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To think you could totally meet someone exciting and start a family at 45...

(10 Posts)
scaryclown Mon 15-May-17 00:36:29

I'm writing this even though I know I've already done the 'meeting the one' thing, but somehow the one and me didn't agree it was the right time to finf the one anyway.

But I really really want children in the past so that they are young adults now. Is it. Ever going to be???

RedBullBlood Mon 15-May-17 00:41:25

But I really really want children in the past so that they are young adults now. Is it. Ever going to be???

Sorry? What do you mean?

CareerCr0ssroads Mon 15-May-17 00:44:12

Huh?

Do you mean - you originally wanted children at a younger age, ideally - but now although you're 45 you feel it's not too late and you could still do this?

BlueEyeGreenEye Mon 15-May-17 00:44:47

I don't even understand this.

pineapplesquash Mon 15-May-17 00:49:23

You'll need a time machine. Or I don't understand.

Xmasbaubles Mon 15-May-17 00:54:01

Hell yes I did at 55, so sad it was so late in my life! The children thing? No I wouldnt, I had mine at 40 that was definitely late enough. If you get a little devil, it could scupper the beautiful relationship you find. You will be restricted in options socially, financially and even worse too tired to notice your love.

sara221 Mon 15-May-17 01:46:51

Not sure if I have completely understood the premise of your question? I will have a little ago-you can not change the past, alas there are no grown up children. Going forward do you want them? Is adoption a option, possibly a teenager? From my understanding there are many needing a good home with someone engaged enough, to want their betterment. There is also IVF and artificial insemination-I guess you need to consider what you actually really want? 45 is young enough to take on children and be active, peoples longevity has increased over the years.
As for 'finding the one'-well the cynic in me,says find happiness in just being you. Unfortunately we are sold these ideals of Mr Right from a very young age, we start to formulate someone who simply is not real.
Although I do readily admit I am possibly the worst person to give advice-I am in my thirties and have never bothered with the notion of a optimal 'one'.
I do understand about wanting children, I know I will never have any but I have actively helped mentor some children-whom are young adults now and thriving due to my impact. I get a sense of satisfaction that I have made a difference and their life trajectory has altered. The point I am trying to make is simply- you have options.

PyongyangKipperbang Mon 15-May-17 02:09:26

Are you and dream man together? I couldnt work out from your OP

If you are talking about getting pregnant then yes its possible but you do need to accept that your chances are quite low.

If you are asking can you have grown up children now, then no you obviously cant and thats quite an odd thing to ask!

hamble123 Mon 15-May-17 02:56:39

My friend tried for years to get pregnant and after having IVF, had a baby when she was 46 (in the USA).

Another friend met her partner late in life and had her first baby at 45 and her second at 48 (she is an Aussie and the babies were born in Sydney).....however I think she had the IVF procedure In Singapore for the second baby.

Pallisers Mon 15-May-17 03:53:41

you can meet the right person at any age and 45 is actually relatively young to meet the love of your like - you would have conservatively maybe 30 years together.

But no you won't then have a child with him. Sorry but that is the truth. It happens all the time in hollywood (donated eggs, god knows what) and occasionally in real life but realistically you are not going to get pregnant at 45 and you should approach it like that. If it happens then it is a bonus.

I think this myth of complete fertility for women extending into their 40s does a disservice to women. Better to know what your actual fertility window is. yes it extends to 50 for some (rare) women). That is very very rare.

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