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Ok I know I'm about 2 years behind the rest of the world - but just watched 50 shades of Grey - Seriously WTF!

(44 Posts)
Dickydory Tue 09-May-17 21:02:11

I kinda ignored the huge hysteria around the books and first film. Tonight DH went out and browsing Netflix I thought what the hell. I was expecting to see a slightly raunchy film, but romantic etc given the hype. What I saw was one of the worst portrayals of domestic abuse, controlling and concerning behaviour wrapped up in money to apparently make it exciting, acceptable and attractive. How was any of this ever turned into something exciting, enticing and making women flock to the cinemas and dream of Mr Grey. I'm no staunch feminist but christ if that was my daughter I'd be telling her to run and if it was my son he'd been having extremely stern words and counselling! How did this become a romance? How did it become a favourite for 'charity screenings' - sorry you've probably all done this before but I literally just sat here gobsmacked!!!

McTufty Tue 09-May-17 21:03:25

I agree. S&M is all well and good if both parties are into it, but reading the book made me very uncomfortable as Ana seemed not to want to do it and only to do it to keep him happy - especially the part at the end where he really actually hurt her.

ThymeLord Tue 09-May-17 21:05:30

Agree. It's awful. A mutual enjoyment of S&M is not reflected in a book/film which has him itching to slap her for "defying" him. That's just a controlling abuser.

Dickydory Tue 09-May-17 21:06:05

I agree McTuffy each to their own sex wise, but the whole buying her car, turning up in her apartment, almost punching her friend, etc, etc, etc and then end - this is not romantic or acceptable on any level!!!

Polly99 Tue 09-May-17 21:09:20

Oh yes. I read the books in growing disbelief, particularly at the bit where he spanks her and she is really hurt and then he sulks until she apologises to him. Have avoided the films as I can't imagine they are any better.

LockedOutOfMN Tue 09-May-17 21:10:35

Agree with everything that's been said. Jamie Dornan is also not hot with a US accent.

Fanciedachange17 Tue 09-May-17 21:25:56

Avoided all of it so far. Why would I want to read about or watch an abusive relationship? Mills and Boon gone bad by all accounts.

Grimbles Tue 09-May-17 21:28:13

I've heard that the books are awful. AIBU to want to read them because of this?

PNGirl Tue 09-May-17 21:30:28

The books go completely batshit after the first one. Stalkers, kidnappings, helicopter crashes, etc.

In the first book (not seen the film) Anna keeps forgetting to eat and forgetting to take the pill. She is useless.

CoconutOilWink Tue 09-May-17 21:31:18

Possibly more worrying is that she ripped off the popular teen series Twilight. You find similar undertones in those books...

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn Tue 09-May-17 21:59:00

YANBU. I've read the books, not seen the films. I felt very uncomfortable with the way she kept asking him for space and he just wouldn't give it and was totally controlling and she would just give in, probably to shut him up. I don't know anyone in RL who shares this view. They all say how it's a love story and how he changed in the end.

Dickydory Tue 09-May-17 22:17:45

I feel at least saved from the books I suppose!!

Dickydory Tue 09-May-17 22:18:40

It is however unbelievably worrying as a society we romanticise this behaviour!!

nocoolnamesleft Tue 09-May-17 22:22:43

He's a victim of childhood physical, emotional, and ultimately sexual, abuse who grows up to become a domestic abuser of a vulnerable woman. Dead romantic.

Orlandointhewilderness Tue 09-May-17 22:25:09

Utterly awful. When I went to see it (a friend dragged me!!) I only stuck it out as I had paid for the ticked! When it finished the woman behind us stood up and told the entire cinema 'Thank f*ck for that! What a pile of cr*p!'

elmo1980 Tue 09-May-17 22:31:48

It's awful. Not only for the abusiveness of the relationship but the acting, crap sex and flimsy storyline.

That said I laughed out loud at the bit where he takes her pants off and gives them a right ol' sniff!

FallenPetalsSummerDew Tue 09-May-17 23:01:18

Dreadful, repetitive, poorly written tripe! More of a story to the second and third books but as previously mentioned totally unrealistic. Agree that they portray an abusive relationship rather than a healthy, albeit experimental sexual relationship.

HildaOg Tue 09-May-17 23:02:30

I got through about five pages of the book and put it down in disgust at the appalling writing. It was a book for women who don't read and have no (or a tediously boring) sex life.

I wouldn't expect the movie to be any better.

TooStressyForMyOwnGood Tue 09-May-17 23:04:55

I agree. I read the books but haven't seen the film. Appalling and glorifies abusive relationships IMO.

PollyBanana Tue 09-May-17 23:18:30

It's all dressed up in designer gear and stunning locations but take away his billions and Christian Grey is just an abusive bully in a Primark T shirt

daffodil10 Tue 09-May-17 23:27:37

I went to see the first one with a group of clever modern women and they all thought it was so romantic. They still laugh about how my inner feminist came out and I hated it !🤔

Ravenblack Tue 09-May-17 23:28:40

Ha ha, well done on wasting 2 hours of your life that you will never get back OP. grin Terrible book, terrible film. Awful acting, awful script.

Why they made sequels is beyond me! confused

TaliZorahVasNormandy Tue 09-May-17 23:32:41

If that shit happened to my daughter, I'd stick my foot up his arse and see how he liked that.

Makes me fear of the future generation of women when that utter tripe is considered romantic and the kind of relationship to aspire to.

SleepOhHowIMissYou Tue 09-May-17 23:59:35

Recommended first book by friend. Couldn't finish it as urge to edit and correct the prose was overwhelming. It started life as Twilight Lemon Fan Fiction (which is why you'll find Bella, Edward and Jacob in there with names changed). Salman Rushdie declared it to be the most badly written book ever published.

Haven't seen film, I'm sure it's every bit as apalling as the book though.

I have seen 'Secretary' though (James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal) about a S&M relationship between a self-harming secretary and her boss, Mr Grey (coincidence?). Excellent film. Would thoroughly recommend, Gyllenhaal is breathtaking.

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Wed 10-May-17 00:10:18

I foolishly watched it with my DP, having survived an abusive relationship in my past. I ended up sobbing my heart out and we had a massive row! Not particularly moved by the film or characters but by the thought that some people found it raunchy/romantic etc and yet I recognised it as abuse. Shame as I like Jamie Dornan but this film ruined him.

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