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To ask if dreams indicate unresolved issues?

(8 Posts)
moutonfou Sat 13-May-17 00:29:56

5 years ago now I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I still have a recurring dream that I've ended up back with him, and it's horrible.

How can I stop this happening? Is it some kind of unresolved business? I don't really remember the time I broke up with him, it was such a blur, but there were definitely truths I didn't share or glossed over such as how badly he'd hurt me. We're not in contact either so it's not like I can share them now.

Mari50 Sat 13-May-17 00:32:38

Who knows, I still dream about not having studied for my uni exams - almost 20 years since I passed them.
My dreams are always lucid and totally crazy so I hope they aren't indicitive of deeper issues or I'm fucked x

MsMarple Sat 13-May-17 00:38:57

I always thought that the dreams you remember are trying to tell you something important. It might not be something to resolve with him though - could be something that you could work through yourself? Maybe think about your precise feelings in the dream - e.g. are you scared of him, or annoyed at yourself for being back with him, or feeling helpless to stop it? Or something different? Do you currently have any other relationships that aren't the healthiest for you, or that you might be feeling uneasy about?

Asmoto Sat 13-May-17 00:44:27

Could it be that something happening in your life when you have this dream has echoes of your bad experience - albeit possibly to a much lesser degree - e.g. you are experiencing something you can't control, or you feel threatened?

I tend to believe (unscientifically) that dreams are part of how you process what's happened to you recently, and that your mind can hark back to situations where similar feelings are involved in an attempt to find a solution to your present problems - even if the similarity might not be apparent, or it might be something trivial in comparison to the dream event.

Asmoto Sat 13-May-17 00:45:12

^realised my post is waffly and crap, apologies blush

foxyloxy78 Sat 13-May-17 01:16:37

MARI50- I get the exams dream too.

TheKrakenSmith Sat 13-May-17 01:28:32

Imo, dreams just indicate things you fear, in that sense. Maybe you could get some help to not fear him anymore. I'm nuerodivergent, and both weird dreams and weird fears aren't common for some of my diagnosis, and most of the negative ones are stuff I fear, but with no emotional connection (I have a crippling fear of Guinea Pigs, barnacles and caterpillars). So I think you're simply thinking about something you fear.

Chloe84 Sat 13-May-17 06:42:50

You say that there are 'truths you didn't share'. Have you shared them now? Talking about things can really help, like a burden being lifted from your shoulders.

I had an anxiety dream recently and looked it up online. It talks about how 'anxiety dreams may be caused by childhood trauma, or an adult dealing with conflict. Though they create anxiety in the dreamer, anxiety dreams also serve as a way for a person's ego to re-set.'

I found that really interesting, as that dream made me realise there was too much pressure on me, and something had to give.

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