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I don't want my ds to be a page boy

(37 Posts)
Caramelbutthorn Tue 16-May-17 21:47:59

I know I'm going to sound ridiculous but here goes... I hate my brother. He's getting married some point soon. My mum has already said that twat features (my bro) will want my 4 yr old ds to be a page boy. I know my ds will not want to wear the outfit and certainly won't want to go into the church (when it was my grandfather's funeral last year he went into the church before anyone turned up and ran out as he didn't like it and refused to go back in). I don't want to force my ds to wear something he won't want to wear and go into a building he won't like. Aibu to refuse my brother and mothers request to have him as a page boy? Thank you

Bonesy1 Tue 16-May-17 21:49:55

Of course, if your son would be uncomfortable then he shouldn't do it

EC22 Tue 16-May-17 21:52:42

You don't want him to do it the clothes/church stuff sounds like nonsense to me. He'd be going to the church if he wasn't a page boy and I assume be wearing something smart that you say he wouldn't like.

Your excuses sounds spiteful.

Reow Tue 16-May-17 21:53:57

If DS wouldn't enjoy it and you're not keen then of course you can say no.

StillDrivingMeBonkers Tue 16-May-17 21:54:32

If you hate him, does he hate you?
You assume you're being invited?

GeillisTheWitch Tue 16-May-17 21:55:03

The stuff about him not liking the church building is weird and precious but I wouldn't be going to the wedding of someone I hated at all, brother or not.

TheMysteriousJackelope Tue 16-May-17 21:55:08

YANBU. Your DS is just at the age where he is likely to make his opinions very clearly heard during the service too, so just for consideration of the bride I'd politely decline.

I think you and your DS would probably enjoy the story in Just William where William is supposed to be a pageboy (in a white satin suit made out of a petticoat no less). He manages to thwart things by encouraging a young cousin to make a horrible mess with oranges and butter and then 'accidentally' sitting down in it in his suit.

Witchend Tue 16-May-17 21:56:19

I think your dislike of your brother is going to be very clear with those excuses. You haven't even been told what they want him to wear, and surely he'd be going to the church anyway.

CainDinglesLeatherJacket Tue 16-May-17 21:58:33

I assume you also mean that you and your son won't attend since he feels uncomfortable at the church? If you're not going at all, then it's not unreasonable, I'd say. If you still go, you'll look spiteful.

NavyandWhite Tue 16-May-17 21:59:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverdaleGlen Tue 16-May-17 21:59:20

Your excuses are crap, he's 4, make him hmm

Having said that don't let him be a part of someone's day that you clearly despise, why would he even ask or are you dishonest about your hatred?

BarbarianMum Tue 16-May-17 22:00:36

Fine but then i take it you won't be taking him to the wedding at all. What with him hating the church and all.

blackcatlover Tue 16-May-17 22:01:13

YANBU why should you hire out your kids as wedding props? Just say DS doesn't want to/doesn't understand.

LagunaBubbles Tue 16-May-17 22:03:18

Look don't go if you "hate" your brother that much. But don't come out with stupid excuses about your 4 year old not liking the church.

ifcatscouldtalk Tue 16-May-17 22:04:40

I'd wait to see if your brother asks first. Your mum may be jumping the gun and assuming that is what he wants. People can get very carried away with other people's weddings (personal experience).

Goldfishjane Tue 16-May-17 22:08:09

Yanbu at all.

buttercup54321 Tue 16-May-17 22:09:17

you sound pathetic. He shouldn't have been running around at a funeral anyway. Teach him some respect. Also why would you even go to the wedding if you hate your brother that much and why would he invite you or want your kid to be part of it, A lot of immature behaviour going on imo.

MuvaWifey77 Tue 16-May-17 22:11:10

Sounds like it's you who doesn't want it. Mention it to your son,ask him, see his reaction, if it's really what you say then you know what to do . Right now you sound petty and unresonable. I am not assuming that's who u are OP, just saying how it sounds to me. Good luck

Misswiggy Tue 16-May-17 22:12:53

You don't have to go to the wedding of the brother you hate, nor force your boy to wear a naff outfit and be all solemn in a stuffy church..

However, the photos from said wedding will provide you and your (if u have one) partner with much mirth and blackmail material (especially with the threat of putting on social media) all through the child's teenage years.

I have several copies of similar material which I use to threaten my ds17 for all manner of things grin - of course I would never actually go through with it.....(she says whilst awaiting A'level results)...

Dawnedlightly Tue 16-May-17 22:14:11

Tell your mum you really don't want him to be a page boy- I bet she's trying to broker a closer relationship between you and your brother and this is her clumsy way of doing it.
But mainly- chill! He's not engaged and you haven't been asked.
And also that's a feeble excuse re not going into a church! Is your son Damian?

jarhead123 Tue 16-May-17 22:15:58

The clothing excuse is a bit off. Surely you don't want to pander to him and he should learn we sometimes have to do things or wear thinhs we don't like etc

I'd just admit to your mum it's because of the relationship you have with your brother

Starlight2345 Tue 16-May-17 22:16:31

My DS was a page boy at 4. He loved it..He wore suit , tie elastic round the neck..

Does your DS know Dbro?

Iggi999 Tue 16-May-17 22:17:34

I'm not sure if it's the OP or the OP's son who is 4.

Mum2jenny Tue 16-May-17 22:17:35

You don't like your brother- ok, your son doesn't like the venue -ok, so your response is the date isn't suitable as I've got a prior agreement (or if you're truthful, say not a fucking chance as my Ds hates the church and won't wear the outfit).

Good luck with the outcome as I'm guessing it won't be pretty!

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 16-May-17 22:17:49

Why doesn't he like going to Church.
With much respect. I'm imagining the scene in the Omen where little Damien sees a church and freeks out

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