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What age to leave DC at a party with random parents?

(18 Posts)
RedSkyAtNight Sun 14-May-17 17:16:21

This is one that I've been musing on for a little while so thought I'd throw it out there.

DS recently turned 13 and we organised a party that involved going to an activity place and then coming back to our house(10 minutes drive from activity place) for some food and playstationing

We asked his friends to meet at the activity place and DH and I then shuttled them to our house, with their parents picking them up there later.

DS asked 7 friends. 2 of them were friends from primary school and we know them/their parents quite well. The other 5 were new friends. DH and I had never met them, or their parents prior to the party.

So here's the AIBU. Every single child bar 1, was simply dropped off at the activity place while the parents drove off and left the DC to come in and find us.

I realise that the DC were all 12/13 and had their own phones, but I had at least expected the parents to come in, check we were there and say "hello" before departing.

But DS is my PFB so maybe this is the norm for this age group and I'm being overprotective?

TheWildRumpyPumpus Sun 14-May-17 17:17:20

I thought you were going to say they were 4/5!

ThreeForAPound Sun 14-May-17 17:18:32

Totally normal for that age group. It might be different if it was a sleepover, but for an activity? Normal. I drop and run with my 8 yr old sometimes if its just a bowling party etc.

Witchend Sun 14-May-17 17:20:53

13 shock ! I wouldn't expect to see the parents once they were at secondary. In fact any parties once they've got to secondary have consisted of dc saying "can you drop me X place, will phone for pick up." I have no use other than taxi <sob> They even buy their own presents and cards and would look at me with a hmm if I suggested otherwise.

chastenedButStillSmiling Sun 14-May-17 17:23:36

I had this when DD was (I think) 12. Possibly 13. She had a sleepover party not even in her own home... It was at the GPs house (which is bigger), although DH and I were there too. I had never met most of the guests, let alone their parents. Every single parent dropped their kid off and drove away before the doorbell was answered. I was shock
We could have been anyone.

But, obvs just me. I think it was 7 children who we'd never met before.

Beebeeeight Sun 14-May-17 17:26:20

I've had 4 year olds dropped off at my house without so much as an exchange of names!

user1471545174 Sun 14-May-17 17:27:22

I thought you were going to say 6.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 14-May-17 17:28:30

At 13 I'd be more surprised if the parents did come in!

teenagetantrums Sun 14-May-17 17:30:25

I wouldn't even have dropped my kids at 13. They would have made thier own way. But we live in a city. I may be a slack parent but l dropped and ran by age of 5.

FatOldBag Sun 14-May-17 17:30:46

Er, about 5. Bloody hell 13 - I expect they'd have all died of embarrassment if anyone saw them with their parents! Get a grip OP.

MarciaBlaine Sun 14-May-17 17:31:26

My daughter would apparently "rather die" than me come in and say hello. She's 13.

Cel982 Sun 14-May-17 17:33:21

At 13 I would have been mortified if my parent had insisted on coming in to meet the hosts of a party confused

I mean, sure, "they could be anyone", but what are the real chances of parents inviting a large group of 12/13-year-olds to their home for nefarious purposes?

mumeeee Sun 14-May-17 17:33:36

Perfectly normal for 12/13 year olds just to be dropped off at a party

RedSkyAtNight Sun 14-May-17 17:34:29

I realise that I am perfectly happy with random DC turning up at our house, and with DS going round to house of random DC.

And I've no issue with him going out with his friends without parents about.

So actually I'm not sure why this seemed odd - perhaps it was the fact of unknown adults supervising, or maybe the fact we were driving the DC about ?

StickThatInYourPipe Sun 14-May-17 17:34:56

At 13 we as kids would have cycled there alone (if not too far) if next town etc would be a drop and run. I think at 13/14 we had parties at pizza express with no parents anyway

MirandaWest Sun 14-May-17 17:39:27

When DS had his 13th birthday party it was at an activity centre about 10 miles away. Some in our village dropped their DC here and some met us there. Everyone said hello to us - tbh I'd have been surprised if they hadn't.

So I don't think you're being unreasonable it finding it a bit odd that they didn't,

drinkingtea Sun 14-May-17 17:43:36

Ye gods 13 year olds would be fine dropped at bowling without any parents in charge wouldn't they?

Once they have a phone and can make their own way to school etc you need to back off a bit IMO - 11, maybe 10, depends a bit on the child and area I guess but unless the child has sn or you live somewhere unusually dangerous then before 13.

Floralnomad Sun 14-May-17 17:45:05

At 13 most would rather not go to the party than have their parent go in to see who was supervising , totally embarrassing .

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