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Parents staying with kids at university

(141 Posts)
daffodil10 Sat 13-May-17 09:43:40

My daughter is only 14 so it'll be a few years till she starts university. A colleague mentioned to me that it's quite common for parents to stay with their kids at uni for the first week. When I went to uni my parents drove from Scotland to the midlands dropped me off and drove back again. I couldn't afford the train fare so it was xmas before I saw them again. I can't believe parents stay - let them go!

Littlepond Sat 13-May-17 09:46:06

I have several friends with kids at uni and none of them stayed for a week?! Surely you can only do that with your youngest, or an only child? What would people do with their other kids for that week?!

LordRothermereBlackshirtCunt Sat 13-May-17 09:46:49

No, it is not common (I work in a university). I remember one case where a parent stayed in their DCs room, and all the other students in the flat, unsurprisingly, were complaining like mad.

CaulkheadNorth Sat 13-May-17 09:47:13

I work in accommodation at a university.
No parent has stayed on campus since I've been here (2years). I don't know about previously, and there is obviously a small chance that they have, without borrowing a mattress and bedding for them.

I've heard of a few parents staying at hotels nearby on the first night as it can be a long drive back, and parents staying at hotels when visiting students during the term.

PUGaLUGS Sat 13-May-17 09:48:07

I haven't heard of this. Certainly didn't stay with DS1. They want to be out socialising, making new friends, doing freshers.

talkingtofrank Sat 13-May-17 09:49:00

No, it's not normal.

ForFiveMinutes Sat 13-May-17 09:49:28

My daughter would have been mortified if I had done this! She was "thanks for the lift mother, now bugger off so I can go out and get pissed with my exciting new friends". And to be fair so was I when I went, couldn't get them out of the door fast enough grin

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 13-May-17 09:49:35

DH was a senior resident and used to have some overbearing mums trying to stay in their 18 year old lads' rooms. He had to kick them out.

Amanduh Sat 13-May-17 09:49:41

Neither my parents, the parents of anyone I know, or anybody at I'm pretty sure the entire uni had their parents staying for freshers, how weird would that be?! I've never known anybody do that... it really is NOT common.

SquinkiesRule Sat 13-May-17 09:49:57

We drove unloaded the car, went out to dinner (the last supper as Ds called it), and went home. Only 45 minutes away though.

Devorak Sat 13-May-17 09:52:08

I work at a school but up to IB so have an idea of what students do when they go to uni and I've never heard of this happening.

A co-worker suggested to his son that the co-worker and his wife stay in a B&B nearby 'just in case'. The boy choked on his drink!

I remember when my parents help me move into halls and then left. It was a very strange first hour before I took a deep breath and went out to make friends!

I don't think your colleague has any idea what they're talking about.

weddingopinionsplease Sat 13-May-17 09:52:36

Nope, not common at all. Anyone who'd travelled far with parents moved into halls and their parents stayed in a hotel away from campus and their kid. I left University in 2010 so not too long ago (OK a while ago now!)

weddingopinionsplease Sat 13-May-17 09:53:36

And when I say stayed in a hotel I mean they stopped the night after they'd said bye and went home the next day

chemenger Sat 13-May-17 09:54:02

I have known a few overseas students' parents who have stayed for a few days, and some who have come along to Freshers induction events (I'm an academic). I have never noticed a home student with parents in tow. When we dropped dd at her halls parents were definitely dropping and running! We were reluctantly given a cup of tea, but it was made clear that we were not welcome to hang around and try and talk to people.

Gillian1980 Sat 13-May-17 09:54:10

I've been at uni for 6 years and I've never met a single person whose parents stayed for a week?!

Some who have travelled a really long way spent a night in a hotel nearby, went for a meal that evening, then drove home the next day.

Most freshers I met couldn't wait to be left to get on with the partying! Even those that were upset saying goodbye to their folks were keen to get socialising.

Fluffy24 Sat 13-May-17 09:54:43

Staying with or just staying in the same town?

I imagine if DS went very far away we might stay in the same town/city at a hotel for a few days after we'd delivered him there?
My parents often came to stay for a few days/week when I was at uni and staying on over the vacation - they'd not live with me but stay in a hotel and we'd go for trips out or for meals together, was nice to catch up and have a few days break.

JennyOnAPlate Sat 13-May-17 09:55:12

I have never heard of this happening. Halls tend to have rules about overnight guests and I can't imagine anyone would be allowed to stay for a week!

TrinityTaylor Sat 13-May-17 09:55:29

Very very unusual. Maybe one night in a hotel if they had travelled far. My housemate's mum and auntie used to come up for a week at a time during second and third year when we lived in a flat in town as they were from a tiny village and used to come up for a shopping/eating out week. Lovely but they used to sleep on blow up mattreses on the lounge floor and I used to feel like I couldn't leave my room

Whatawaytomakealiving Sat 13-May-17 09:55:33

A definite no here too. We stayed over in a hotel, just because it was a gorgeous city and a long journey, but didn't see DS. It was made very clear after about 40mins in his new room (and after carrying numerous boxes in and buying his lunch...and taking him on a massive supermarket shop!) that he wanted us to go!

TortoiseBeep Sat 13-May-17 09:56:04

Nooo that would be very cringey. Mum and Dad stayed at a Travelodge when they dropped me off but only because of the distance of the drive. They took me out for "one last decent meal" when we arrived and then let me get on with it!

Crumbs1 Sat 13-May-17 09:57:21

It would mark young person out as just plain weird.

MiladyThesaurus Sat 13-May-17 09:58:08

Having worked at a university in a city people often like to visit, I have heard of parents staying for a few days/week in a hotel after dropping their new students off. But I'm pretty sure that was just squeezing a bit of a holiday for themselves in alongside the drop off (to compensate for the long drive). I think they just left their 18/19 year old children to it.

Maybe your colleague is just a bit confused.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 13-May-17 09:58:33

We took our two older ds's to their respective universities, helped them unpack then left them to it, they couldn't wait til we buggered off.

I'm surprised the kids of these Parents aren't telling them to leave.

coldflange Sat 13-May-17 10:00:18

That would be odd imo.

DS started uni last September. We drove him there, unpacked the car and carried numerous boxes amd bags up the 3 flights of stairs to his room then left.

We asked him if he wanted to go out of lunch first in the town prior to the freshers events starting but he was keen to wave us off.

MiladyThesaurus Sat 13-May-17 10:00:29

Let's face it no one wants to be Lorelei Gilmore spending days hanging around Rory's room when she started university. In real life Rory's flat mates would have revolted!

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