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Wibu to change ds kilt for wedding?

(31 Posts)
mayaknew Thu 11-May-17 16:34:01

Bil getting married later in the year. Mil is paying for the kilts and DH is an usher so gets a his kilt with the rest of the wedding party. Mil asked me last week if I would like ds in a kilt she will pay for it too. I hadn't thought about getting him a kilt but was delighted with the offer and accepted. So then she said oh that's great he can just get the same one as the wedding party. As he's not in the wedding party this made me uncomfortable I didn't was sil to think I was forcing him in to the wedding party so I said to mil if it's OK with her I'd like to pick him a different one.

So yesterday DH and ds went to get measured for the kilts. There wasn't one picked for ds so DH phoned mil and asked if he should have one here. She said just to get him the same one as the wedding party. So he has now been ordered a kilt with the wedding party as if he is in it and he's not 😳

Would I look like a dafty if I went in myself and changed the style of kilt. I'm going to feel embarrassed on the day when he shows up in the same gear as the wedding party, but at the same time I feel silly changing it. But I think I want to change it.

Wwyd?

offblackeggshell Thu 11-May-17 16:35:14

I'd speak to your BiL.

Rescuepuppydaft2 Thu 11-May-17 16:40:06

I would have him matching his Daddy and Uncle! If that's the wedding parties kilt then so be it. I wonder if your BIL wants your nephew to be page boy but hasn't got round to asking. Thus why MIL has said to buy the same?

TrampyCat Thu 11-May-17 16:40:47

I agree ring bil or his wife to and explain what happened and say your going to buy him a different one but just thought you'd mentioned it in case Mil mentioned anything etc. They might even be OK about it, I would be of it was me but that's up to them to offer.

Arkhamasylum Thu 11-May-17 16:40:48

Can I ask what tartan it is? If it's something like Black Watch, I don't think it matters. If it's a family tartan I might change it, if you felt more comfortable. Having said that, why shouldn't he wear the same tartan as his dad and his uncle?

It's just clothes though, remember. I bet your son will look damn handsome in his outfit. grin

Teabagtits Thu 11-May-17 16:43:45

It really depends on what the tartan is. Traditionally you wear the tartan associated with your clan name, so if he shares a family name with the wedding party he'd wear the family tartan. If his name is different to the wedding party he'd represent his own clan with his own tartan - or wear one of the abominable modern tartans aligned with football/rugby etc.

FairfaxAikman Thu 11-May-17 16:44:03

I'd speak to the bride and tell her the same one was ordered in error, if it matters to her then you'll get it changed.

I hate this new trend of having all the kilts in the wedding party match. Its supposed to be that you wear your own tartan.
My DH and best man matched, but only because they are related (BM was DH's brother). My DF, DGF and uncle all wore their own and the guests wore theirs.

countingdown Thu 11-May-17 16:46:05

I think it's normal for sons to wear the same tartan as their dad. I honestly wouldn't worry about it, just enjoy the gorgeous-ness of your boy in a kilt!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Thu 11-May-17 16:46:08

But if it's a family tartan, then your son is 'in' the family so should wear the same tartan as everyone else, surely?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Thu 11-May-17 16:47:03

Teabag my dad and brother turned up at my wedding wearing a football tarta blush it wasn't my fault, honest!

Teabagtits Thu 11-May-17 16:49:08

Oh lonny the shame wink -

originalbiglymavis Thu 11-May-17 16:49:37

I was going to ask who tartan it was too. If it's a family one then it makes sense, or the usual black watch or Stuart.

It will look braw anyway! I couldn't crowbar DS into a kilt. The closest I got was tartan trews (at least it was the family tartan) and a ghillie shirt.

EC22 Thu 11-May-17 16:50:17

He should be in the same kilt as his dad and uncle. That's pretty obvious!

originalbiglymavis Thu 11-May-17 16:51:13

But I got to wear tartan tights under my wedding dress!

EC22 Thu 11-May-17 16:51:26

I'm a fan of all the men in the same tartan, it looks much better imo.

originalbiglymavis Thu 11-May-17 16:52:46

Nooooo it makes them look like a very very close family iykwim!

Lochan Thu 11-May-17 16:55:20

I much prefer all different kilts personally.

My DS has never matched his Dad. DH has his own kilt and we obviously hire one for DS so he just picks whatever he likes at the time.

Why not change it for a different but complimentary tartan? There are loads of different blue or green tartans for example.

Cornishware Thu 11-May-17 17:08:22

Men with the same surname would usually wear the same kilt, if it is a generic one then again they can all wear the same one. My answer would depend on what tartan they are wearing.

VerySadInside Thu 11-May-17 17:10:32

I would definitely change it unless it is the family tartan and lots of other random uncles p/cousins will be in it too.

If I were sil it'd feel like you were pushing him to be a page boy and everyone will assume he is one. photographer will add him to the shots etc. She will feel uncomfortable pointing out the mistake and then have to just go along with it.

Please change.

SapphireStrange Thu 11-May-17 17:10:54

Traditionally you wear the tartan associated with your clan name, so if he shares a family name with the wedding party he'd wear the family tartan. If his name is different to the wedding party he'd represent his own clan with his own tartan

This exactly. Stops all arguments/worries about matching the wedding party; if he does he does, if he doesn't he doesn't.

mayaknew Thu 11-May-17 17:13:11

Honestly.. I jva enough idea what tartan it is😳 I do know it's not a family one though.

mayaknew Thu 11-May-17 17:14:04

Very sad exactly what you said is exactly what I'm anticipating.

FrancisCrawford Thu 11-May-17 17:18:25

I've known brides insist all immediate make relatives wear the same tartan. So brides father, grooms father etc all in the same tartan

Very strange

And purely for the photos, of course. It kind of negates what tartans are all about

I much prefer wearing your family tartan.

Either way, just ask. It sounds like you are just hiring them so it won't be an issue to change

Seeingadistance Thu 11-May-17 17:21:07

I'd change it, but have a word with the MIL first as she's the one paying for it.

FeedTheSharkAndItWillBite Thu 11-May-17 17:29:50

Well, I'm not Scottish... So this is just what seems logical to me personally. I think it mainly depends on what the bride wants and on whether you want DS to wear a specific tartan (your family tartan, as already meantioned above).

(But I do think you should speak to MIL in advance, seeing as she's the one paying.)

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