Was DP being unreasonable? (It's a parking one!)(14 Posts)
I'm trying to come up with a calm response to what happened this morning so please help confirm if DP or our neighbour, lets call her Sheila, was.
We live in a row of terraces on a busy road so the whole road (which is quite long) is permit parking and it's always a struggle to get a spot. DP recently got a new car and the permit so came home last night and parked in the zone, about 6 houses away from ours as there were no nearer spaces.
This morning he went to get in the car and Sheila pulled up alongside him, blocking the main road (god knows how long she'd been waiting). She asked if it was his car and did he have a permit. DP said yes and that we live just a bit further down. She asked him to not park there again as it's outside her house and thus her space. He replied that he pays for his permit and so can park anywhere inside the zone, and no one else ever gets a spot right outside their house. She then got very angry and called him a fucking arsehole, even though she had her child in the back of the car. He (goady so and so) told her that was delightful language to use in front of her kids and towards him and got in his car to more shouts.
So, who was being unreasonable?
(And can I go round and read her the riot act?)
Your DH is right. But do not go around there unless you want to start WW3.
Just the next time she confronts, say you do your best to not park outside her house as a courtesy but if nowhere else is free you will, as per the permit. Stay polite but firm. She's clearly either a nutter or very stressed out and has lost the run of herself.
She was bvu. First she asked if he had a permit and then when he said he did that wasn't good enough and he had to park somewhere else for her convenience.
Tbh I think his response, giant as it was, was justified. Her kicking off was just a reflection that she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on - she can't report him because he's abiding by the law and the terms of the permit, so all she has left is name calling.
I'm not a fan of confrontation, so I'd say don't go round there, try and avoid parking outside hers if you absolutely can but not to your own detriment. Don't go out of your way to antagonise her, she sounds a bit unhinged if she goes straight to language like that in front of her kids.
Yanbu!! We're in a very similar set up to you - no one parks in front of their own home as the road is so busy it's not feasible. Like you I would be sorely tempted to go over, but in all likelihood it won't get you anywhere, she sounds unhinged. I would very passively aggressively keep parking there, but that's because I'm petty!
Our road has a mixture of houses with driveways and without. Our house doesn't have a driveway but has space for two cars to park right outside on the road. 90% of the time we get these two spaces as, due to the driveways, parking competition is not fierce.
Our NDN has a HUGE driveway, room for three cars probably. They also have a camper van parked between our houses in their side return. They can of course also park across the front of their own driveway which has a dropped kerb, if they so wish. The NDN only has one car in the whole household.
Despite this she goes absolutely nuts if anyone parks outside her house (on the bit not blocking her driveway). She has a big hedge so it's not even as though she can see the offending car from her house. She has been round to ours before when this has happened to ask if we know the culprit and to say she would never allow anyone to park in the two spaces outside our house as they are OURS (they are obviously not).
People are so so weird about parking. Your DH is of course correct.
Neighbour was being unneighbourly and U, but DP was a bit, too.
You can't giant people over parking disputes because they turn into festering nightmares, and which one of you is actually right does not affect the atmosphere you create.
Mutual communication and consideration (offered while being unequivocally assertive that you expect the same thing back) is the only way to deal with this sort of thing, if you are lucky enough to get the chance.
Thank you MN jury for calming me down. She does sound quite unhinged and negotiating could be difficult. Ive advised DP to just park at the other end of the road but the petty bit of me hates that she'll be getting what she wants after speaking to him so horribly.
I pay £100 a year for my permit, but rarely am able to park outside my own house. Doesn't give you your own parking space though, it just stops commuters filling up the road.
Ywbu to not give a diagram
Other than that she is unhinged.
My neighbour told me not to park outside her house as it blocked her light!!
We are all permits too. .
Beware tho my car has been keyed and it's tyres let down when parked outside her door. . No proof but ya know. .
I used to live in a permit parking area. Dh could rarely park outside but what made it annoying was the car that did park there didn't have a permit.
Thats what I'm worried about now flapjacks if she decides to take revenge. DP said there was space behind him to park but she insisted on "her" space. We've been here 18 months and this is the first instance of madness
She doesnt have 'a space' she gets to park on the road same as eveyone else, its not ideal but thats life.
Ignore it, unless she does anything else she isnt worth your time and energy.
She was BU. And frankly, your DH was right to call her on it. I say that as a mother of two small children who lives in a permit parking zone and can't park outside my house.
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