To leave my job

[Mammylamb]

I've been in the same job around 13 years, and over the years I've had various mental health issues which I think have been caused by stress and anxiety at work.

I've now got to a stage where I feel sick and panicky every day before work.

Having discussed this with my husband we were thinking of me giving up my fairly well paid job and finding a low paid job in the evenings (this would give me the daytime to spend with my son)

What I'm concerned about is if we will be ok for money. After all bills are paid we'll bhave left with £700 a month to pay for food and everything else. In the house we have dh and I, ds(20 months) and a dog.

Has anyone else did anything similar? Do you think I'm being unreasonable giving up a fairly well paid job? Is £700 a month doable?

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

Would that be savings and holidays etc?

How much do you currently spend on food?

[Mammylamb]

About 70 per week; though we could probably cut that down. But yeah, that would need to cover savings (forget holidays for a while). We have a wee bit of savings to fall back on if necessary

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

It seems quite tight. What if you had another DC?

[Mammylamb]

Yeah, it is quite tight. But honestly think I'm going to go nuts in this job. No plans for another child !

[JudeeLevinson]

So the £700 is what you would have from your DH's income if you gave up your job (i.e., not taking into account the money you would have from the lower-paid job). So anything you make in the evenings would be extra to this £700?

[MoodyOne]

I think your Health is worth it!
You'll be abit skint for a little while but in the long run you will be happy / healthy and that is worth so much more than money x

[Mammylamb]

The £700 would be including my estimated income from part time work!

[JudeeLevinson]

Ok, well that is tight but not undoable. That's about the margins we have with DS and no dog. It's not great but we have what we need. It's a little bit vulnerable as you would not be able to save but no job is worth your health, ever ever. You may even find you could shave down non-essentials further, or you could list one or two items on eBay every week which shouldn't be too hard to do even with a small DC. It is amazing how much money is locked up in things around the house that you don't need. My advice to you, go charity shopping for decent curtains. Can pick up a pair for £10 and sell them for £90, this is what I regularly do. Boosts my income a bit. Ditto clothing for plus-size women, if you see an amazing dress at low cost with a good high street label in a size 22 you are on to a winner, I assure you.

I say go for it.

[GloriaV]

Check that it is your work that is the problem before you resign.

I had anxiety attacks but it stemmed from stuff in my childhood which I had convinced myself was irrelevant.
I had to go to counselling for that. And is guilt at leaving your DS influencing the decision? Could you reduce hours.

[TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince]

I think being skint brings its own anxiety issues.

[unapaloma]

Maybe find a list on the net of costs for a family, and work thru it? It all depends a bit what you included in 'bills', and I'd be a bit worried I'd missed something.

But if you'd like to spend the days with your DC I would work to find a way to do it- that's the one thing you can't do later :-).

[Mammylamb]

To be fair, I've had anxiety and OCD since being a child. I've been to a psychologist and was treated in the past. But he did warn me that there was a high possibility of it reoccurring. It's always been about work or school that I have been anxious; high pressure and uncertainty just make it really bad. And yes, I do feel guilty about leaving DS every day

[JudeeLevinson]

It does Emoji, that's for sure but like the OP I left a full time job for a part time one earning only £700 a month now, because I loathed it and all the people in it, and I will take money worries over that any day of the week. I am always skint but I am fairly zen about it theee days. Something always comes up to save my bacon. Like a pair of shoes I bought for £5 and sold for £25 on eBay last night. I use my part time income to generate a second income on eBay and earn about £1000 a month.

There are ways. Do you have a skill that you could sell, OP?

[Mammylamb]

Not really; apart from admin and project management (while lucrative, I find it unbelievably stressful). I imagine folk must survive on less than £700 after bills. Part of my reluctance is also what other people would think of me giving up a good job to go to a minimum wage job.

[LovelyBath77]

I think you could do it. Don't worry about what other's think. (they might be jealous). And in future it might be possible to do a bit more of the part time work. Or pick up a Saturday job or something simple as well.

[Happyfeet1972]

Financially I think it's doable. However i have never been more depressed when I was in a low paid unskilled job so do bare that in mind. It can be soul destroying to be somewhere you are under valued or bored particularly if you're in a challenging job now. So maybe look at a step down but not a significant step down?

Likewise it can be pretty depressing to not have much money too. It doesn't sound like you'd be able to afford many treats or holidays, ie those things that keep us going to make work worthwhile.

So, yes I think it's doable but make sure it's absolutely what you want first.. or rule out options for a balance between the two.

[Happyfeet1972]

Could you go part time in your current role? Would that help? Or try and change employer...if it's the employer rather than the work that's the problem?

[AntiHop]

Do you own your home? If so could you remortgage to lower your costs? Extend the term of your mortgage? Can you get a lower interest rate?

Be wary of night shifts which can be tricky for some people with mental health problems.

[FelixtheMouse]

I think there's a real possibility of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Work may make you feel crap, but not having enough to live comfortably on, may well make you feel worse. I'd look for another job, but on the figures you quote, and with a aDC, I wouldn't just quit.

[Allthewaves]

Could u look at pt work in your field or related field that uses your skills. I found once I went pt lots of the stress was removed as my life didn't evolve around work every day

[felinewonderful]

I think you should do it. £700 per month is perfectly fine to live on in my opinion. It depends on your current lifestyle how much of a change this will be but you might be much happier with less stress

[Mammylamb]

Some really good points here. Especially around whether working at night is really the most suitable for someone with mh issues. WIll need to really think about some sort of change because I am struggling a lot. I'm already part time (4 days a week) but I check and reply to email a lot on my days off so I don't really get the mental headspace

[HildaOg]

Honestly there's nothing more stressful or anxiety inducing than being broke. When you're scrimping without end you'll realise that you didn't know that bone crushing misery existed...

How about finding a different job? Moving into a different role? Looking at educational opportunities that allow you to move up and out... Anything but poverty.

[felinewonderful]

Is £700 per month to live on really classed as poverty?!

[Pollydonia]

Put your health above money ( got the t-shirt)