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AIBU?

to piss off out for the day tomorrow

19 replies

WhereAreMyTesticlesSummer · 13/05/2017 00:12

leaving the DC with a sleep deprived and hungover Ex?

Me and the DC are temporarily living with him while my house purchase goes through and he's, frankly, taking me for granted. He goes off to his hobby pretty much all day every Sunday leaving me with the DC. Tonight he's out on the piss (went straight after work), I can see from (bastarding) social media that his night is just ramping up and it's obvious he won't be home till 3-4am and will be bladdered.

WIBU to pop DS on the bed beside him around 9am in the morning, tell him to wake up and then leave for the day? Want to take Ddog for a big long hike and have some rare time to myself.

Or am I being a petty cow?

OP posts:

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Clandestino · 13/05/2017 00:20

I find rhan in this this petty passive aggressiveness there's only one party that really suffers - the children. You have your little revenge, your DS has a spoilt day with a hungover parent.

VimFuego101 · 13/05/2017 00:21

Would it have been 'his' weekend if you weren't living together? I think you should stick to that schedule as much as possible so as not to confuse the children.

That said... did he have a choice but to allow you to stay? Maybe he just finds it awkward having his ex staying with him.

WhereAreMyTesticlesSummer · 13/05/2017 00:25

Vim he insisted we stay here.

This weekend would be mine according to the schedule. He is going to his hobby as usual on Sunday.

I'm not trying to punish the DC. He will step up, drink coffee and then take them out somewhere if I'm not here. If I were here he would try and play video games all day and leave the parenting to me.

I appreciate him letting me stay but he seems to think he has 24/7 childcare on tap and can make any plans he fancies without even asking if it's ok first.

OP posts:

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 00:56

No leave the children with him, if you think they'll be ok.
Go out and enjoy some 'me' time! You deserve it!

loaferloveforyou · 13/05/2017 01:27

Are the children going to be ok with him? If so, YANBU.

If he's going to be too hungover to loon after them properly then yes YABU.

The only people who matter in this scenario are the children.

How old are the children?

steff13 · 13/05/2017 01:57

I think you should stick to your regular visitation schedule.

WhereAreMyTesticlesSummer · 13/05/2017 04:56

steff RTFT eh?

So he hasn't come home. It's all too familiar from the years we were together. Me sitting at home worried out of my mind while he did god knows what. I presume he's with a woman.

I'm taking the DC and the dog out for big ramble after breakfast. He can get stuffed as far as I'm concerned..

OP posts:

LedaP · 13/05/2017 05:32

I think Stef is right.

You said This would normally your weekend. Why is it an issue if he goes out and doesnt come home?

Just make sure you get the same next weekend.

AcrossthePond55 · 13/05/2017 05:35

But he's an ex. What he does isn't your business anymore. If he wants to stay out all night and shag half the town that's his prerogative. As it is yours.

I think you and he need to either stick with the schedule you had previously or sit down and figure a new one that divides the time each of you is the 'parent in charge'.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/05/2017 06:05

I don't agree with getting pissed out of your face in front of your kids. However you are staying in his home. This is normally your weekend. The frustration you are talking about is the unfinished business in your relationship. Normally you wouldn't be there so you should be continuing as though you weren't. Ds is definitely your responsibility today. Once your ex is no longer hungover, I would be having a chat with the amount of alcohol he consumes around your son. By the sound of it, that should wait till Sunday. No other conversation necessary. He is your ex. And you know why you're no longer together.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/05/2017 06:30

Work out a proper schedule while you are there. You've fallen into old patterns because that's familiar. Work out whose day is whose and stick to it.

EezerGoode · 13/05/2017 06:33

No I wouldn't do that...how old are the dc...if babies,absolutely no.if age 6 up.possibly if they can fend for themselves,but no it's not anything I would do .sorry..hope you get some peace today x

VimFuego101 · 13/05/2017 12:08

I think you're assuming that while you are living with him, you'll fall into a regular co-parenting agreement as if you were still a couple. He thinks otherwise and assumes you'll maintain the regular schedule.

steff13 · 13/05/2017 15:19

I did read the whole thread. If it's time that you would normally have the kid, I think it's fair enough for him to expect you to be responsible. If he's expecting you to take responsibility when it should be his time with the kid, that's not fair and I'd address it. As I said, stick to the schedule.

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 16:30

Regardless the mans a father.
Let's look at this like the boot is on the other foot.

Dad moves out with kids.
Dad and kids comeback to live with Mum.
Mum fucks off for the night to get pissed and act like a teenager.
Doesn't come home all night and is with a man.

MN women would probably label her a bad Mum, a slag and all sorts.

Not okay because he's a father and he should grow up and stop pissing about and start acting like a grown up.

HolidayArmidillo · 13/05/2017 16:37

Or he could ask you to move out and still have HIS weekend to himself. You are no longer together so you cannot expect him to behave like you are.

And if it was the other way around I'm sure everyone on MN would be quick enough to say that if it was the mother's scheduled time off then she is entitled to make any plans that she wants.

LedaP · 13/05/2017 16:46

anon i dont think they would. They would say she is entitled to a night out and unless she had arranged to be at home, its up to her.

Especially since its not her weekend.

Besides which how do you know he is with a woman?

QuiteLikely5 · 13/05/2017 16:51

You've been too slow!

On my free days that had been pre-agreed I would be out the door like a shot!

I would not be the doormat and for the first time ever would be giving him a taste of the future as a single parent (presumably something you felt like during your marriage)

steff13 · 13/05/2017 17:30

MN women would probably label her a bad Mum, a slag and all sorts.

I wouldn't. As I said, how you choose to spend what is supposed to be your kid-free time is up to you.

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