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To not want three or more people stepping into my house?

(218 Posts)
GrumpyPotato Fri 12-May-17 03:44:03

My family have been pestering me for ages trying to get me to schedule a dinner party at my place.

My problem though, is that I feel like their presence will "ruin" my house. Currently, I can honestly say that this place is as perfect as a house can be. Everything is spotless and in the "default" position as placed by my interior designer, there are no scratch marks on glasses or metal surfaces, all my kitchenware are nicely polished, books that have crumpled pages have all been thrown away etc.

I can handle a single visitor at any one time due to ease of monitoring purposes. But a whole group? No way.

AIBU to suggest we host it somewhere else instead? A nice restaurant perhaps?

ProudConservative Fri 12-May-17 03:47:47

Tell them the truth and they probably won't want to come and see you anyway.

2 birds, one stone.

I'm not sure if this is for real or just looking for a little attention or one of those really hilarious ones where you're pretending to be the other person. If the latter, take the hint. They don't like you.

Ginger782 Fri 12-May-17 03:52:52


steff13 Fri 12-May-17 04:05:53

So, you're just going to be Howard Hughes-ing it for the rest of your life so your house doesn't get ruined?

Imbroglio Fri 12-May-17 04:18:51

If you are uncomfortable having people round then I think it's fine to offer to take people out.

It's your home so you get to decide who comes in.

SarahOoo Fri 12-May-17 04:20:31

"Monitoring purposes" Hahahaha. Hilarious!

So don't host and go to a restaurant...honestly the rubbish stuff people post on here sometimes!

DesignedForLife Fri 12-May-17 04:29:09

I take it you don have young kids then! grin

KoalaDownUnder Fri 12-May-17 04:30:22


Four people stepped into my house once, and I had to sell up and start again.

Fucking raging, I was.

fuffapster Fri 12-May-17 04:39:57


Imbroglio Fri 12-May-17 04:45:01

[Perhaps the OP has anxiety or OCD?]

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 12-May-17 04:49:23

It is lovely you have your house how you want it. However it is such a shame you can't really use it without monitoring everyone. Perhaps you should consider getting some therapy?

AnxiousMunchkin Fri 12-May-17 04:56:44

I have OCD and completely identify with this post - I hate people coming into my space as then I'll have to spend so much time afterwards making it 'just right' again,

NerrSnerr Fri 12-May-17 05:00:32

I think YANBU, it's your house and your choice. Please don't invite me to your house though because I'd be the twat who knocks things over etc. It's always the spotless houses!

AnxiousMunchkin Fri 12-May-17 05:03:24

I would have to be warm and welcoming during the visit but inside I would be screaming, my anxiety levels would be through the roof whilst I was projecting a veneer of calm. It would seriously trigger me and I would take time to recover. If I am on a bad day even the thought might send me into a panic.

I don't know if the OP is genuine or a piss-take reverse (because yes the language is a bit odd - but then I think I say things like that sometimes, not realising to everyone else it's odd, because to me it's perfectly logical and sensible).

So either OP, YANBU but may be affected by obsessive traits, if anxiety type symptoms bother you and you want to change them then talking to your GP or IAPT is a good start. Or, if this is a piss-take reverse, YABU to make fun of your relative and have no right to demean to enter their home, much less force them to host a dinner party if they are not comfortable to do so.

Blossom789 Fri 12-May-17 05:03:51

Whilst having people over is unsettling for you it sounds like you have a beautiful house to host a dinner party. Could you start with a small number rather than a big crowd?

TheDowagerCuntess Fri 12-May-17 05:17:25

Is this a TAAT, or are you playing out a character you've recently seen or read about, and if you have to be 'in the know' to really enjoy the ensuing laffs...?

MariafromMalmo Fri 12-May-17 05:33:49

why don't you tell them the truth?

PollytheDolly Fri 12-May-17 05:50:39

I need to come and see your house.

HoldBackTheRain Fri 12-May-17 06:18:08

I used to feel like this when my DS was very small - he was premature, lots of health problems, 3 months in hospital and then in and out for 18 months, and up until he went to nursery I couldn't bear people coming over - all I could think of was germs, germs, germs. If a friend came over with their baby I ued to steralize everything the other baby had touched after they had gone because I was so terrified he was going to pick something else up and be back in hospital.

It was a horrible, horrible time but luckily it passed and now I can even handle people coming over and keeping their shoes on (just!)

So although my reasons are different to yours OP, I do understand how you feel and think you should suggest going to a restaurant because you will feel completely stressed out the whole time if you entertain at home. But - I would have a think about what you can do to overcome this because wouldn't you want to feel like you wanted people to come over?

GoatsFeet Fri 12-May-17 07:51:52

Is this real?

If so, you need serious help OP.

JustMumNowNotMe Fri 12-May-17 07:54:18

Did you recently get married in Maui OP?

NoSherryForMe Fri 12-May-17 08:03:34

Why not host a Skype dinner party? Order your "guests" a takeaway, dial them in to your gracious dining room, and voila! All the chat about schools and house prices, none of the contamination!

AnxiousMunchkin Fri 12-May-17 08:32:20

Is this real?

If so, you need serious help OP.

Only if OP is distressed by her thoughts/feelings/behaviour or becoming a danger to themselves/others by their beliefs/actions.... otherwise other people just need to respect OP's wishes and stop forcing themselves on them.

GrumpyPotato Fri 12-May-17 08:40:00

I’m really sorry if that all sounds like I was taking the piss - I’m not. I’ve always been very particular about having things be as close to “perfect” as possible, and now that I’ve finally got the place to myself again, being in my house is the closest I’ve come to having that. It’s somewhat similar to purchasing a new phone, I guess. Don’t you want it to be in that fresh-out-of-the-box condition forever? How is this any different?

Probably outing myself to some posters here but I’m not a people’s person in the sense that only about a handful of people (family included) have ever made it past the acquaintance stage. This doesn’t bother me 90% of the time because my primary focus in life right now is work. What does bother me though, is how it feels impossible getting other people to be on the “same page” as me. And yes, in this instance it’s family members.

Again, I apologise if this came off (or still comes off) as trolling. That's really not my intention.

LaLegue Fri 12-May-17 08:42:46

SIL, is that you?

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