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To tell a senior colleague to bore off?

(14 Posts)
Frillyhorseyknickers Tue 16-May-17 21:00:20

I work in a professional environment at a senior level and I am head of my department of 14 fee earners and six support staff - we all get on well with a busy work load.

I'm organising an event at the moment with a more senior colleague who is based in another office, as it is "my" area, the invitations are being sent from "my" office, using "my" secretary as point of contact for RSVP.

The secretary in question is invaluable to me, she does a lot of my support work and she is worth her weight in gold. She has a fairly ordinary name but spells it differently,( I have changed the name to prevent outing myself) so instead of Becky, it is spelt Beckeh.

I've never given this a second thought - it's her name. My fairly stuffy, old school red-cheeks-and-mustard-cords, dickhead colleague (reading between the lines, in not so many words) thinks this is common and fairly awful and absolutely not to be associated with the firm we work for.

He suggested today (via email) that I "use the proper spelling" on the RSVP and blame the "error" on the printers. I can see his point, the spelling looks unprofessional. But AIBU to tell him to sod off? Not only because it isn't fair on her, but also the reputable local printers who have never fucked up any of our publications.

I haven't responded to his email yet but the more I mull over things, the more I think this is a fucking outrageous request.

QueenMortificado Tue 16-May-17 21:01:45

That is fucking outrageous

Respond with "thanks but the correct spelling is Beckeh, please use this on the invitation"

PovertyJetset Tue 16-May-17 21:04:40

This ^

What a old prig!

AlwaysTheWinner Tue 16-May-17 21:14:26

That's ridiculous. I know whose name I would be spelling wrong on the invitation /event information and it wouldn't be the secretary's!

LockedOutOfMN Tue 16-May-17 21:15:22

Agree with QueenMortificado.

Astro55 Tue 16-May-17 21:16:45

Tell him no!

Or compromise on Ms B Smith

NoSquirrels Tue 16-May-17 21:21:05


If your colleague's name is spelled a particular way, it is her name. Presumably her email is set up to that spelling, and she uses it as a signature on emails she responds to, so how would confusing matters help anyone to look more professional?

He needs to shut up. Bet he'd be unhappy if someone arbitrarily took a dislike to his name and called him something else.

Arkhamasylum Tue 16-May-17 21:21:08

The proper spelling is her actual name. Tell him to sod off. Or tell him she sent it to the printers and they queried the spelling with her. But really, just tell him to sod off.

KnittedBlanketHoles Tue 16-May-17 21:22:22

Who would even contemplate changing someone else's name because of embarrassment over its spelling?

Cockadoodle Tue 16-May-17 21:23:08

How rude! It's not like it's spelled "youragiantcock" pronounced Jane!

NoSquirrels Tue 16-May-17 21:29:10

Either his office can deal with the RSVPs and associated administration and organisation (& he can explain to his secretary why he's landed them with a shitload more work) or he can butt out.

Perhaps a reply along the lines of

"But the correct spelling of her name is Beckeh, as her ID documents etc, so I'm rather confused why we'd make an arbitrary change and then lie about it? Much better surely just not to make an issue of a small detail like this as Beckeh is extremely good at her job and I'd hate there to be any misunderstanding about how we value her contributions."

MrsNuckyThompson Tue 16-May-17 21:31:51


And be careful what you put in the email reply as she may see it! So don't put 'I understand what you mean as it's quite common but we're stuck with it'. If she's your PA doesn't she have access to your emails.

And btw it wouldn't occur to me to care as an invitee.

ScarlettFreestone Tue 16-May-17 21:31:53

You are right, it's outrageous. And I'd tell him so.

Her unusual spelling is not "unprofessional" it's just her name. No one will even think twice about it.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 16-May-17 21:33:56

Lol OP, do you work in law? Mustard trousers is obviously a giant cock and should be ignored at all costs grin

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