Could do with some opinions on this please folks as its making me quite stressed and i need to give him an answer.Bear with me will try not to be too long winded!
So hes 22 and living at the other end of the Country working full time living independently, so far so good. He has decided that he wants to go to Uni to do a specific healthcare profession course but as he doesn't have A levels would need to do a foundation year as well, so 4 years study in total. Problem being he cant get a student loan for the foundation year so wants to borrow from a private student finance company (they get very mixed reviews) and would need me or DH to be the guarantor for the loan. I feel distinctly uneasy about this, as it seems to be a very sudden idea of his and he wants to start in September! It all feels a bit rushed, first i heard of it was last week! What he does with his life is up to him obviously and i dont think its a bad idea in itself, but the loan aspect is worrying me and frankly i dont want to be the guarantor for something im not convinced hes thought through properly. He also wants to come back home and live for this summer and every summer until he finishes the degree, its hard having an adult child back in the house, we've done it before with his brother and it was stressful! Dh (not ds father but has always supported him financially) is very concerned about the whole thing too.
I am inclined to say to ds that we will not agree for this year, but if he stays in his job and saves hard over the next year to show his commitment, we will be much more prepared to support him in any way he needs.
Hes going to be angry with me and will see it as me being mean I know he will. I'm dreading the conversation, so i need to ask Aibu?
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AIBU?
To say no to adult ds?
43 replies
missyB1 · 17/05/2017 12:10
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