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Effing chickens in Effing London suburbia FFS!

(61 Posts)
Henrysmycat Thu 18-May-17 15:01:54

One of those WWYD...
We live in a naice part of the London suburbia/Surrey border, in a lovely house with decent garden where the previous garden neighbours we share a fence at the bottom of both our gardens, had a lovely thick tallish bushy hedge for absolute privacy.
It was a dream!!!

Those neighbours left and the new ones moved in. First, the husband thinks he's a bit of a gardener and hack the bush to 'shapes'! It was a cluster of fucking disasters. Then they decided to go all "the Good life" (ironic eh?) and got some chickens.
Today, I woke up to see all the hedges completely gone, being able to see right thru their bathroom and lo and behold, the aforementioned chicken coop moved right on our boundary.
I know, there is fuckall I can do but the coop is visible about half a meter on top of the fence and that effing rooster is a loud mofo.
How can I disguise it? Waiting for plants to grow and do my own hedge is a long term solution and I am not going to be alive to see it. Any other ideas?
PS. If I steal a cook the rooster are any MNers willing to come and eat him as I am veggie myself?
Any ideas except moving to the outer Hebrides?

RB68 Thu 18-May-17 15:04:18

you can complain about the noise of the rooster as it is unsociable to have those in built up areas to be honest given they will often crow from around 3.30 4am sometimes.

If it was their hedge there was nothing you could do really - errect some more fencing???

Kokusai Thu 18-May-17 15:04:57

You can erect a nice 6 foot fence with trellis on fop now to get back your privacy.

I quite like chickens but if its noisy rooster that will be bad!

DJBaggySmalls Thu 18-May-17 15:07:24

I wouldnt mind the hens in a town but I'd draw the line at a rooster. Hens dont need a male to lay eggs. I'm pretty sure there are bye laws against them.
My neighbours have a rooster. To put this in perspective, when I lived on a farm, we had a light proof chicken coop so the rooster didnt crow and wake the neighbour who was a half a mile away.

Westfacing Thu 18-May-17 15:08:11

You'll have to get ready-grown hedges put in, or threaten the suburban farmers with Leyandii trees!

BollardDodger Thu 18-May-17 15:08:42

Surely it won't be long until the local foxes get them?

psychomath Thu 18-May-17 15:10:10

Sorry this is totally unhelpful OP, but do you live very close to the Thames? I TOLD my mum I heard a rooster there when I last went to visit, and she didn't believe me... I know a few people who keep ex-battery hens for eggs, which I think is nice, but I have no idea why anyone would want a rooster in London. If it wasn't the same one then it must be the new trend or something confused

sparechange Thu 18-May-17 15:12:40

Buy mature hedge plants and trees and get them planted, for a ready-made boundary

ILookedintheWater Thu 18-May-17 15:15:16

Is there really a cockerel? No need for one to get eggs and generally considered very antisocial in built up areas. Complain to the council if the crowing at dawn is waking you.

tattychicken Thu 18-May-17 15:15:27

It's called a COCKEREL!! We're not Americans.

As you were.

user1491572121 Thu 18-May-17 15:17:40

Why have they got a cockerel? Are they breeding? It's inconsiderate. I have way would I get a male!

Complain to the council...hopefully they won't have the required approval.

Henrysmycat Thu 18-May-17 15:22:47

Yes, we are near the Thames btw and yes, there is a Cockerel and chickens. 12 chicks (approx.) and 1 cockerel.
Apologies for the rooster, I am not American but I'm not a Brit either.
Looking for ideas how to cover the eyesore.
Are bamboos a bad idea?

SherlockHolmes Thu 18-May-17 15:23:21

1. Don't use the word "effing", it makes you sound like a dick. Say "fucking" if that's what you mean.
2. It's a cockerel, not a rooster.
3. You are being unreasonable.

TheCaptainsCat Thu 18-May-17 15:25:53

Bad day, Sherlock? hmm

OP, YANBU about a rooster in suburbia.

choccyp1g Thu 18-May-17 15:29:29

If you want a hedge, plant one in your own garden.

SapphireStrange Thu 18-May-17 15:32:09

Find out about laws regarding noise and cockerels.

I can't get worked up about you being able to see
their bathroom or the chicken coop, though. If you need 'absolute privacy' you shouldn't live in a city.

SeaLionsOnMyShirt Thu 18-May-17 15:35:16

Can you buy some mature laurels & plant them? We did this 3ish years ago with some 4ft laurel bushes and now have a lovely 7+ft
hedge along our boundary blocking out some of the neighbours monstrosity of a mcmansion Some varieties of laurel do grow very fast.

Failing that then I think that a new fence & trellis is the only way to go. I wouldn't get bamboo.

TinklyLittleLaugh Thu 18-May-17 15:35:43

Many suburban houses have covenants about keeping chickens and the like, so your neighbour might be breaking some rules.

I wouldn't stress too much about the chickens, in my observation they don't tend to last long with first time keepers. And remember, that cockerel will wake them up as well as you.

In the meantime, something like buddleia grows tall pretty quickly.

SirVixofVixHall Thu 18-May-17 15:38:50

I have a cockerel. I LOVE him. He is much nicer than my hens, since fab hen died. He is a bantam though, so he crows fairly quietly. I'm not in Surrey either...
Hens are much happier with a cockerel. However, if he is a massive noisy beast then I suppose I can see your point, although I like the noise.
Re cutting down hedges though, that is bad in my book. Why have they done that?

user1468353179 Thu 18-May-17 15:40:11

I feel for you. The people at the back of us keep chickens and the bastard cockerel crows all the fucking time.

Deathraystare Thu 18-May-17 15:40:22

Where my friend lived in London/Essex (ok Ilford!) the bloke two doors away got a cockeral all the way from Pakistan. Don't know why it had to be from there (mind you, the family was) - I think it was a special breed or something so assume it was there for breeding purposes as you don't need a cockeral for egg laying.

Aftershock15 Thu 18-May-17 15:40:30

6 ft fence and then pleached trees above - not cheap by gets height quickly.

Deathraystare Thu 18-May-17 15:42:28

Forgot to add - I could hear it but it wasn't as bad as some I have heard. I presume no one bothered reporting it.

NonStopDisco Thu 18-May-17 15:42:40

Where I live, chickens are fine, but cockerels are banned.
Definitely complain to council and build tall fence

NancyWake Thu 18-May-17 15:43:35

What you need is a fox. 🦊

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