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Non Binary / Gender Neutral

(950 Posts)
MissBax Wed 17-May-17 08:21:21

Okay so I know this may spark some serious debate. I just want to say that I really don't want to offend ANYONE, however AIBU to say that the whole non Binary trend (for want of a better word) is getting abit out of hand??
If someone was born a man and chooses to transition to a woman or vice versa I understand that, but to say you don't identify as having a gender... I just don't understand it?! I am female but have never been girly - I didn't have dolls, I despise pink, and I always played football with the guys, climbed trees and was very sporty. But I'm still a girl. I know boys who didn't necessarily like "boyish" things but they're still boys. Any girl or boy can like anything they like.
Now we have "non binary" people who SAY they don't identify as one gender or the other, yet some of them are born female, wear make up and dresses. So following typically "girly" or "feminine" characteristics. Or those who have a sex change and THEN say they're non binary?! So then why have the sex change?!
AIBU to think this is just another way to ruffle people's feathers and possibly attention seeking?
(I wait in anticipation for being called ignorant and a biggot etc...)

Railgunner1 Wed 17-May-17 08:23:48

Relax. Its a load of bullshit

RestlessTravellerTheSequel Wed 17-May-17 08:26:07

Does it make any difference to you?

MissBax Wed 17-May-17 08:26:13

Hahaha railgunner that's how I feel to be blunt. I feel like I almost WANT to understand it but then think I'm just being lulled into some strange April fools prank.

MissBax Wed 17-May-17 08:27:12

restless - I guess we could say does ANYTHING make a difference to any of us. I just find it hard to wrap my head around.

PaintingByNumbers Wed 17-May-17 08:27:55

I am anti-gender, I have a biological sex and anyone who thinks that means I have to behave a certain way or have a certain personality can fuck off

ScarletForYa Wed 17-May-17 08:28:40

Attention seeking. No one cares.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel Wed 17-May-17 08:29:05

So because you can't get your head it you declare it's all bullshit?

AtHomeDadGlos Wed 17-May-17 08:29:32

Yes. It's a load of nonsense. Just something for the snowflakes to be obsessed with until the next issue rolls round.

MissBax Wed 17-May-17 08:29:48

Painting but does anyone think you have to behave a certain way?? As I say I don't follow gender norms or traditions like billions of other people, but why do we have to now make a thing of it? Why can't we just be a woman or man who like A,B+C and who doesn't like D,E+F??

Lottapianos Wed 17-May-17 08:31:02

You're right OP - there are many different ways to be a woman and many different ways to be a man. A woman who wears trousers and flat shoes, drinks beer and enjoys football ( or whatever other bullshit stereotypes) is still a woman. Most people would probably identify as 'non binary' as in they don't tick all or any of the stereotypes associated with being male or female

PinguForPresident Wed 17-May-17 08:32:18

Here's a crazy thought, how about you try to stop framing everything according to your world view, and listen to people who identify as non-binary? You might learn something.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel Wed 17-May-17 08:33:23

I actually thought this thread might be a good debate. It I se it's descended into bigotry rather quickly.

boopsy Wed 17-May-17 08:33:33

Did you see them on morning tv? Felt a bit sorry for them as they couldnt articulate or explain themselves properly. When Piers Morgan asked if they identified as non binary does it mean he could identify as a black woman they stumbled and could not reply, they did not come across well at all.

Wando1986 Wed 17-May-17 08:34:44

It's perpetuated by the past 3 decades of gender defining language and expectations in advertising, product placement, internet free reign and how this affects society from childhood. I'm not saying some people don't have genuine issues but the majority of the people who are identifying as a toaster, male, female, fluid or whatever are using it as an extreme way to express themselves and push boundaries, because they're confused, hurting and whatever else and latch on to something that seems like it might 'fit', rather than the way a lot of us used to by just going and getting knocked up or drunk or fat off crisps at 15/16 and whatever else was the norm.

It is ultimately a load of bollocks apart from in some genuine cases, but even those would likely be classed as a mental disorder of some sort because, well, because it is in comparison to the norm. Though that may not be right in those cases and they should just be left to 'be'. The media need to stop pandering to the online tumblrina masses spitting their dummies out because people won't refer to them by their favourite pronoun.

Tanith Wed 17-May-17 08:35:21

"Here's a crazy thought, how about you try to stop framing everything according to your world view, and listen to people who identify as non-binary? You might learn something."

I assumed that was the point of the thread?

TinyRick Wed 17-May-17 08:35:36

I do often wonder what would happen if we all woke up tomorrow and gender and its stereotype' were no longer a thing in the world.

We would have to get rid of the patriarchy first though.

I remember just a few years ago the whole 'Let Toys be Toys' and 'Pink Stinks' campaigns. And championing little boys to wear glitter and fairy dresses if that's what they liked. It was a great time and I had thought we were moving forward, but we have gone a million steps backwards.

olderthanyouthink Wed 17-May-17 08:36:47

It's feels like we are going backwards, where once we were like fuck gender stereotypes now they are being reinforced.

boopsy Wed 17-May-17 08:37:21

All this 'assigned female at birth' nonsense. They were not 'assigned' anything, doctor/parents/anyone with eyes saw their genitals and correctly observed they were female, they didn't umm and ahh and have a little think and think it would be nice to declare them a female for shits and giggles ffs.

Sandsnake Wed 17-May-17 08:37:50

I understand what you mean. To me, there are two sexes. Some people feel uncomfortable in the sex they were born in and may want to live as the other sex. They are transsexual. I think that must be incredibly tough and feel sympathy for them.

Within the two sexes you have various gender stereotypes. Many people break these and have done since the dawn of
time. Women who like football, cars, climbing trees, dressing for comfort and fancy other women. They are still as much a woman as anyone else. And there are men who like make-up, dancing, dressing prettily and other men. They are still as much men as anyone else.

I'd much prefer us to break down the ridiculous structures of gender stereotypes and say that you can be completely yourself and not lose one jot of your masculinity or femininity. I personally think that is far more progressive than having to identify outside of your birth sex as if you have to somehow explain and label your personal tastes and preferences. Although I do think that if ultimately someone wants to label themselves as 'non-binary' or 'gender fluid' to feel more comfortable it is their prerogative. I just wish we lived in a world where they didn't have to.🙂

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 17-May-17 08:39:05

Everyone needs to be special. Unique special snowflakes.

FirstShinyRobe Wed 17-May-17 08:41:26

Could any of the non-binary concept supporters define what it means to be binary? I think that would help those of us who are a bit baffled by the whole thing.

corythatwas Wed 17-May-17 08:41:26

I suppose I am old enough to remember how hard the older generation found it to wrap their heads round the concept of open homosexuality. So don't find it totally surprising that something should come up that requires a bit of mind-stretching from me.

The people who seemed to come best out of it in my youth were the ones who were the kindest and slowest to judge things they didn't understand. So I think I'll hold fire on this one.

boopsy Wed 17-May-17 08:43:42

Sandsnake i agree, if everyone was free to dress/act how they like (within law) without any raised eyebrows but just pure acceptance regardless of gender there would be no need whatsoever for trans or non binary people.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 17-May-17 08:44:57

If I was 15 today I'd probably be non binary. I'm a woman who doesn't wear make up or do stuff with my hair, but my hair is long. I'm gay. I wear clothes and shoes that are comfortable but sometimes that's skirts.

Thank fuck I'm in my thirties and am just a woman who fancies other women and doesn't care what I look like!

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