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Best friend hitting on my ex

(8 Posts)
daisychainnn Mon 15-May-17 12:01:07

I'v known my best friend 6 years and we have a good friendship.

He's gay and has a partner of 3 years.

When I met him I was dating a guy, we had a child but I left him after 5 years as I didn't love him. I realised I was lesbian but my ex and I have a great friendship. He's a wonderful Father and a great guy. I'm just not in love with him.

He's completely heterosexual and has dated a few women since we split.

He sat me down yesterday and said he has taken a long time to tell me this as he didn't want to cause trouble but my best friend keeps messaging him. He then showed me weeks of messages from my best friend that he had sent him. My ex is not gay, has no romantic interest in my best friend and has replied with only basic, polite replies. It's clear from the messages my best friend is hoping for something romantic just by the sheer volume and persistence of his messages.

Him and my ex are not friends and he barely knows him. They've met in person about 6 times in total.

My best friend has a longterm partner who is such a great guy and I feel sorry for him. I'm sure if my ex turned gay and asked my best friend to meet him my best friend would jump at the chance!

I should have copped on when my friend told me my ex was hot!

My ex wanted advice on what to do and what I wanted him to do. He didn't want any awkwardness but said is it okay if I block him. I said it's upto him but it might be better to just not respond.

Now I'm left feeling really betrayed by my best friend. I know I left my ex but we have a child together and you don't go trying to hit on your best friends ex and Father of their child. I actually want my ex to be happy and the same goes for my best friend.

My ex isn't gay at all so my best friend is barking up the wrong tree there and I've no concern anything could happen. My ex has no interest but it's the principle of what my best friend is doing. He's not a bad guy so I'm probably not going to say anything. My ex has blocked him now. But I think this was bad form from my best friend. His messages are clearly flirty, it's just my ex has ignored the flirting and responded infrequently and only politely.

AIBU?

WrittenandGrown Mon 15-May-17 12:03:52

I would just tell you ex to block him and forget about it. Saying anything to your best friend won't work.

BorpBorpBorp Mon 15-May-17 12:16:53

This is not your problem. Your ex needs to explicitly tell best friend that he's not interested, and if that doesn't work, block his number.

daisychainnn Mon 15-May-17 12:28:30

It's not a problem as such. My ex has already blocked him.

My issue is I think it was quite a betrayal from my best friend. He shouldn't be trying to get with my ex and father of my child!

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 15-May-17 12:33:11

I don't think you can ignore this OP. You do know and it is effecting the way you see your friend. I think you need to have a chat with him.

daisychainnn Mon 15-May-17 12:46:01

Do you think what he has done is wrong?

I don't think I will have a big serious chat. But may mention it light heartedly. See what he says.

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 15-May-17 12:49:13

I don't think it's wrong towards you really in that you left the ex and wouldn't want him back, not sure why your dc is relevant. It's very wrong to his partner though and a bit harassing towards the ex if he's made it clear he wants contact to stop.

You were wrong to tell ex not to block him, it made him uncomfortable and blocking is clearly the answer.

VladmirsPoutine Mon 15-May-17 13:47:33

This is just bizarre. I'd confront friend and tell him what an utter arse he's being.

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