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Mediation and contact

(1 Post)
user1463172942 Tue 16-May-17 19:59:01

Posting here for traffic.

STBXH and I are about to go to mediation re children and finances as part of divorce. He has been rubbish re contact so far. He wants to see them 2-3 times per week for about an hour, but not at times where he would need to do tea, bedtime etc. On the year we have been separated he was supposed to have them overnight once, but left them with his mum who they don't know well which upset them all, especially youngest who is only 3. If I try to insist on a routine he says I'm stopping him being a father to his kids.

He has refused to see the mediator and is only now cooperating under threat of me making a CMS claim. He is a self employed taxi driver and his accounting is creative, to say the least hmm, he doesn't want anyone like HMRC going through his finances.

He insists that at no point can he ever have the dc in a fri or sat night because it will affect his earnings, I work full time, have the kids 90% of the time and feel I need an occasional weekend off to be able to function as a mum and at work. I have nobody to babysit. I also feel this would be better quality time for the kids as they would not be rushing off to school the next day.

I have offered to let him not pay maintenance if he has the dc sat-Sun one weekend per month to compensate for lost earnings. Due to his creative accounting he would only have to pay £140 pm in total For 3 kids anyway, I value a bit of downtime more.

Do you think the mediators will support me in this? He insists he wants contact but he's only prepared for if to be when it suits him. With no consideration for what suits the dc or me.

Had anyone had similar?

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