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to ask DP to look after DD so I can go to guitar lessons?

(34 Posts)
user1494761641 Sun 14-May-17 12:43:23

I work part-time - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I look after DD Tuesday and Thursday (on my own) and we both look after her at the weekend... She goes to nursery on the other days. I have just booked a term of guitar lessons (it's for an hour on a Thursday) and I've asked if he could have her on his own after work. He says it's unfair because we have both worked that day, so he gets extra when he gets home hmm

AIBU?

Kennethwasmyfriend Sun 14-May-17 12:45:13

It is very VERY important that fathers spend time in sole charge of
their children.

TheGreyBlock Sun 14-May-17 12:45:29

YANBU.

You know you aren't.

Your DP is being ridiculous​.

harderandharder2breathe Sun 14-May-17 12:51:09

Father looks after own child shouldn't be groundbreaking

He needs to get a grip and be a parent

user1494761641 Sun 14-May-17 12:51:40

I didn't think I was, but then he had a point about how we had both been working and then he has to do 'extra'...

Afterthestorm Sun 14-May-17 12:52:02

He is being selfish in the extreme if he won't look after his own daughter, to enable you to have a hobby. Put your foot down now.

momgusset Sun 14-May-17 12:52:27

Tell him if he doesn't cooperate you'll teach yourself the bagpipes off a YouTube video

HumphreyCobblers Sun 14-May-17 12:54:31

jesus, that is awfully irritating.

Parents are expected to parent when necessary, not divvy up their responsibilities like kids sharing out a packet of sweets.

purplecoathanger Sun 14-May-17 12:54:48

You are soooo Not being unreasonable. It's so important to have interests and hobbies of your own. Your DH is being a complete knob.

pitterpatterrain Sun 14-May-17 12:55:24

Well that is an interesting rule he is setting

So you both are never "allowed" to do anything on a work night?

I assume he never does anything - work late, go out with friends etc etc

Fortheloveofdog Sun 14-May-17 12:55:54

My DH will look after my Dsis's toddler for her to do her hobby, as will her DH. Some men are pathetic over looking after children, his behaviour falls in that category for me...
Father of my eldest has always been useless, but DH pulled his weight from the start with DS, it makes for a happier family ime

Blankiefan Sun 14-May-17 13:03:08

How old is DD? How comfortable are you both with Parenting? I ask because when DD was under 2, I certainly wasn't happy with parenting (undiagnosed PND I suspect) and would add up time like this - basically to avoid any more parenting than I hadn't do!

I don't have any advice. Ultimately if this is the issue, he'll just have to get over it. Time and DD growing up / getting more interesting helped.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 14-May-17 13:04:18

He gets extra 1-1 with his dd ffs!!
What a prick.

user1494761641 Sun 14-May-17 13:05:03

She's 14 months smile

ImperialBlether Sun 14-May-17 13:05:44

Just a reminder, OP - if you're not married but have gone part-time and your partner isn't that involved with your child, you're making yourself very vulnerable, financially. Have a look at some of the threads on here.

isupposeitsverynice Sun 14-May-17 13:06:36

He is being utterly unreasonable and ridiculous. He doesn't have a point at all.

user1494761641 Sun 14-May-17 13:07:55

Thank you, but I am the one who doesn't want to get married, so that isn't his fault smile I have a lot of savings, so if something were to go wrong with the relationship, I could cope.

Rossigigi Sun 14-May-17 13:09:33

He's not looking after his daughter he is only being asked to be a parent. Hate this 'babysitting' argument .

JigglyTuff Sun 14-May-17 13:09:37

So neither of you are allowed any time for yourselves? Either working or looking after your DD? That sounds like my life and I'm a single parent.

PoisonousSmurf Sun 14-May-17 13:10:13

Is he a manchild? Parenthood doesn't mean you have a right to a quiet evening. YANBU.

BertrandRussell Sun 14-May-17 13:12:54

When you say you both look after her at the weekends- are you both 'on duty' all the time?

CaulkheadNorth Sun 14-May-17 13:14:38

I totally agree that YANBU but I wonder whether he would feel better if he also booked an hour a week of something (music/sport/hobby) etc. Would that feel more "equal" to him maybe?

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 14-May-17 13:22:20

He's a dick.
So far, from your schedule, I can't see that he looks after his own DD by himself at any point, so quite frankly, it's about time he started.
Dick .

expatinscotland Sun 14-May-17 13:22:22

What a prick! He sees spending time with his own child as a chore. Point that out to him.

AnnieAnoniMouse Sun 14-May-17 13:32:11

He sees spending an hour or so alone with his DD as 'doing extra'?

What sort of fuck muppet have you made a baby with?

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