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AIBU to live apart from partner to be financially better off?

(176 Posts)
Sunshineroses90 Tue 16-May-17 22:49:00

I currently live with my partner, I'm planning on coming out of work to raise our child. This is partly due to ridiculous childcare costs I'd be £200+ per month out of pocket and I down to the fact I'm the lowest earner out of myself and my partner so it makes more sense for me to lose my wage as opposed to him.

We've been discussing tonight him going back to live with his parents/grandmother in order for me to have a better income and to be entitled to more benefits, we want to prevent living off the bones of our backsides his wage wouldn't cover us and bills (he earns £1000-1200 per month). We wouldn't qualify for much if we put a joint claim in hence wanting to live apart. Is this wrong? All of our family members work full time so nobody to rely on to babysit our child.

NellieFiveBellies Tue 16-May-17 22:50:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

angelcakesrule Tue 16-May-17 22:50:21


grounddown Tue 16-May-17 22:51:00

Um....I'm pretty sure that's fraud.

MovingtoParadise Tue 16-May-17 22:51:11

Yes it's wrong. It's a loophole. You're still intending to be a family.

How you going to explain to your child that daddy doesn't stay overnight? But that you're still in love/a couple?

MovingtoParadise Tue 16-May-17 22:51:58

Why isn't he working full time?

Cocklodger Tue 16-May-17 22:52:26

Er, no.
Either break up or don't, don't commit fraud hmm

kali110 Tue 16-May-17 22:52:36

Yes it's wrong!

grounddown Tue 16-May-17 22:53:03

Leave benefits to people who need them, not just because you can't afford childcare.
I'm shocked you would post this.

Whack Tue 16-May-17 22:53:10

Surely it's not fraud though if OP's partner actually does move out?

Have you checked what you would be entitled to in both scenarios OP? What's the financial difference?

AyeAmarok Tue 16-May-17 22:53:31


StickThatInYourPipe Tue 16-May-17 22:53:40

Ffs it's fraud and I hope if you do this you get caught quickly. It's not the tax payers responsibility for your 'right' to have children.

Benefits should be there for people who actually need them

grounddown Tue 16-May-17 22:54:51
If you are a low income family you will get some benefits.

Crunchymum Tue 16-May-17 22:55:18

Did the OP say her DP was part time?

AyeAmarok Tue 16-May-17 22:55:23

Your DP earns £1000 a month, and you earned even less than that?

Do neither of you work full time?

How were you expecting to support yourselves when you decided to have a baby?

Hotpinkangel19 Tue 16-May-17 22:55:32

People who do this should be ashamed. It's the child/children that suffer in this.

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Tue 16-May-17 22:55:35

I think having Daddy at home and spending time with him is hugely important for your child, and so I would explore all other options first. And I imagine your relationship will suffer if he moves out.

MovingtoParadise Tue 16-May-17 22:56:15

Must be part time, that's not a full time minimum wage job unless he's 16. hmm

19lottie82 Tue 16-May-17 22:57:32

It's not fraud if he actually moves out. But is it the right thing to do? No.

DonkeyOaty Tue 16-May-17 22:57:42

What's your relationship like at the moment?

TreeTop7 Tue 16-May-17 22:58:36

Be careful. If you got caught you'd be in serious trouble.

Can your OH increase his hours?

Lostthefairytale Tue 16-May-17 22:58:39

Have you checked the tax credits calculator? If your wages are so low that you'd be losing out by working the tax credits may cover quite a bit of the child care costs.

TheHyacinthGirl Tue 16-May-17 22:59:07

That's a full time salary on minimum wage, after tax.
I know it can be hard to believe when you earn more than that, but it is.

StickThatInYourPipe Tue 16-May-17 22:59:21

19lottie82 well I'm imagining they aren't going to go and tell the council that this is the plan. They will probably say they have split up. Lying to them to get money is fraud.

MovingtoParadise Tue 16-May-17 22:59:48

Did anyone see that thread the other day about people posting inflammatory threads to make people vote the direction they wanted to?

So on that note, and just for balance you understand. There's very few people who do what the OP is suggesting, in fact millions of pounds of benefits go unclaimed every year.

Benefit fraud makes up a tiny percentage of GDP. Less than what goes unclaimed by people who actually deserve it.

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