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To ask for reassurance that everyone's parenting goes tits up sometimes?

(27 Posts)
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sat 13-May-17 23:35:34

My two year old is still awake, largely because he fell asleep in the car for two hours between 5 and 7 this evening. I'm 7 months pregnant and have driven for six hours today, and I literally cannot stay upright any longer, so I have popped DS in bed with me and peppa pig on the iPad and intend to semi-doze until he falls asleep. The bedroom is childproof and the door is locked, but I feel like this is a kind of parenting nadir confused.

This week has been pretty dire- DS has had chicken pox, I've had exams, FIL had to come to stay unexpectedly for six days (in a very small flat) and DH has been working nights with loads of overtime, so basically everything - routine/ controls on screen time/ eating anything vaguely healthy has gone out the window. I'm trying to tell myself that DS is happy (ecstatically so, having been given the iPad hmm), clean, fed (ish) and safe and things can get back on track tomorrow, but my pre-parenting list of 'things I will never do' has basically been wiped out all in one week... Everyone has times like this, right? blush

PandoraMole Sat 13-May-17 23:38:08

Yup..sounds like you're doing a grand job.

Seriously at times like this, you just have to do whatever you can to cope and stay sane. A late night on the iPad makes you a normal knackered parent, not a bad one flowers

glitterglitters Sat 13-May-17 23:38:13

This morning I have my (almost) 2 year old my phone, loaded up on peppa pig because at 7 months pregnant the baby decided to go transverse and do river dance all night.

So big un-mumsnetty hug and thank fuck for precocious porcine flowers

HarryOHay Sat 13-May-17 23:39:21

It's totally fine.

We did this today when the kids woke up (early!). It was all fine until we realised DS had been at the toilet for a while. It turns out he had gone downstairs to get himself breakfast 😳 He is older than your DS but even so I felt bad!

glitterglitters Sat 13-May-17 23:39:33

And just to add in I'm one of those horrid people who doesn't "allow" screen time normally.

Unless I'm really fucking tired winkgrin

sparkli Sat 13-May-17 23:40:30

Yes! Don't beat yourself up. DS is safe, fed and loved, and that's all that matters. Sometimes we just need to do whatever it takes to get through. Tomorrow is another day. Hope you both get some rest!

mashpot Sat 13-May-17 23:42:08

Definitely fine. Honestly. Hope you get a good night.

springhassprungohmy Sat 13-May-17 23:44:37

Another vote for fine. You can't do much else when they sleep in the car! I've done the same myself, and sometimes also do this is DS wakes up way early and I can't face getting up. Yanbu at all

sailorcherries Sat 13-May-17 23:48:41

Definitely fine.
My DS knows that on a weekend morning I am not to be woken before 8am. If he wakes earlier than this (usually 7.30 if he is awake although this is maybe once or twice in a blue moon) he can take his tablet and watch netflix (the wee bugger knows how to cast it to the tv using the chrome cast).

You need to do what you need to do flowers

LittleWingSoul Sat 13-May-17 23:50:18

God I have days like this without the list of extra stressors you have! You are doing great, don't worry!

I'm also preg, tired and very snappy with DH and the kids... DH unexpectedly had to work all day (NHS IT staff!) and I properly lost it at DD8 over not much at all really. I screamed at her. I felt awful. And I did the same at DS2 last night when he refused to go to sleep (started bed time at 8.30pm, still wasn't asleep at 10pm!)

We are but human OP, kids bounce back very easily and probably don't even notice when we think it's all gone tits up!

AntagonyAunt Sat 13-May-17 23:53:14

I had to do similar when a hayfever tablet really knocked me out recently.
You do what you have to do and you do your best.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 14-May-17 03:00:56

Well that was one of my worse ideas... I dozed went out like a light within seconds of writing the OP and he didn't - he did however manage to change Peppa Pig to Paw Patrol, which shows a command of Netflix I didn't know he possessed. So have just had to get my act together and confiscate the iPad by force, resulting in a 45 minute tantrum at 2am. He has finally gone to sleep, muttering darkly, but on past experience when he falls asleep mid-tantrum he is still there when he wakes up. So this bodes well for the morning....

Plunkette Sun 14-May-17 03:05:53

It's not a parenting nadir, it's just a bad day at the end of a difficult week.

Don't beat yourself up - you're doing fine.

Tantrums are par for the course at two years old. Cuddles often help tiredness related tantrums. Sometimes they are so tired they just don't know what to do with themselves.

Can you wake him with tickles or tummy raspberries or singing (whatever makes him laugh) it might help dodge a bullet tomorrow.

BeeThirtythree Sun 14-May-17 03:42:52

Oh that pre parenting list of things that will never apply to me? We've all been there sweetie!

As I said to my Dsis friend who asked how I have my DC both ready for bed, snuggled on sofa,while we read a story... every night.
It is not every night, not the night DD4 interrupts to colour/quiz me about Paw Patrol/Susan across the road or DD1 repeatedly removes her pyjama pants/tries to eat the cat's food/rips up the other's colouring...tries to eat that too!
Just the one night Dsis managed to capture us sat looking like a Mother &Baby mag article on 'Perfecting bedtime' for her Snapchat!

Do what you need to! It is not every night, you have had a lot to deal with. Hopefully you both get some sleep soon!

BeeThirtythree Sun 14-May-17 03:47:11

Apologies for the spelling/grammar!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 14-May-17 04:01:02

Aw OP, it's just a bad day. Tomorrow is another day. Don't worry about it.

My 2 year old is also a bugger for falling asleep in the car and then refusing to sleep later. I don't have the answer for it.

Mummyoflittledragon Sun 14-May-17 04:21:32

With dd, there is the 4-5 hour rule. So no trying to get her to bed for a minimum of 4 hours after waking up from a nap. But a 2 hour one so late, we would have struggled. She's 8 now so it's not as bad as she naps only when exhausted. The key to getting her to sleep after a nap is lots and lots of running around. Getting an active child to sleep is always about wearing them out. Is your ds active?

Lynnm63 Sun 14-May-17 04:22:12

Somedays if you get to the end of it and they're all still alive you tick that off as a result. Don't beat yourself up the bad parents don't give a shit. I didn't read many parenting books but one line stuck in my mind. It said if you've ever asked yourself Am I a good parent? You are because the bad ones don't agonise over whether they are or not.

Trifleorbust Sun 14-May-17 08:00:14

Oh god, this isn't the nadir, don't worry! Sounds fairly normal to me when you've not had the best week. Give yourself a break flowers

Fidoandacupoftea Sun 14-May-17 08:11:54

Sounds very normal to me. I have been known to frequently 'forget' iPad time limit to avoid playing pretend games when DDs were younger

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask Sun 14-May-17 15:05:51

He slept til 11 this morning shock with a brief twenty minute screaming session at 8 when DH woke him accidentally coming in after his shift. Thankfully that seemed to get it out of his system and he's been sunny and lovely since he woke up properly, but how do I get things back on track? Let him stay up a bit late but gradually work backwards over the next few days, or put him to bed at his proper bedtime and grit my teeth for fun and games until he gets used to it again? I think his spots will all have scabbed over in the next few days so he can go back to nursery, but not if he's sleeping all day and awake all night! I don't mind him not being able to sleep - sometimes everyone can't. It's the earth-shattering tantrums when he doesn't get his own way, even in the middle of the bloody night that are driving me demented. I bet the upstairs neighbours are loving it as well...

OsmosisJones Sun 14-May-17 15:45:28

Yeah. My two year old is furious with me this afternoon. I have no idea why. But she's just belted me across the arm. Not even mid-tantrum. I gave her a telling off formit but she doesn't care. Won't come to me, just asked for daddy over and over. Tells me to "go away and don't touch me".

I cried. In my defence I am heavily pregnant, hormonal and feeling tired and shite. She didn't notice me crying she was watching frozen. DH came in and sent me for a lie down. So yeah. Tits up for me today. Lying here feeling like the most god awful parent going.

I have a sinking feeling it's to do with the new baby. I opened up a parcel of new baby things to show her as she's been quite positive about the whole thing so far.

pointythings Sun 14-May-17 16:54:21

Everyone gets it wrong. yesterday I overreacted to something my 16yo said, she overreacted to me, we had a stupid argument that stressed my 14yo out so much she went into overload (she has some asd tendencies). So yeah, big fail - I should have been the bigger person and let it go.

It all got sorted out in the end and DD1 and I both apologised to DD2.

selfishmommy Sun 14-May-17 17:01:13

It goes tits up for me every day in some way 😂 The chickenpox alone is enough, without everything else.

Personally, I'd keep him up a bit later tonight, get him up normal time tomorrow, and then see how he is tomorrow night - if needs be, gradually bring his bedtime back to normal. But the chickenpox might mean you just have to grin and bear it until he's better.

You're doing a great job x

glueandstick Sun 14-May-17 17:06:55

My one year old had a packet of wotsits for dinner last night. I have sinusitis, she's got a cold and is teething and quite frankly I couldn't have cared less what she ate as long as it was something.

She's now sound asleep in the car. Again, don't care as I'm dying. Will take the day as it comes.

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