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to be SO SO sick of constant attempts at self-improvement?

(17 Posts)
mowmylawn Wed 17-May-17 19:16:04

I feel like I'm in this perpetual cycle of self-improvement, especially when it comes to work. Strive to be the best! Always be learning! Shoot for the stars!

I want to take a new job and it's a lateral move - in fact, worse than a lateral move as the hours are slightly longer. And some folks I know are like 'Oh I could never make a lateral move at work, I'd only move if it was more money/more responsibility'.

Do we always have to go for more responsibility? Do I have to learn this new technique to do something 16% better, do I have to study this diagram to see where my teams could make marginal improvements in performance? I'M FUCKING TIRED. I like my job how it is, I just want to do it somewhere nicer. I'm the breadwinner so I have guilt that I'm not going for more but I'm so so so stressed of always having to 'be better'.

Plus life all around us these days is '10 ways you are cleaning your toilet wrong! 15 ways to increase the amount of fibre in your cat's diet! Are you irreparably harming your children's development? Click here to find out!'.

AIBU or is it OK to just coast in life every once in a while? I'd love to be able to come home from work and help my daughter (in reception) with her handwriting without being worried that I'm missing out on some webinar being run in the States which I can make if I just login now at the kitchen table...

LostSight Wed 17-May-17 19:18:33

Help your daughter,if that's what you want to do. Coast for a while. This time won't come round again.

PurpleDaisies Wed 17-May-17 19:20:02

There's nothing wrong with making a lateral move, or even taking a step down if that's what will make you happier. Life's about more than just work.

MoonDuke Wed 17-May-17 19:23:42

I'm coasting.

I've previously worked very hard and had several promotions. Then last year took a side step into a different company. Earn the same but far fewer opportunities. Meh.

The only improvement I try now is how I look (clothes and a small amount of weight loss).

I want to see more of my DC

steveharley Wed 17-May-17 19:26:52

I took a lower grade post. It was quite a big step backwards. Fabulous move and I'm really happy - not everyone understood ( or wanted to) and I had a few barely concealed jibes about not hacking it at the top.
I didn't and still don't care. Me and my family are happier 😀

Intransige Wed 17-May-17 19:31:10

The webinar will be largely a waste of time. Your daughter needs you.

I don't say that lightly; I work in a very competitive field and am currently considering further study. But honestly, life is short and you only get one go at it. Children are little for such a short time.

TheTurnOfTheScrew Wed 17-May-17 19:34:44

I refuse to use the word "coasting".

I am in a job where I am very experienced and competent, working well within my skill set. I produce good outcomes and am a valued member of the team. It's all good.

And yet people are surprised that I don't want to throw all this away to do a completely different role in management. I am surprised at their surprise.

pandarific Wed 17-May-17 19:35:19

Actually op, you're the one who's on trend, the people that are saying that are very old fashioned - not all career development = vertical progression, in fact it's more of a climbing wall.

Lateral moves are actually looked on well by employers, as you're gaining experience and new skills.

Spectre8 Wed 17-May-17 19:35:50

I've done a few lateral moves and recently took a £200 p/m paycut to get a job however on balance I have only ever done those things because I would enjoy the work I am doing and means I leave work on time. It really depends on the lifestyle you want to live, its not always about earning more. If the salary you are on provides the lifestyle you are happy and content with then you are already winning as there are plenty of people who do not find happiness or contentment. Sure earning more might mean one more holiday or x y z but if it meant more stress, longer hours and less contentment screw it.

mowmylawn Wed 17-May-17 20:22:10

MNers pulling me off the ledge tonight, big thanks to everyone! I really appreciate the responses/experiences shared. Big breath in... and out.

Spectre8 Wed 17-May-17 21:29:34

Glad your feeling better OP and remember you don't need anyone's validation on what you do. Live your life by the rules and standards you set for yourself as that is what matters the most, certainly not anyone else's thoughts or opinions. Sure listen to them but don't bother even justifying or arguing when them if you know within yourself what you are doing is going to make you happy. smile Good luck!

Sunshinesuperman Wed 17-May-17 21:39:53

My last couple of moves since the DC have been lateral, they stop me from getting bored at work and given my a work/kids/home balance. I am a highly trained and skilled professional but I have no interest in moving up. My DH states that we are called 'individual contributors'.

Madwoman5 Wed 17-May-17 21:43:19

Every employer needs plodders and climbers. Plodders are happy with their lot and do not crave more, more and consistently deliver. Climbers need new challenges, growth and increasing rewards. Some people drop into plodders at certain times of life after being climbers and visa versa. Nothing wrong with either.

CatsDogsandDC Wed 17-May-17 21:59:33

Absolutely nothing wrong with choosing what suits you. That shows you are an adult with a good understanding of your needs.

I choose to do a job with pretty poor pay compared to others I have had. I choose it consciously because it is varied and interesting, I largely work from home (single parent), I control my own hours (mostly) and I work with some lovely people compared the tossers I worked with in corporate jobs. To me it's a no brainer and I don't care what other people may think!

DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel Wed 17-May-17 22:24:39

I plod/coast/whatever. Im happy. I go to work, come home, spend time with my family (3 DCs) and exercise. The only stress I really get is remembering a child needs trousers for school tomorrow, or wondering if I want to have my PT session that week or enter another 10K race. I love it.

I did have the opportunity to do well for myself careerwise. I could have some proper accounting qualifications now, but I didn't want to make the committment so I didn't.

I dont want a career, just a job to pay the bills. Im happy with this. I like going to work and coming home without stressing over my day or tomorrow or next week or a meeting etc.

CakeNinja Thu 18-May-17 07:27:50

Dr, I could have written your post myself!

BollardDodger Thu 18-May-17 07:49:33

Maybe people who just want to progress at work are jealous that you are in a position to make this decision, or that you have things more important to you than work.

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