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AIBU?

Over a happy birthday message

47 replies

Summerisdone · 12/05/2017 17:13

Today is ex's birthday. He sent me a passive aggressive text this morning at 9am because I hadn't called him for DS to wish him a happy birthday.
I text back an hr later that I had been in work since 8.30 which means me having to leave the house at 7.30, this morning I overslept and didn't wake until 7.10; this left me with 20 minutes to get myself and my 2 year old ready and see to the dog, hence the reason why I hadn't called ex but I was going to text him as soon as I got five mins in work to let him know I'll get DS to wish him a happy birthday this evening.

He responded with a text how I'm a spiteful selfish bitch and at the very least it would have been thoughtful of me to send a text for him to wake up to. He also said he doesn't even want a call tonight now as he'll be seeing son in the morning anyway so pointless calling at 6 in the evening.

So WIBU I'm not texting him given the circumstances, and if so was it so unreasonable that it warranted such angry texts from him?

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Squirmy65ghyg · 12/05/2017 17:16

Tell him to FUCK OFF.

Was he a controlling abusive git? He still is.

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SmhShakingMyHead · 12/05/2017 17:16

Hard to say without knowing the bigger picture really.

Based solely on your post then it's understandable why you didn't have time.

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MatildaTheCat · 12/05/2017 17:16

Ignore, he's an idiot.

Or text back saying, 'OK, sounds like you are having a lovely day anyway.'

Any particular reason he's an ex? Grin

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kittybiscuits · 12/05/2017 17:18

You should have ignored him, but since you didn't it's time to tell him that he should stick to email contact from now on and that he continues to be abusive you will bock him and report him for harassment. Congratulations on getting rid of him.

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kittybiscuits · 12/05/2017 17:19

*block

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Janey50 · 12/05/2017 17:20

Sounds like he's your ex for a good reason.....

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Summerisdone · 12/05/2017 17:21

@Squirmy65ghyg yes he really wasn't a nice person for the 18 months we were together and has been quite awful to deal with for the first 18 months we split up, but he's been OK in general for the past few months, really seemed to have grown up and not get tetchy and angry over everything.

I really was in a rush this morning so chose not to text till I was in work and would have time, but even so the text would have been from me and not DS as he's only 2 so surely if I couldn't call him until later tonight to speak with DS then it really wasn't that vital he had a text before he woke up.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/05/2017 17:21

He needs to get over himself. His texts are proving the fact that some people just get older, they never grow up!

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Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 12/05/2017 17:21

Tell him you will have serious words with your 2 year old for not remembering to text him first thing Wink

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TheNaze73 · 12/05/2017 17:22

He sounds like a high maintenance prick

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AlternativeTentacle · 12/05/2017 17:22

'Ok Thanks for the info'.

Wanker. It really is all about him isn't it?

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RoseAndRose · 12/05/2017 17:24

How old is DS?

And no you don't have to justify your morning timings to him. With that benefit of that lovely thing, hindsight, it would be better to restrict a response to a piece of intrusive nastiness like this "Thank you for calling. DS is planning to ring this evening'. Then just let him rant. And keep repeating 'DS is planning to call this evening'

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MirandaWest · 12/05/2017 17:24

XH and I have been split up for 6 years and DS and DD have never phoned him in the morning to say happy birthday (unless they were with him then anyway) and he doesn't find that a problem. Your ex is an arse.

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Mrskeats · 12/05/2017 17:24

I would be blocking him and forcing him to use email
What an idiot

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AnathemaPulsifer · 12/05/2017 17:24

Your DS is TWO! It's your attention your ex wants, not his son's.

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AnathemaPulsifer · 12/05/2017 17:25

What is a two year old going to say on a birthday call that isn't prompted by one of the adults?

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Summerisdone · 12/05/2017 17:31

I'm so glad it's really not just me.
When he was like this all the time I knew he WBU with his behaviour and actions, but because he's been more pleasant these past few months I really wasn't sure if I was just automatically thinking he was being an arse again and really it was me that was being out of order.

When he gets like this I limit contact with him and stop replying except to confirm times for pickup and drop off of DS, this way he ends up in an argument with himself and becomes bored of sending anymore after the first 3-4 have been ignored.

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MinorRSole · 12/05/2017 17:34

Why would you text an ex? He's being weird and I agree with a pp, this is about your attention.

I'm a belligerent sod so would have said I forgot even if I hadn't. Your child is 2, he won't be saying happy birthday to anyone unprompted!

Your ex is an idiot

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 12/05/2017 17:40

No wonder he's an ex he's a childish prick makes you wonder which ones 2 years old your DS or your ex. Ignore his text messages he'll soon get bored when he realises that he's not getting a response.

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AnnaThursday · 12/05/2017 17:48

@MatildaTheCat Grin Grin

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TheHodgeoftheHedge · 12/05/2017 17:52

He's your ex. Why on earth would you text him happy birthday at all, let alone first thing in the morning.

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Jupitar · 12/05/2017 17:59

He sounds perfectly reasonable compared to my ex, who because I hadn't called him and got the kids to wish him happy birthday before they went to school he cancelled the day out the following day and refused to see them.
Expect more of the same for years to come 🙄
Mine are now teenagers so I don't have to speak to him at all....ever 👍🏻

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Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 12/05/2017 18:00

Happy birthday you dick head.
Hopefully it will be your last.
Should cover it.

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Jupitar · 12/05/2017 18:03

Happy birthday you dick head.
Hopefully it will be your last.
Should cover it.

😂😂 perfect

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froyotogo · 12/05/2017 18:06

Never explain yourself to him again. His child can wish him whatevers on their visit days.

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