village road and walk the ten mins up to the nursery. I parked in the only space available (bearing in mind I needed to lug two small children up a hill) which happened to be in front of a dropped kerb outside a pub car park. Yes. Totally in the wrong. But I checked the car park which was empty apart from one car (figured it likely belonged to the owner) there was literally nowhere else to stop (yes, I wish I'd parked in the carpark but I've had a recent bad experience with a landlord shouting at me for using his carpark 'illegally') and I reasoned that pubs don't get a huge amount of visitors before 9am on a Friday morning and that I'd be ten minutes.

I got the buggy out of the boot and fastened in the baby. I heaved the toddler out of the car amidst shouts of 'I want to sit in the buggyyyyy!' Locked the car and started to walk up the muddy hill towards the godforsaken nursery.

After a few minutes I hear a (not at all happy) shout of 'Excuse me!' followed by another when I don't stop immediately.
'You're blocking me in! Come and move your car!'
With the nursery now in sight, i explain to the woman (who I assume is another mum in the same predicament) that if I could just walk the 5 more minutes it'll take to drop DD off (as opposed to dragging them both back to the car, moving the car and then beginning the whole exercise all over again) then I'll run back down the hill and move the car immediately, but I'm running really, really late. This did not go down well.
Apparently I was 'breaking the law' by parking in front of a dropped kerb (fair enough..) and did I want the police to be called? hmm

At this point (mega stressed) we turned around and started walking back towards the car and i suggested to my new shouty friend that the quickest and easiest way for me to move the car would be if she could stand on the pavement next to me and hold DD's hand and the buggy to avoid me having to get everyone into the car first. At this suggestion, she looked me up and down as though I were bloody Ian Brady incarnate and said:

*'what kind of parent are you that you'd leave your children with someone you don't even know?'

A bit taken aback, I explained that I had no intention of 'leaving them' with anyone, i was simply asking her to stand with them (in full view of me) while I moved the car for her.

Apparently, I am 'a disgusting excuse for a parent' for suggesting it and the abuse continued until I snapped and said 'alright, I'll leave the car where it is then!' Turned around and carried on up the hill.

So, I'd really like to know whether it was a completely unreasonable suggestion? Do people not do things like this to help each other anymore?

Coldhandscoldheart Fri 19-May-17 18:48:28

Sounds alright to me. I've offered & had the offer accepted to stand with a woman's either baby or toddler can't remember which when they were struggling & failing to get up an icy ungritted road.
Bear in mind maybe she was also running late though. Not sure either if you covered yourselves in glory wink

BastardBloodAndSand Fri 19-May-17 18:50:09

She's a fucking knob. And your response was perfect. I'd have done exactly the same.

NavyandWhite Fri 19-May-17 18:50:53

She was probably just annoyed that you'd parked in front of her dropped kerb, which obviously you shouldn't have done.

However in her shoes I would have said I didn't mind you leaving the car there for 10 mins in view of the fact you're obviously stressed with two young children, she was rather mean! As for her comments about your parenting? Batshit crazy.

brew

Trifleorbust Fri 19-May-17 18:51:02

You sound really stressed. You are not a bad parent or a disgusting person. You just had a bad day. flowers

BrickInTheWall Fri 19-May-17 18:51:25

I would have left my kids just while I moved a car back.
I'm not going to give you abuse but this could have so easily been avoided. You would be much better parking in a car park and risk getting a yelling from a landlord then parking over a dropped curb.

Bringmewineandcake Fri 19-May-17 18:52:11

You shouldn't have parked where you did but if I'd have been the other woman I would have held your DDs hand.
Bit crap on both sides, try and move on flowers

Waltermittythesequel Fri 19-May-17 18:53:10

I don't get it. Was hers the car parked in the pub car park?

StandardNameHere Fri 19-May-17 18:54:14

Maybe it's a sad sign on my part but no, no way would I have done that.
Yes people help each other out but I wouldn't trust a stranger (especially one who is already being an arse) to watch my children, mainly making sure my toddler wouldn't run into the road as she's a darter. I trust strangers with my shopping or coat but children? Nope
That women sounds ridiculous though, okay you shouldn't have parked there , no excuses but she went OTT

kali110 Fri 19-May-17 18:54:45

I think you were both in the wrong

NavyandWhite Fri 19-May-17 18:55:23

And where were you going to move it to?

kali110 Fri 19-May-17 18:55:39

Think yabu to have then left the car blocking her in.

NamedyChangedy Fri 19-May-17 18:56:21

Under normal circumstances it would have been nice for her to have offered, but sounds like it was stressful for all concerned. Hope you've had a chance to chill out now wine - we all have those days!

redexpat Fri 19-May-17 18:56:38

No i dont think ywbu. Where I live that would be absolutely fine.

Waltermittythesequel Fri 19-May-17 18:56:42

Yes, where were you going to move the car to?!

Cel982 Fri 19-May-17 18:57:59

Her parenting lecture was ridiculous, of course you weren't putting your kids in any real danger by asking her to stand there with them.

Try to let it go. She was probably having as stressful a morning as you were and was not 'her best self', as they say. Nothing worth dwelling on.

BeakyFlapdoodle Fri 19-May-17 18:58:01

Hers was the car in the pub. I would've moved mine in there and faced the wrath of the landlord...

Whosthemummynow Fri 19-May-17 18:58:56

You asked her to have your 2 small children whilst you moved the car...... If that was the only place to park where on earth were you going to put the car?!

kali110 Fri 19-May-17 18:59:33

She wasn't being unreasonable to not hold your dd hand though, i wouldn't be in charge of a strangers child.

NavyandWhite Fri 19-May-17 18:59:37

Ah ok. So your car was blocking the entrance to the pub car park?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Fri 19-May-17 19:00:04

Yes I have asked strangers to hold my children, usually on buses while I fold buggies. However I wouldn't ask random shouty woman.

Btw, that wasn't the only available space any more than the green bit in the middle of a roundabout is a picnic spot.

Waltermittythesequel Fri 19-May-17 19:00:12

I think it was just one of those high tension situations.

From her POV you blocked her in, refused to move at first, expected her to wait at least another five minutes because you'd parked illegally, and then wanted her to mind your kids!!

I wouldn't waste any more time worrying about it. The road works probably made her late, too and you don't know what she was late for!

It's over and done with now. smile

DeadGood Fri 19-May-17 19:01:50

YANBU. What a shit morning. I'd have lost my rag completely! flowers

YesMilk Fri 19-May-17 19:02:59

I don't think it was outrageous at all, I have the same age gap and sympathise completely.

I'd have a cup of tea, stuff my face with biscuits and find a new nursery with a car park brewcake

BeakyFlapdoodle Fri 19-May-17 19:05:07

movingonup only other option was turning around and going home. I'd never normally park illegally, but (aside from pub car park which is also illegal!) I literally could not get DD to nursery.

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