To ask for help with naughty playground behaviour

[AnnieHallScotland]

My son is six and has always been very shy, to the point he finds it incredibly hard to join in. He had been through a lot this year as my husband and I split. His teacher says he is quiet in class but nice and well behaved. Academically probably quite average for his age.

But I have been noticing some behaviour of his in the playground recently that has upset me.

I have seen him be destructive towards other children's games (kicking sand, wrecking structures etc) trying to fight other boys, being rude to them etc. He will also roll his eyes teenage like at me when i talk to him.

I saw him kick over something in the playground today that another boy had built and of course a group of boys told him to get lost. He is being unfriendly. He has one of two good friends that he plays nicely with though.

I have spoken to him about it countless times, made him leave the playgroup etc, nothing seems to make a difference. He is lovely and pleasant at home, with grandparents etc but if I am honest a lot of kids at his school must think he is a rude little boy :(

Could anyone help or advise what to do? Thank you!

[DeanKoontz]

Is he trying to fit in? Mirroring behaviour of other more 'confident' kids (in his eyes)?

It's not clear from your OP where he is exhibiting this behaviour, and how often you are seeing it?

[AnnieHallScotland]

Sorry it is in school playground after school (kids usually hang out in playground for half an hour or so)

[grasspigeons]

Has your school got a home school link worker who could do a few sessions on play with him? Worth an ask.

[AnnieHallScotland]

Bump!

[Sunshinesuperman]

The first thing is that I wouldn't be too surprised given that he has had a tough year emotionally. It would be unusual if he didn't have both sadness and anger as a result of this, add in that he is pretty shy at the best of times and an overly aggressive response to other kids wouldn't be unusual.
I would give him some space and tools, maybe watch inside out and chat or draw with him about his emotions at the moment.
I would talk to school about the issue and see if they have a friendship group or similar, maybe he could befriend younger children as part of a buddy group and practice role playing being a good classmate.
If you think he would benefit from more friends then maybe try and create a few more play dates with other children.