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To think this person was rude?

(170 Posts)
youcometomyhouse Sat 13-May-17 16:30:31

Someone DH works with showed up unexpectedly at our house at dinner time. We ignored the door because we weren't expecting anyone but he knocked repeatedly over a 15 minute period. When we still didn't answer he walked around to the back door. DH invited him in despite the fact it was dinner time!

He only wanted a cup of tea and a chat with DH, nothing important.

AIBU to think this is rude?

Reow Sat 13-May-17 16:32:01

Very rude.

thecatsarecrazy Sat 13-May-17 16:32:29

Yes I think that's rude but I hate anyone coming to the house any time.

LadyPW Sat 13-May-17 16:33:09

Totally! You need a bolt on the back gate and a DH with more backbone & better colleagues. The bolt is the easiest bit.

sonjadog Sat 13-May-17 16:33:43

He sounds unusually persistant. Surely there was more to it than just wanting a coffee?

divafever99 Sat 13-May-17 16:35:14

Yes very rude. If I knocked on the door and there was no answer I would just leave, even of it was clear there was someone in, I would assume they didn't want to be disturbed. I

youcometomyhouse Sat 13-May-17 16:36:33

No, he just wanted a chat and a cuppa. They talked about stuff at work, and that's all really!

Reow Sat 13-May-17 16:38:35

Me too thecatsarecrazy!

Do you drop to the floor and do the army crawl too?

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Sat 13-May-17 16:43:48

You didn't answer the door for fifteen minutes - wow! I find that incredible - I'm baffled by people not answering their doors. What's the issue? I'd have invited him in poured him a drink offered him some dinner and had a chat.

Nineinchnails Sat 13-May-17 16:46:01

I like people popping in smile

QuiteLikely5 Sat 13-May-17 16:47:16

Tbh I find it strange why you didn't answer the door? Eating or not.

At the end of the day he knew you were home and also failed to understand why you wouldn't answer.

Also surely you had finished eating after 15 mins

LedaP Sat 13-May-17 16:48:48

I think not answering your door is pretty rude tbh.

RuggerHug Sat 13-May-17 16:50:09

I'm amazed he didn't give up and leave when you were obviously ignoring him misses the point

SpinMill Sat 13-May-17 16:52:21

I find it a bit odd and rude that you ignored him and didn't answer the door.

happypoobum Sat 13-May-17 16:57:27

OMG - another "popping in" thread.

Poppers in should be shot.

I would have killed DH for allowing the fucker in. Who doesn't get the message after knocking, let alone for fifteen bloody minutes.

Sounds very odd.

nocoolnamesleft Sat 13-May-17 17:00:06

Yep, it was indeed rude to have ignored him. Answer the door "Sorry, we're in the middle of something here, bye"

DeadGood Sat 13-May-17 17:02:38

"I'm amazed he didn't give up and leave when you were obviously ignoring him misses the point "

No, you didn't miss the point rugger - this is exactly why the OP, and any other right-minded person, thinks that this colleague is rude.

People should take the hint.

As for the "I can't believe you didn't answer the door" crew. I always find people with this attitude a bit sad. We get to do whatever the hell we want to within our own homes. We are allowed to ignore the doorbell if we don't wish to see anyone.

It kind of seems as though some people are sort of desperate for company.

Sara107 Sat 13-May-17 17:03:51

How could you sit there eating g dinner with someone banging on the door for 15 mins?? Did you not think after the first few that the person actually wanted to see you? Maybe rude to call by unannounced, but just as rude not to open the door.

redshoeblueshoe Sat 13-May-17 17:04:09

The person was rude for knocking for 15 minutes
You were rude for not answering the door

DeadGood Sat 13-May-17 17:04:33

"Yep, it was indeed rude to have ignored him. Answer the door "Sorry, we're in the middle of something here, bye""

On what universe is it not rude to say that to someone?!

The whole point of not answering the door is to allow everyone to save face.

Plus, sometimes I literally do not want anybody to see me. Answering the door only to dismiss someone kind of defeats the purpose of not answering the door.

Goldfishjane Sat 13-May-17 17:05:02

I would have had asked him if his own home had burned down, can't think why else he'd be so persistent. You sure he wasn't off loading drugs?!

Taylia Sat 13-May-17 17:07:57

I don't think not answering the door is rude. It's the OP's house. There's no law stating if your door is knocked it must be answered.

Just as if your phone rings you can ignore it.

The guy should have got the message after knocking once and not getting an answer, 15 mins and then still skulking around the back is ridiculous.
YANBU

Tweezerz Sat 13-May-17 17:09:46

I think it's rude you didn't answer. I would have invited him to join us for dinner but if it was a time when company really was going to be an issue I would have answered the door and said we were in the middle of something and asked DH to arrange to meet him later on or something.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 13-May-17 17:11:38

I think it's rude not to answer a door if you are in. You don't have to invite them inside, just acknowledge their existence.

Redglitter Sat 13-May-17 17:12:52

Would it not have been easier to go to the door and tell him you were having dinner. I hate people popping in but I couldn't ignore the door for 15 mins

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