Advanced search

Should I ask why this guy is mad at me?

(57 Posts)
AteRiri Tue 16-May-17 10:55:30

We have a group project in uni, and during a Skype discussion, I raised a point that was contrary to what this other guy was saying. My other groupmates agreed with me, and the guy basically became silent the remainder of the meeting.

I thought nothing of it, and then this afternoon, during another meeting (face-to-face) he was throwing major shade at me.

I can only trace it back to me contradicting him because I don't have any other contact with him other than at school.

Do I ask him why he's mad at me? Would you?

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher Tue 16-May-17 10:59:55

What's major shade?

Anyway were you rude or patronising? Did you make him look stupid or was it just a proper discussion and you putting a different view.

If the first you might need to mend fences if it's the second hes a sulky arse who probably doesn't like women disagreeing with him.

See how it goes

harderandharder2breathe Tue 16-May-17 11:04:21

You're both being childish

Let it go, get on with the project, be civil to him

AteRiri Tue 16-May-17 11:06:50

Anyway were you rude or patronising? Did you make him look stupid or was it just a proper discussion and you putting a different view.

It was a proper discussion, so we (the group) were all very surprised that he suddenly became quiet - we thought he was disconnected!

be civil to him

I was. He was the one who looked and acted really pissed at me.

MumIsRunningAMarathon Tue 16-May-17 11:09:20

You stole his thunder op, simple as that!

AteRiri Tue 16-May-17 11:09:53

Basically he wanted us to focus on something that's not really important, and I pointed it out and suggested an alternative. The other groupmates agreed with me.

Then this afternoon, he brought it up again, and I explained my point again. The other group members agreed with me again. He kept insisting his point and he sounded very pissed off.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 16-May-17 11:14:01

You already know why he's pissed off, your view was thought of as a better suggestion and others agreed with you.

Stay civil and get on with the project, it's up to him to stop sulking.

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher Tue 16-May-17 11:15:41

It does seem like it's you two that are leading the discussions though. What about the others setting the agenda?

SymbollocksInteractionism Tue 16-May-17 11:16:19

You disagreed with him, that is all.
Male entitlement, ignore him.

ChicRock Tue 16-May-17 11:24:03

Wtf is "throwing major shade"?

Let him sulk, stay polite and civil. No acknowledgement of his sulk or drama required.

littlefurrysheep Tue 16-May-17 11:25:24

you know why he's pissed off. he sounds like an insecure little man child. give him a biscuit and crack on.

diddl Tue 16-May-17 11:28:40

You know why he's pissed off.

"Throwing major shade"??!!

Every day's a uni school day.

CruCru Tue 16-May-17 11:33:16

"Throwing shade" means to be unpleasant to someone in a way that makes it obvious that the person being unpleasant is the one who is at fault.

user1477249785 Tue 16-May-17 11:36:10

OP you do not need this guy to like you and you do not need to be the peace maker in this situation. You did nothing wrong - he is obviously not used to being disagreed with. This is his issue. Move on, be civil but don't feel the need to try and 'fix' this.

Figaro2017 Tue 16-May-17 11:38:26

Male entitlement? Man child?

No, just a knob who happens to be a man.

BorpBorpBorp Tue 16-May-17 11:40:25

Goodness, no. Ignore his ridiculousness. If he wants to sulk it's up to him, you get on with the project.

NotMyPenguin Tue 16-May-17 11:43:22

I would ignore it. Women are often taught to take on the 'emotional labour' of a relationship or group, but it really isn't your job to walk him through the process of learning how to disagree politely with other people and still have a good relationship. Leave it to him. It sounds like you did nothing wrong but that he hasn't yet learned how to deal with conflict constructively.

laureywilliams Tue 16-May-17 11:43:41

Never heard 'throwing shade' but it's immediately obvious what it means and I love it! There's a mum in the playground who throws me major shade. I ignore it. It does feel awkward at times but she's the one who looks stupid.

How is the op being childish?

ITooHaveBeenThere Tue 16-May-17 11:47:59

You're a woman. You're not supposed to disagree with the man.

In some cases, it's a simple as that.

BluePeppers Tue 16-May-17 11:50:27

Ignore and carry in with the work that the WHOLE group has agreed to.

YY to male entitlement. He us probably unused to have a woman being to,d she is right and he isn't.
Hell get over it.

WimbledonMum1 Tue 16-May-17 11:59:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hoddtastic Tue 16-May-17 12:06:47

how old are you?

Ceto Tue 16-May-17 12:12:51

Clearly OP isn't being childish and it's incorrect to accuse her of that. However, it's correct that there is no need to ask this man why he's having a strop, the reasons are very obvious.

user1477249785 Tue 16-May-17 12:16:38

Why on earth does it matter how old she is??

FindoGask Tue 16-May-17 12:22:12

"Never heard 'throwing shade' but it's immediately obvious what it means and I love it!"

Same. Can't people guess what things mean by the context? Or do you need dictionary definitions for every unfamiliar phrase?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now