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AIBU that he went out again

(78 Posts)
thetreesarealive Sun 14-May-17 20:32:40

DH was out this morning doing a favour for someone (a pleasant one -
he enjoys it), home for lunch and then straight out again for a hobby that took up the whole afternoon (2-7pm). I had to cope with our three very energetic/argumentative kids by myself the whole day, which included the birthday party for our eldest from 2-5pm – which we had organised before he realised it clashed with the hobby. (i.e. he didn't check.)

He usually goes out to meet a mate twice a week, one of these being Sunday evenings. I asked him if he was going out again tonight, he said, "yes, if that's ok." I made it clear that I didn't want him to, but he went out anyway.

I work and he doesn't. Kids are at school though, and he doesn't really keep the house or anything. I struggle immensely with tiredness due to a chronic condition. I was working all day yesterday. I am shattered and could have used a little bit of company for once. Aargh.

bigchris Sun 14-May-17 20:33:34

Why doesn't he work ?
How old are your kids ?

Pettywoman Sun 14-May-17 20:39:58

What does he bring to the relationship other than being a cocklodger?

Fruitcorner123 Sun 14-May-17 20:42:07

YADNBU who misses their own child's birthday party for a hobby? Also twice a week with the same friend when he's been out all day is excessive and how is he funding this? Why doesn't he work? What does he do if hes not looking after the house and the kids are at school!!? I would be furious and we would be having a serious chat. He sounds incredibly selfish.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 14-May-17 20:43:51

Sounds like time spent on a hobby should be in the job centre.
Are you funding this hobby??
He isn't a df /dh. .He. is a twat.

ExcuseMeButImHavingACrisis Sun 14-May-17 20:48:51

What is he doing when the kids are at school?

AnyFucker Sun 14-May-17 20:49:50

Christ almighty

This place is like Mug Central today

Who are all these women who let men treat like them like utter shit ?

It's like a triffid invasion or summat

TheSnowFairy Sun 14-May-17 20:52:37

He missed his own kid's birthday party?! shock

Alison100199 Sun 14-May-17 20:52:59

So he's a SAHD who does fuck all. He missed his child's party for a hobby and pisses off with his friends when you need him. What the hell?

robinia Sun 14-May-17 20:55:19

What AnyFucker said. I'm the most laid back person around but you'd already lost me when he missed his dc's birthday.

junebirthdaygirl Sun 14-May-17 20:58:33

Usually after a birthday party both dps are collapsed in a heap saying never again..He dodged off the whole party and now is dodging off the aftermath of tired dcs and a wrecked house..He is completely out of order. As for not working and you carrying everything he is a waste of space. What to do is difficult to know . I hope you are not paying for everything and that he has a trust fund or something!!!

ScarlettFreestone Sun 14-May-17 21:02:28

Sorry I can't get past the fact he missed his child's birthday party.

My DH has a sport he's pretty dedicated to and spends a lot of time on, but never in a million years would he think that his child's party wouldn't come first.

If your kids are at school and he doesn't work why on earth isn't he doing the lion's share of the household stuff?

Reow Sun 14-May-17 21:05:40

Yup @Anyfucker

I'd be off. Weird day all round.

Naicehamshop Sun 14-May-17 21:07:47

Seems like he is neither use nor ornament op. confused

Ethylred Sun 14-May-17 21:15:13

He must have some redeeming feature, otherwise he's a weapons-grade wanker.

Catherinebee85 Sun 14-May-17 21:20:37

Why is he able to get away with this? You need to seriously think about whether he's worth it. The situation sounds ridiculous! He's taking you for a total mug!

Gazelda Sun 14-May-17 21:35:15

shockhow did your DS react to his DF not being at his birthday party? How come he was doing a favour for someone else this morning, rather than helping with party prep? Even if you did it away from the home, you still need to get Everyone bathed and dressed, sort out cake, get party bags together, hunt the matches, while 3 DC are uber-excited.
He doesn't seem to contribute much to your family. What are his positive characteristics?

Guiltypleasures001 Sun 14-May-17 21:44:52

Cheers AF

All I can hear now is that bloody knock knock knock noise they used to make, I luffs triffids 😁
Maybe suggest the op hoses him down with salt water, before kicking his arse out

Cookingongas Sun 14-May-17 21:44:55


How to solve the issue is a mystery to me- if he's such a cocklodger that he doesn't work, doesn't look after the kids and is so disconnected to have missed his dcs birthday party then I can't see how he could change.

Fruitcocktail6 Sun 14-May-17 21:49:01

What the hell?

Why doesn't he work? And he missed his kid's birthday party? Why are you with him?

Poisongirl81 Sun 14-May-17 21:50:08

Really hmm

AnyFucker Sun 14-May-17 21:50:42

He must have a diamond studded cock

Poisongirl81 Sun 14-May-17 21:50:59

He's a scrounging shit bag

Hiphopopotamus Sun 14-May-17 21:53:35

AnyFucker have you thought that maybe these women shouldn't be kicked while they're down? You always claim to be on their side, but talk about them completely disparagingly with no empathy whatsoever

wannabestressfree Sun 14-May-17 21:54:02

I love anyfucker..... always on the 🏀
Some bits I could get over but not the birthday party/ treating your gaff like a b&b type stuff....
Why not just be on your own.... I love it.... strokes big ole manless double bed smile

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