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Wedding Invites

(11 Posts)
Wannabe2017 Fri 19-May-17 08:13:37

Morning!

DP and I are getting married next summer and we're discussing who to invite, seating arrangements etc.

I have a small but awkward family and I don't know what to do for the best!

My DM and aunty aren't speaking to my DGM. I don't blame them, she's been a terrible mother/grandmother over the years but I haven't fallen out with her per say.

My DM and aunty have reassured me that they have no objection to me inviting my DGM but if she does come, they won't be speaking with with her and she is more than likely to make a huge drama. I've also been told that my uncle and cousins definitely won't attend if DGM does.

I'm not bothered if my DGM is there or not, she hasn't bothered with me or any of us for months. She's not even met my DD whose 10 months old. But if I feel awful if I purposefully DONT invite her. I don't want any drama or to upset anyone but either way there will be.

WWYD?

rizlett Fri 19-May-17 08:26:59

It's your wedding - it's your responsibility to choose who you actually want to invite - but you not your responsibility to worry about what anyone else thinks of your choice or even what anyone thinks of anyone else. If others choose not to come that's entirely up to them and not your responsibility either.

We can't spend our lives worrying about the possibility of offending other people - if someone is offended by our choices - that's their responsibility too.

Madwoman5 Fri 19-May-17 08:31:13

Invite all the warring factions, remind them this is YOUR day, assign ushers to keep the peace. Seat them separately and mix the families. I hate tables of His and Hers as it creates "camps". Stick both parents together, stick aunties with aunties and gps with gps. Mix friends. Try and get round tables to encourage conversations with more than just neighbours. Enjoy your day.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 19-May-17 08:35:08

You've had nothing to do with your GM for a year(?) and you're not bothered whether she's there, her presence is likely to cause awkwardness, perhaps even an argument, and will result in people you do want to be present from declining your invitation. Don't invite her.

RiversrunWoodville Fri 19-May-17 08:35:16

madwoman said everything I was going to say perfectly nothing to add but enjoy your day

Wannabe2017 Fri 19-May-17 08:45:22

I wish it was as easy as keeping them separated etc but my family are incredibly stubborn and confrontational. Likelihood is my DGM will get drunk, start crying and telling DP's family how awful my DM and aunty are which would be horrible. Then DM and aunty will be upset and say something.... Uch why is family SO difficult!

Palegreenstars Fri 19-May-17 08:48:39

If she hasn't bothered to meet your child in 10 months then she should not expect an invite

Or maybe just invite her to the evening and she'll see it as a snub and decline

Shoxfordian Fri 19-May-17 08:50:28

Just make life easy and don't invite your dgm

SkyBluePinkToday Fri 19-May-17 09:19:30

1. You're not bothered if she is there.
2. She is likely to cause a drama.
3. It will upset people who you do want to be there.

It's a no-brainer really.

CoraPirbright Fri 19-May-17 09:27:17

Was about to say exactly what Skyblue says. I think its terribly easy to get yourself tied up in knots about this sort of thing when, actually, it could just be really simple. It would be different if you are in a lot of contact with your DGM and she was involved with your baby etc. However, you don't have much to do with her, she has managed to piss off so many of your extended family that a lot of them are NC with her and she is likely to cause a scene on the day. Once you make the decision, I think you will find a weight has been taken off your shoulders. It is entirely your DGM's fault, not yours - if she wasn't such a baggage then you would be happily inviting her.

MuncheysMummy Fri 19-May-17 09:40:13

She hasn't bothered with you for at least 10 months and hasn't even met your daughter?? Why WOULD you invite her??

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