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WIBU to keep DS off school tomorrow?

(38 Posts)
Welshmaenad Thu 18-May-17 21:58:26

DS is 7, in Y2.

His sister is Y6 but will be off tomorrow anyway as she has quite a nasty virus with cough/headache.

We have to take DCat to the vet tomorrow to be PTS. Her back legs have given out, vet administered steroids as last ditch effort this morning but there's been no change (she is a very elderly cat). I'm making the call to PTS as she is still eating/drinking/purring and don't want her to get to the stage of pain or extreme distress.

DS is devastated about DCat, he adores her, and has just cried himself to sleep. He will be devastated at being sent to school tomorrow knowing his sister is coming to the vet with me on DCat's final journey. WIBU to keep him off and let him come too so he doesn't feel excluded as well as devastated?

Muchtoomuchtodo Thu 18-May-17 22:03:42

Not at all U imo.

Hope you're all ok flowers

refusetobeasheep Thu 18-May-17 22:11:07

yes keep him off

Dodie66 Thu 18-May-17 22:13:47

Yes I would keep him home.

Vrooooom Thu 18-May-17 22:15:18

I think being at school might be less distressing for him than going to the vets. Personally I wouldn't have told him she was definitely going yo be PTS tomorrow but would have gently suggested as a possibility IYSWIM

Alexandra87 Thu 18-May-17 22:16:25

Yr2 are doing sats at the moment so I would send him if it was me so he didn't potentially miss a test

TeenAndTween Thu 18-May-17 22:19:20

Is your y6 well enough to be out and about and visiting the vets?

WildKiwi Thu 18-May-17 22:20:44

Definitely keep him off. It's one day and if he's at school he'll just be upset, so won't be getting anything out of it.

So sorry about poor DCat, but you're making the right decision so that she doesn't suffer. Hope you're all ok flowers

MooMooCat Thu 18-May-17 22:21:52

Definitely, sorry to hear about dcat, let him be at home to grieve.

ListenToYourHeart Thu 18-May-17 22:25:10

I'd say let him have the day off.

It's awful losing a family pet sadflowers

PurpleDaisies Thu 18-May-17 22:26:04

Sorry to hear about your cat. flowers

Just as s little warning "pts" isn't always a peaceful as it sounds so make sure the children aren't actually there when it happens. I'm sure you're doing the right thing for your cat-it's the worst part of being a pet owner flowers

You wouldn't be unreasonable in keeping your son off if that's what he wants.

Fruitcorner123 Thu 18-May-17 22:30:47

Keep him off . Poor thing. Sending you flowers for your difficult day tomorrow

WannaBe Thu 18-May-17 22:32:40

No I wouldn't. School will be a distraction from what is going to be a sad day, and tbh I wouldn't take a seven year old to the vet for an animal to be pts.

I had to have my dog pts when DS was seven, and he was understandably upset before school, but I informed the teacher/TA About what was happening and they said they would look out for him. But he was distracted by being with his friends and got on with the day until pickup. Upset came afterwards when we got home, but IMO there's no need for the DC to have to share in the sadness of the day.

Floralnomad Thu 18-May-17 22:34:40

Keep him off but as pp said think very carefully about them actually being present sometimes it's not as pleasant as you may like . Sorry about your cat . 💐

Crumbs1 Thu 18-May-17 22:36:58

They should both be in school.

StaplesCorner Thu 18-May-17 22:40:01

My eldest DD was off sick, so I actually went to get my younger DD (then year 7) when our dog was PTS 2 years ago. School is no distraction whilst a beloved pet dies.

purplecoathanger Thu 18-May-17 22:42:16

Definitely let him stay off. So sorry to hear about your Dcat x

callmeadoctor Thu 18-May-17 22:43:16

Just a thought (and what I did with my wonderful wonderful dog), I made sure my dd gave him a cuddle and told him that she loved him, then sent her to school. When she came home I told her that he had passed away peacefully in his happy place under the tree in the garden. (Not to prevent her from knowing that pets had to be put to sleep sometimes, but to avoid the awfulness of saying goodbye to him knowing that he would be taken to die.). I kept a lock of his hair for her, she was content that he had died in a happy loving place. xx

MsJudgemental Thu 18-May-17 22:48:54

If he is not having SATs tomorrow, let him stay home. When our elderly cat was put to sleep it was very peaceful; we held her while she had the injection and then took her home to bury her. I think it is a valuable learning experience for your children and will help them cope with the loss.

PurpleDaisies Thu 18-May-17 22:53:10

Unfortunately msjudgemental it's not always as peaceful as your experience. I don't think children should be in the room in case it's not as nice to see. I'd let them cuddle the cat for the last time and take them out.

MrsLupo Thu 18-May-17 22:54:31

Just as s little warning "pts" isn't always a peaceful as it sounds so make sure the children aren't actually there when it happens. I'm sure you're doing the right thing for your cat-it's the worst part of being a pet owner

I was about to say exactly this. But yes, I would keep DS off too. Could you do some kind of treat afterwards - cream cakes or a special tea or something - like a little wake for DCat? Photos and good memories, that kind of thing. Or build a little memorial in the garden with stones and picked flowers, and have a good cry.

Very sorry about your cat. flowers

OwlOfBrown Thu 18-May-17 23:13:02

Yes, keep him off. I kept both of mine off school for a day after we had DDog PTS, and neither school questioned it (one at primary, one at secondary) We watched a film and went for a long walk in the countryside. A pet is a family member and there is still a grieving process to go through and it is important to give children the space to do that.

Ceto Thu 18-May-17 23:23:16

Keep him off, but I would really think very carefully about taking either of the children to the vets if you can avoid it. I would have thought the journey and the whole experience, even if they're not there when the deed is done, could be really distressing for them.

50ShadesOfEarlGrey Thu 18-May-17 23:23:21

Thank you to those posting that it isn't always a peaceful process. I have taken a cat and a dog to the vets for this in the past and had to take our darling 18 year old cat a few weeks ago. I was shocked that it wasn't peaceful with him as the others had been. He struggled to get away. I have since felt that he obviously wasn't 'ready' to go, and despite the vet reassuring me that the time had come, I have been feeling dreadful about this. I haven't been able to share this with my family as I wanted them to think it was all as lovely as this situation can be,

Sorry to hijack your thread OP, but it wasn't a great experience TBH.

Sorry you are losing a loved pet.

Welshmaenad Thu 18-May-17 23:24:11

They wouldn't be in the room, they would be in the waiting room just outside. I think actually being there would be too distressing, I wouldn't do that to them. They are aware of the premise of euthanasia as we have had pets PTS before (I don't use that term with them, we talk about the vet helping them to die peacefully as it's the kindest thing).

He has finished his tests, wouldn't be missing any (that wouldn't massively influence me anyway, I think they are ridiculous). DD absolutely won't be in school either way, due to her being unwell, but she can hack a short trip out. Not much choice as there's nobody else to look after her, and I can't leave DCat dragging her paralysed lower half around all weekend, poor old girl sad

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