A bit of backstory to this. Our mum died when we were kids. Sis doesn't remember much about her but idolises her. I remember more and I miss her and I love her but I remember her for who she was which was a troubled rather odd woman.
So while I was pregnant DP and I had a list of potential names for DD depending on which name suited her once she was born. We did consider my mum's name at this time but I was unsure about it.
DD was born a couple of weeks ago I had an emergency c-section and some complications so we were in hospital till 2 days ago. We decided not to use my mum's name. I don't think DD suits it anyway but mostly I want DD to have a name which isn't associated with my mum and give her, her own identity.
My sister has visited twice since DD was born. Once in the hospital with my dad, step mum and brother and once in hospital with my step mum and aunt. Both times she has been very uninterested but I put that down to her being a teenager who isn't really into babies.
Anyway my dad, step mum and siblings visited today. My sister was again uninterested. I asked her to pass me something and she shouted me to get it myself. This made DD cry. My sister said for God sake shut it up and stormed out.
I was a bit upset but the rest of us carried on like nothing had happened. The rest of the family left and then my sister came back saying she wanted an honest chat.
She told me she hates DDs name and is upset that it isn't our mum's name. I said I didn't think it suited DD but I was sorry she was upset. I also mentioned that at least this way it leaves my mum's name for my sister to use if she has kids.
My sister said that it wasn't good enough she was really upset about it. She doesn't want to use mum's name and she probably won't have kids anyway so she wanted me to carry on the name. She then told me that I had really hurt her and we couldn't recover from this. Then DD wanted feeding and she sighed and said she was leaving.
She has agreed to come and visit tomorrow to talk about it more.
I don't know how to explain it to her. I don't want DD to have mum's name but sister is so upset and I feel so guilty because I have upset her.
So AIBU to not use mum's name even though it upsets my sister so much. I don't know how to explain to her about it.
AIBU?
Sister upset my DD isn't named after our mum
Confuseddragonfish · 11/05/2017 22:11
She's behaving like a brat ! Congratulations on DD , I hope your sisters behaviour doesn't affect those early days enjoyment after such a worrying start 
She is behaving like a spoiled little brat 
She said shut "it" up? That's her niece FFS How DARE she say that?
Sorry but I'm shocked at how nasty she's been about this
We went through this too, but ended up having boys, so the decision was taken out of our hands. In a way, I'm glad. There are plenty of other ways to mark a loved ones passing and the impact they had on your life, but giving a very tiny new little person the burden/legacy to live up to/ something to always explain, is a big ask.
It's very true what they say, "your past is a lesson, not a life sentence".
for your new wee baby :)
Congratulations on the birth of your DD and totally what MotherVulva said.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
She doesn't want to use the name herself, yet you are unreasonable for not wanting to use it?! 
Call your baby whatever you want. Your DSis will grow up and understand in time.
I hesitate to suggest it, but would your mum's name work as a middle name? Would that help reduce her upset?
for both the loss of your mum and the birth of your baby.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.