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AIBU?

Non Binary / Gender Neutral

952 replies

MissBax · 17/05/2017 08:21

Okay so I know this may spark some serious debate. I just want to say that I really don't want to offend ANYONE, however AIBU to say that the whole non Binary trend (for want of a better word) is getting abit out of hand??
If someone was born a man and chooses to transition to a woman or vice versa I understand that, but to say you don't identify as having a gender... I just don't understand it?! I am female but have never been girly - I didn't have dolls, I despise pink, and I always played football with the guys, climbed trees and was very sporty. But I'm still a girl. I know boys who didn't necessarily like "boyish" things but they're still boys. Any girl or boy can like anything they like.
Now we have "non binary" people who SAY they don't identify as one gender or the other, yet some of them are born female, wear make up and dresses. So following typically "girly" or "feminine" characteristics. Or those who have a sex change and THEN say they're non binary?! So then why have the sex change?!
AIBU to think this is just another way to ruffle people's feathers and possibly attention seeking?
(I wait in anticipation for being called ignorant and a biggot etc...)

OP posts:
Railgunner1 · 17/05/2017 08:23

Relax. Its a load of bullshit

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 17/05/2017 08:26

Does it make any difference to you?

MissBax · 17/05/2017 08:26

Hahaha railgunner that's how I feel to be blunt. I feel like I almost WANT to understand it but then think I'm just being lulled into some strange April fools prank.

OP posts:
MissBax · 17/05/2017 08:27

restless - I guess we could say does ANYTHING make a difference to any of us. I just find it hard to wrap my head around.

OP posts:
PaintingByNumbers · 17/05/2017 08:27

I am anti-gender, I have a biological sex and anyone who thinks that means I have to behave a certain way or have a certain personality can fuck off

ScarletForYa · 17/05/2017 08:28

Attention seeking. No one cares.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 17/05/2017 08:29

So because you can't get your head it you declare it's all bullshit?

AtHomeDadGlos · 17/05/2017 08:29

Yes. It's a load of nonsense. Just something for the snowflakes to be obsessed with until the next issue rolls round.

MissBax · 17/05/2017 08:29

Painting but does anyone think you have to behave a certain way?? As I say I don't follow gender norms or traditions like billions of other people, but why do we have to now make a thing of it? Why can't we just be a woman or man who like A,B+C and who doesn't like D,E+F??

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 17/05/2017 08:31

You're right OP - there are many different ways to be a woman and many different ways to be a man. A woman who wears trousers and flat shoes, drinks beer and enjoys football ( or whatever other bullshit stereotypes) is still a woman. Most people would probably identify as 'non binary' as in they don't tick all or any of the stereotypes associated with being male or female

PinguForPresident · 17/05/2017 08:32

Here's a crazy thought, how about you try to stop framing everything according to your world view, and listen to people who identify as non-binary? You might learn something.

RestlessTravellerTheSequel · 17/05/2017 08:33

I actually thought this thread might be a good debate. It I se it's descended into bigotry rather quickly.

user838383 · 17/05/2017 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wando1986 · 17/05/2017 08:34

It's perpetuated by the past 3 decades of gender defining language and expectations in advertising, product placement, internet free reign and how this affects society from childhood. I'm not saying some people don't have genuine issues but the majority of the people who are identifying as a toaster, male, female, fluid or whatever are using it as an extreme way to express themselves and push boundaries, because they're confused, hurting and whatever else and latch on to something that seems like it might 'fit', rather than the way a lot of us used to by just going and getting knocked up or drunk or fat off crisps at 15/16 and whatever else was the norm.

It is ultimately a load of bollocks apart from in some genuine cases, but even those would likely be classed as a mental disorder of some sort because, well, because it is in comparison to the norm. Though that may not be right in those cases and they should just be left to 'be'. The media need to stop pandering to the online tumblrina masses spitting their dummies out because people won't refer to them by their favourite pronoun.

Tanith · 17/05/2017 08:35

"Here's a crazy thought, how about you try to stop framing everything according to your world view, and listen to people who identify as non-binary? You might learn something."

I assumed that was the point of the thread?

TinyRick · 17/05/2017 08:35

I do often wonder what would happen if we all woke up tomorrow and gender and its stereotype' were no longer a thing in the world.

We would have to get rid of the patriarchy first though.

I remember just a few years ago the whole 'Let Toys be Toys' and 'Pink Stinks' campaigns. And championing little boys to wear glitter and fairy dresses if that's what they liked. It was a great time and I had thought we were moving forward, but we have gone a million steps backwards.

olderthanyouthink · 17/05/2017 08:36

It's feels like we are going backwards, where once we were like fuck gender stereotypes now they are being reinforced.

user838383 · 17/05/2017 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sandsnake · 17/05/2017 08:37

I understand what you mean. To me, there are two sexes. Some people feel uncomfortable in the sex they were born in and may want to live as the other sex. They are transsexual. I think that must be incredibly tough and feel sympathy for them.

Within the two sexes you have various gender stereotypes. Many people break these and have done since the dawn of
time. Women who like football, cars, climbing trees, dressing for comfort and fancy other women. They are still as much a woman as anyone else. And there are men who like make-up, dancing, dressing prettily and other men. They are still as much men as anyone else.

I'd much prefer us to break down the ridiculous structures of gender stereotypes and say that you can be completely yourself and not lose one jot of your masculinity or femininity. I personally think that is far more progressive than having to identify outside of your birth sex as if you have to somehow explain and label your personal tastes and preferences. Although I do think that if ultimately someone wants to label themselves as 'non-binary' or 'gender fluid' to feel more comfortable it is their prerogative. I just wish we lived in a world where they didn't have to.🙂

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/05/2017 08:39

Everyone needs to be special. Unique special snowflakes.

FirstShinyRobe · 17/05/2017 08:41

Could any of the non-binary concept supporters define what it means to be binary? I think that would help those of us who are a bit baffled by the whole thing.

corythatwas · 17/05/2017 08:41

I suppose I am old enough to remember how hard the older generation found it to wrap their heads round the concept of open homosexuality. So don't find it totally surprising that something should come up that requires a bit of mind-stretching from me.

The people who seemed to come best out of it in my youth were the ones who were the kindest and slowest to judge things they didn't understand. So I think I'll hold fire on this one.

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user838383 · 17/05/2017 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe · 17/05/2017 08:44

If I was 15 today I'd probably be non binary. I'm a woman who doesn't wear make up or do stuff with my hair, but my hair is long. I'm gay. I wear clothes and shoes that are comfortable but sometimes that's skirts.

Thank fuck I'm in my thirties and am just a woman who fancies other women and doesn't care what I look like!

JudeeLevinson · 17/05/2017 08:46

I really can't get worked up over any of this, I couldn't give a creamy crap what gender people identify with, what personal pronoun they use for themselves, what their bits look like or where and into whom they stick them.

I care if they are a good person, bottom line. I think a lot of people are struggling with gender and sexuality issues and I am not living their life. I will call them what they ask me to call them and don't ask questions. Mostly because I am not that interested and it is not one of the issues I have to deal with. I'm not all up in anyone's faces about my gender identification or sex life and I don't expect it from anyone else, with due respect given for their preferences and rights.

I think a lot of this is spin by the media to cause a divide where none exists.

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