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To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

(345 Posts)
mynotsohumbleopinion Tue 16-May-17 07:09:43

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

mynotsohumbleopinion Tue 16-May-17 07:11:21

For some reason there seems to be some
Strike throughs in my post that I didn't mean to make!

00100001 Tue 16-May-17 07:12:12

That is bananas.

Have you spoken to her about it?

TheKrakenSmith Tue 16-May-17 07:13:54

My sisters ended up being amount that amount. Plus similar for a stag for my DH. I didn't have one, and it honestly wrecked my relationship with my sister.

Iamastonished Tue 16-May-17 07:14:41

Have others complained about the costs? You could all dig your heels in and refuse to do some of the more expensive stuff. Quite frankly I wouldn't care if it upset the MOH because she has been taking the piss.

Iamastonished Tue 16-May-17 07:15:31

"I didn't have one, and it honestly wrecked my relationship with my sister."

Just because you didn't have a hen do? hmm

Chloe84 Tue 16-May-17 07:15:34


Bow out now! Use the flights for a holiday!

PovertyJetset Tue 16-May-17 07:16:40

That sounds awful!! And believe me you'll spend WAY more than that where you're going.

kraken what happened to you?

Kennethnoisewater Tue 16-May-17 07:17:09

If this is biza, you're going to be looking at a lot more than £700! I've travelled all over the world but the food and drink prices in Ibiza made my eyes water, £12 for a coke anyone?

Rossigigi Tue 16-May-17 07:21:02

Agree with others if it's Ibiza you will spend way way more!

icanteven Tue 16-May-17 07:21:19

Don't fall for the sunk costs fallacy. Just because you have already paid £700 does NOT mean that you have to actually go and spend another £300.

I would be inclined to pull out, change the flights to another date and make it crystal clear to her that you were able to afford £450 for a "cheap weekend in Europe" but that more than £1000 (as it will clearly be) is far too much for you and that you're not going. Don't make up some other excuse. Be clear that it's about the money.

Sunk Costs Fallacy:

The Misconception: You make rational decisions based on the future value of objects, investments and experiences.

The Truth: Your decisions are tainted by the emotional investments you accumulate, and the more you invest in something the harder it becomes to abandon it.

Blimey01 Tue 16-May-17 07:24:43

Sounds similar to one I went on.
It cost a lot of money for everyone to be there. The first night we went to some swanky, expensive bar. The hen moaned to me that she had to buy her own drink and everyone else should have chipped in hmm
When it came to paying for the meal she sat there not offering to pay her share untill someone suggested we pay for her aswell. That's fine but it was her expectation that took the biscuit.
It does sound ridiculous there any way of speaking to the organiser about the spiralling costs. Couldn't one night be spent having drinks and dinner at the nice villa your all paying for?

Jaimx86 Tue 16-May-17 07:25:53

Came on to echo Kenneth.

If it's Ibiza, you'll need a lot of spending money. I suspect you may be referring to Mambos and Ocean Beach? Depending where your table is reserved at Mambo, there is a minimum spend per person of €70-150. If you're going to Ocean Beach, have you got beds reserved? You can get drinks packages, but the cover charge on each bed won't go far if you're in a big group. DP and I spent the €300 cover charge between us last year and we didn't get drunk - lunch and light dinner took a lot of the money up.
Do some research and ensure MOH is getting the best packages.
Will you also be expected to attend a 'local' hen do?

Kennethnoisewater Tue 16-May-17 07:27:42

Sounds like the MOH is planning her own holiday rather than taking the wishes of the group into account!

Jaimx86 Tue 16-May-17 07:28:59

Or Ushuaia? Don't even bother drinking there - make it a sober night. €14 for vile wine in a plastic beaker with ice in it.

Rainbowqueeen Tue 16-May-17 07:29:24

Yes you win!

Pull out now, lots of,others willand the costs will spiral. How close a friend is the bride?

LedaP Tue 16-May-17 07:29:26

This is why me and my dh declined dbro and sils hen/stag dos.

The wedding ended up following a similar vein and cost us over £1000 to attend the actual wedding, when you included the accomdation that we hsd to have because they had signes up to get a discount bssed on how many rooms their guests took. It was in the middle of nowhere so hsd to stay 2 nights.

If we had gone on the 'dos' it eould have been over £3000 for us as a couple.

Jessesbitch Tue 16-May-17 07:31:57

Has she actually paid for airbnb? I had a similar thing due to others wanting a villa. One girl booked a fake villa and lost £1500. I booked a hotel via in the end. Central and only £190 each for long weekend. Was really nice. Villas are expensive.

PovertyJetset Tue 16-May-17 07:42:43

I would also pull out now and recoup my flight cost and wave bye bye to the £200 that you've already spent.

mynotsohumbleopinion Tue 16-May-17 07:44:19

Thanks for the messages.

You're all right about the place. And the correct club has been mentioned. I know it's super expensive but I had expected perhaps Pre drinking following a trip to a local shop etc rather than all these beach clubs and restaurants etc.

Problem is that the bride and MOH are both loaded and very flash. They are each other's MOHs and I just get the impression it's competitive in some way.

I have already refused to chip in for brides lunch as I think this is way too far given that we are already holidaying in her honour and I won't be going to the second club on Saturday. I will also have to be sober the entire time by the sound of it. Sigh...

sparklefarts Tue 16-May-17 07:46:37

Should have asked but who on earth would think to?!

Erm me. I can't believe you didn't ask to confirm what this covered to be honest confused no way would I just dish out money not knowing what the total would be. Bonkers.

GU24Mum Tue 16-May-17 07:47:04

I agree with the others - if you don't want to spend any more money, just write off (galling though that will be.....) and tell the MOH that you thought the £450 was for everything. It's one thing to pay for the hen when you are out for dinner at a local town but another when everyone has paid hundreds for a weekend away.

gren Tue 16-May-17 07:53:08

Hen dos are mental.

What happens to people where they suddenly think their friends and family can suddenly conjure up ££££

McTufty Tue 16-May-17 07:55:37

I went to a hen do in Ibiza a few years ago and even though the flights and accommodation were 'only' about £350, I still spent near enough £1000. It's extortionate there.

The MOH made much of having got us free entry to Blue Marlin but didn't mention the €2000 minimum spend on the beds.

Worst, we couldn't just order our own drinks because everyone was chipping in equally for the minimum spend, so it was felt that it would be unfair if some got more expensive drinks. So the MOH ordered the drinks for everyone. Vodka. I don't fucking drink vodka.

Ultimately I am very lucky in that I could afford it, and I love the Bride so was happy to support her, but it was extravagant and I feel your pain.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Tue 16-May-17 07:56:02

Absolute madness. My DSis hen do is a lovely night away. £130 all in.

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