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To feel that it's hard to fit it all in?

(32 Posts)
Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 20:40:55

Am I just really incapable or do I have all my priorities wrong? So I have two children 5 in school and age 2 at home. I work two days a week, out of the house 8-7pm. The children's bedtime is 8 but I still sit with 2yo still she's asleep, and that can be 9 or even later. She is usually in with me at 6am. School run is 40mins return twice a day.

So we have a 4 bed house and I have a cleaner who does 4hours a week inc ironing shirts and sometimes changing bedclothes. My husband is out of the house 6-7 mon-thurs and 6-9 Friday. We often have busy weekends. He plays with kids a lot and does his washing and manages bills etc. I do the rest. AIBU to find it hard work and sometimes overwhelming when I have a cleaner and clearly lots of people don't. Where am I going wrong?

Wando1986 Sun 14-May-17 20:43:33

What do you do with the rest of your days?

TooStressyForMyOwnGood Sun 14-May-17 20:43:55

When you find out can you let me know please grin?

You are probably going 'wrong' sitting with the two year old while she falls asleep but I still sit with my 4 year old blush. Could you use that time for something productive? E.g. online shop on your phone etc.

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 20:45:27

I often do jobs on my phone while she's sleeping but sometimes it's masterchef!

Patsy99 Sun 14-May-17 20:48:41

You're not going wrong, it just is really tiring.

Your set up sounds similar to mine and I'm often exhausted.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood Sun 14-May-17 20:49:54

Ha! Yes, that is my problem too - too tempting to faff on the phone instead.

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 20:55:00

So what do I do. Eg.
Monday
6am baby in with me nap
7am up breakfast, get ready for school
8am walk to school
9am return straight in car for baby music class (2 yo does two classes a week both on Monday)
9.15 class
10.20 home. Cook lunch with 2 yo
10.55 walk to swimming
11 swimming
12 finished and dressed. Eat pack lunch at centre.
12.45 home put 2 for nap
1.15 tidy up brekkie, Sweep floor, tidy around house, washing etc.
2.15 2yo wakes. Play/ready/do bits in house.
2.45 leave for school
4pm returned home play, homework etc
4.40pm prepare dinner
5 eat dinner
5.45 play, clear up etc. Where does time go?
6.30 bath time
7 husband home. Eat my dinner.
7.15 up for stories. One with 5 yo, then switch one with 2yo and then put her to sleep.
8.30 downstairs. Clear up dinner, hang walking, chat to husband, get ready for work, have a shower etc.
10ish bed

Falconhoof1 Sun 14-May-17 21:02:19

I just think your at a hard stage- 2 young kids and you do lots with little one when off work. In a few years they'll both be at school and you'll have more time.

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:02:26

Or today
Up at 7 ish reading with kids in bed.
8 up make brekkie. Prepare pack lunch, pack bags. Dress kids and. self. Pack car.
9.30 leave for day out at kid festival type thing.
3pm return. Gardening with kids. Some tidying.
4.30 cut grass and water garden
6 take kids up for bath. Have my shower. Get all ready for bed.
6.45 puzzles
7 cook and eat my dinner. Kids still hungry after dh snack dinner whilst I was cutting grass. Get them something
7.30 stories. 5yo bed. Sit with 2yo.
9 now downstairs for admin with dh. Then log on to do and hour of work. Try and put wash on.
Bed.

Falconhoof1 Sun 14-May-17 21:05:19

Also you maybe think others manage to do more than you? I definitely don't! Sounds like you're doing great so don't give yourself a hard time.

MargotMoon Sun 14-May-17 21:09:50

It's just knackering. Give yourself a pat on the back and grit your teeth til it gets easier grin

Westray Sun 14-May-17 21:16:00

I think part of your problem is that you chose to have so many kids.
Did you think that would be easy?

dontbesillyhenry Sun 14-May-17 21:19:29

How are two kids 'so many'?

Patsy99 Sun 14-May-17 21:19:48

I think the op has 2 children - age 5 in school- not 5 in school!

TheEagle Sun 14-May-17 21:25:13

Sounds like you're doing great OP!

Since when is 2 children "many"? confused

I have 3, DS1 is 3.5 and DTs are 2. I'm out of the house 8-3 Monday to Friday.

I do the shopping/meal prep etc. as DH works longer hours than me. He does house stuff, is great with the kids and we all try to do something together (playground, library, beach etc) whenever we can.

I'm mostly permanently exhausted from it all but I try to enjoy the good moments because I know they'll grow up in a flash.

flowers and cake and brew for you.

Hope you get some chance to do something for yourself occasionally too smile

TheEagle Sun 14-May-17 21:26:22

Out of the house working 8-3, not just wandering the neighbourhood

WaitrosePigeon Sun 14-May-17 21:28:56

I'm confused do you walk or drive to school? If it's a 40 min walk can you drive it?

I try and get everything ready the night before. Be as organised as possible.

Yukbuck Sun 14-May-17 21:32:44

Time does seem to fly when you have young kids! And if I'm reading correctly you have a baby and a 2yo plus a child in school?! A baby and a 2 you is hard enough! Give yourself a break and look at what you have achieved instead of what you haven't achieved.
Like today, I've done loads around the house / garden but my bedroom is currently a tip. I'm watching TV stressing about my room but I need to remember all the things I have Achieved!

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:35:33

Yes two kids. That a good tip. I think I could be more organised in the hour before I go to bed. I tend to drift a bit as I'm tired. It's a 20 min walk each way though something more on the way back from school as they dawdle with friend. Sometimes we stop for milk. Etc. I could drive but by the time I've got them in the car, driven, found a space and walked the last but it's over10 mins, sometimes more. For 8 mins each way it feels less healthy, less social and less good to the environment but you are right that it sucks times and is tiring. I guess it's more than 10 mins if they're slow...

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:36:04

Thanks for the flowers, I appreciate them.

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:37:34

I guess I feel like a lot of other mums have their dh doing a school run occasionally, or coking dinner for them etc. I don't have that. But I know my mil dos so much more housework. Tales of using the manual dryer etc etc.

GiraffesAndButterflies Sun 14-May-17 21:38:08

Mine are 4 and 1 and I have this exact feeling. So so pleased to know that I have at least another year or two of it to go confused

wine for us all I reckon

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:39:15

Haha eagle!

WhooooAmI24601 Sun 14-May-17 21:39:47

We've got as many children as you and it's exhausting, so YANBU to find it overwhelming. I think for us the turning-point was when the DCs were both at school; it seemed to suddenly make the load a bit lighter. When we had one in and one out it was knackering because DS2 wasn't a good sleeper, either, and hitting each morning after a shit night's sleep makes everything so much harder.

Asuitablemum Sun 14-May-17 21:42:23

I know I was really looking forward to when they're both a school then dh started talking about how id be full time then confused. Really don't know how we'd get everything done.

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