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Posting for traffic - feeling very demoralised.

(11 Posts)
Pombearsandnaiceham Thu 18-May-17 02:27:34

I know it's really late, so will try to keep this as brief as I can. Just posting for traffic.

I'm feeling very low at the moment, and have been getting quite panicked and stressed just in general.

I'm also unemployed at the moment, which I definitely think is contributing to how I'm feeling. I'm applying for jobs at the moment, and am also getting careers advice from an NHS careers counselling service, which is hugely helpful. I'm just finding it a huge struggle right now. I feel really demoralised and depressed - partly because I'm unemployed and partly also because, through not having a regular job or a regular income, I don't often meet with other people, and so I've been feeling quite lonely as well. I'm receiving telephone counselling at the moment, which also includes a subscription to a CBT service called Silvercloud (not sure if anyone's used it before or heard of it?) Although I'm finding it useful, the coping techniques that I've learned from it don't necessarily help in situations like this, when I'm feeling very down and am finding it difficult to link how I'm feeling to a specific reason.

In order to improve my mood and general confidences (and to try and get more skills to apply for paid work), I've been applying for volunteering roles. I hope this will also be a step in the right direction.

Anyone around with some words of support please? smile Does it get better?

HorraceTheOtter Thu 18-May-17 02:34:42

I don't have much experience except with the feeling demoralised. I'm just about to go to bed, but I didn't want to leave you alone. Sometimes life is shit and can be rather unfair, it does almost always get better. You're doing everything to improve it. It will get better x.

Imbroglio Thu 18-May-17 02:59:31

Another one just dropping in to say hello.

It sounds like things are really tough but that you are doing all the right things, including reaching out for a bit of encouragement! I hope things feel better in the morning.

Izzy24 Thu 18-May-17 03:13:46

Hi, really sorry you're feeling so low - it's a horrible place to be.

I think the idea of volunteering is really helpful. Apart from being isolating, it can be hard to make a routine to shape your day around when you're unemployed so volunteering can help with that.

This time in the night is just the worst for feeling low.

It will get better- and I hope it will be soon for you.

HorraceTheOtter Thu 18-May-17 06:22:38

I hope you're feeling a bit less overwhelmed this morning flowers

Pombearsandnaiceham Thu 18-May-17 13:49:07

Thank you so much for your support, everyone smile I'm really grateful, and your suggestions and guidance have been really useful.

Izzy, you're so right about the routine. That's one of the main things that I'm struggling with, and it's definitely having a big impact on my motivation, thoughts and behaviour.

Thanks so much for your support Horrace and Imbroglio flowers

If anyone else also has further support, please do get in touch. I'd be so grateful to hear from you!

Pombearsandnaiceham Thu 18-May-17 14:52:22

Anyone around with any extra tips please? smile

Lightship Thu 18-May-17 14:58:17

Have you been unemployed for long, OP? I nearly went mad on maternity leave, despite the presence of a demanding new baby, because we had moved to a rural area where I knew no one, I hated not working, and I was utterly miserable. Also, I suspect I looked so visibly desperate when I appeared at baby groups, I wasn't exactly an attractive prospect to befriend, especially in a rather insular village!

I did pull myself out of it, though I'm not entirely sure how, if I'm honest, but I have total sympathy for you. It was a horrible, confidence-sapping time I can hardly bear to remember.

Volunteering sounds like a good plan to me, but you should also try to do something you love, something you can really lose yourself in.

Lemuriformes Thu 18-May-17 15:05:33

I agree with the routine - and volunteering is a good way to help establish that.

I also find for me that planning little things and adhering to the plan is a great way to both keep on top of things and allow me to feel a sense of achievement. They only need to be tiny things, depending on how you're feeling that day. You could plan a schedule for the day that includes something like tidying or cleaning a part of your house (I cheered myself up this morning by cleaning the bathroom sink!). And literally writing lists and ticking things off helps me too. I can see what I've achieved. Or maybe you could do meal planning for the week, write the ingredients list, shop and cook (even if it's basic 'chuck it in the microwave' cooking) every day. I enjoy food so that one really helps me.

Pombearsandnaiceham Fri 19-May-17 11:20:05

Hi everyone!

Sorry for disappearing for a while!

Thanks so much for all of your help.

Lightship since last November, after resigning from a teacher training course blush I was very depressed for a while, due to various factors. In November, I made plans to contact various agencies for temporary work, but didn't get around to acting on my plans decisively until January. blush

I've been in part-time work since February, but because all of the work is ad-hoc (one-off work opportunities for a few hours from recruitment agencies, short-term tuition contracts etc.), I'm more or less unemployed, as it's not regular work or many hours per week.

Having the work opportunities coming up has been very helpful both from a financial point of view and from a viewpoint of establishing a regular routine which, as previous posters have mentioned, can be very beneficial.

I'm just nervous about looking for jobs at the moment, as I'm well aware that I need to find something very soon, and I'm feeling a bit of pressure due to needing to have a regular income and needing to get established in work.

Also, sorry to go a bit off-topic, but I'm feeling quite stressed because I'm organising a hen weekend for a friend in a few weeks. It's getting quite pricey, and is set to be even more pricey because apparently it's tradition that the bride doesn't pay for herself for a hen do. Is this correct? Can anyone who's been on hen dos confirm whether this is the done thing now? confused

Thanks again everyone. Please do keep your tips coming. It's been great to have your support.

Pombearsandnaiceham Fri 19-May-17 11:23:54

Also Lightship I'm so sorry to hear about how you felt during maternity leave flowers sad your support really means an awful lot to me - thank you flowers how are you feeling now?

And thank you so much Lemuriformes smile I also love food and cooking, so your suggestions are great - thank you! And ticking off lists and making lists is so helpful too. Thanks!

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