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Shouting

(11 Posts)
JoshLymanJr Fri 12-May-17 21:46:25

Lately I feel I've been shouting at DCs, particularly our eldest, far too much. They are at the age where they are fighting over toys and games (eldest is at school, youngest is preschool) and answering back, and I keep losing my temper and shouting for things which I later think were utterly trivial (like spilling a glass of milk or fighting over a toy). Work has been very demanding and I feel constantly tired, but I'm worried that this will affect their behaviour and how they see me.

They aren't badly behaved as a rule, and are lovely, eccentric little folk, but I just keep losing the plot when they act up. I apologise to them for shouting but don't know if that has any effect.

Any advice?

Imaginosity Fri 12-May-17 22:02:54

No advice I'm afraid but I'm in the exact same boat. My children are usually lovely but can be very hard work - fighting, cheeky etc. I find every evening at homework time I start getting shouty and I'm ashamed of myself. I keep saying this day I won't do it - but then I lose my temper. I do apologise to my children but I fear I'll make them anxious or have bad memories. My eldest tells me I'm grumpy and shouldn't shout. I never imagined I'd be this type of parent.

Haggisfish Fri 12-May-17 22:05:15

I imagine my children shouting at me about the same issue. How would I feel? Will I remember the issue a year from now? If not, is it worth the trauma?

highinthesky Fri 12-May-17 22:05:19

You lead your children's behaviour by example.

That's all I'm saying.

catcatcatcat Fri 12-May-17 22:09:54

Do you ever get a break? Whether it's an evening/few hours/whole day or night? I basically find that the most useful thing when I recognise I'm falling into this pattern.

JoshLymanJr Fri 12-May-17 22:12:01

I find every evening at homework time I start getting shouty and I'm ashamed of myself. I keep saying this day I won't do it - but then I lose my temper. I do apologise to my children but I fear I'll make them anxious or have bad memories.

That's exactly - and I mean exactly - how I feel. I feel like I'm totally failing them by not keeping a rein on myself.

JoshLymanJr Fri 12-May-17 22:16:34

Do you ever get a break?

Usually about an hour or so each night, between them going to bed/actually falling asleep, getting the house tidied and then having to think about bed myself. Don't get out very much, other than work.

Imaginosity Fri 12-May-17 22:19:00

I think I need anti- depressants to deal with low mood and the fact that I'm very irritable. I've benefited from them in the past but there's a reason why u can't take them just now.

I sometimes look at friends who seem so chilled out and calm with their children - I wonder why my family seems different - I think my children can be more demanding than others and I am more prone to stress than others - so not a good combination.

I remember my dad shouting at me and it feels like history repeating itself.

catcatcatcat Fri 12-May-17 22:19:52

I know it's easier said than done, I was a single parent for some years & now have not much money & a small clingy child, but could you get more of a break? Is there anyone to look after your DC for even a small amount of time?

Sorry if this is impossible, I totally get that, I just know what helps me at times.

JoshLymanJr Fri 12-May-17 22:30:47

but could you get more of a break?

Not really, we're a little bit isolated. They're not badly behaved at all, they're just lively and close in age, so are 'rivals' at times. I don't want to make them anxious or scared of me.

DarylDixonsJockstrap Fri 12-May-17 23:13:59

Don't be too hard on yourself OP. We are all human beings and all lose our rag sometimes...and let's face it, the little blighters certainly know how to press our buttons don't they?! grin i always feel wretched after I've shouted at DS, especially when it was over something quite trivial but it's not going to irreplicably damage him is it. Be kind to yourself xx

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