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AIBU to cancel my party?

(9 Posts)
JustKeepDancing Mon 08-May-17 19:51:44

After a really bad couple of years health and personal life wise, I've decided to move back "home" to be nearer my sisters and their kids. I've been where I currently am for 12 years, and know quite a lot of people here from university, work, hobbies etc, but have found myself feeling lonely now that I'm single and mid-30s, so I thought it'd be time to do something about it. I'd spoken to a couple of close friends about how I was feeling, with mixed reactions, and over the last 6 months found a new job and a new house etc.

Anyway, I've been telling people about my plans both face to face and via messages etc and quite a few have said it'd be nice to see me before I move etc. They've asked if I am going to have a leaving do, and I thought seeing as it'd be a good way to see people I'd arrange to reserve an area of a nice pub in town, gave people a month's notice etc.

The party is next Friday and I'm dreading it. Half of the people invited haven't RSVPd so I don't know who is coming. A lot of my friends are random people I've picked up along the way so I feel I'll have to "host" doing introductions etc. And mostly, I'm really upset because the people I really wanted to be there can't come. I have probably 6 good friends I hope to keep in touch with, and lots of social acquaintances, and only one of the 6 is coming. One is a single parent and can't afford a babysitter, one is on holiday, one has family visiting, one is hosting a dinner party that night, and one hasn't RSVPd.

I'm really regretting trying to arrange an event (I've never really had a birthday party or anything so thought it might be nice to do one last hurrah) and it's making me feel even more lonely and sad about moving to be honest. WIBU to make excuses and cancel the whole thing? I could do with some extra opinions please! sad

JustKeepDancing Mon 08-May-17 19:52:30

Sorry that's quite long, didn't want to drip feed!

user1490734428 Mon 08-May-17 19:55:40

Absolutely not - I had a meltdown this time last year and couldn't face the 20-people-house=party=and-club-extravaganza I'd organised. I didn't feel like explaining to everyone that I'd had a breakdown and couldn't face conversation.

I cancelled the FB event. 5 people asked why and I told them.

Your party, your decision! smile

KarlosKKrinkelbeim Mon 08-May-17 19:58:47

I think what you've planned is pretty low key - not a big party, just turn up for a chat in the pub. If you've already got a few rsvp's why not - what's the worst that can happen? Even if only a handful turn up so what - you're moving on and at least you'll know who's worth keeping in touch with!

Mrsmadevans Mon 08-May-17 20:02:07

Cancel it sweetie. I refused to have a retirement do after someone left and 2 ppl went to her do . This was out of about 40 all who said they would go.It wasn't even a night out it was afternoon tea!!!

PeaFaceMcgee Mon 08-May-17 20:04:42

I'd cancel. I sort of did the same and pretended to suddenly be Ill when only 2 people showed and it was super embarrassing to realise that most people didn't really give a shiny shit about me (many yrs ago)

LoudestRoar Mon 08-May-17 20:21:06

Cancel and maybe spend the evening round your friend who couldn't get a baby sitter?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 08-May-17 20:24:40

I wouldn't cancel. I'd appreciate the people who came. And regardless, treat it as the underlining event of my moving on to the next chapter of my life. The people who come will appreciate it.,

JustKeepDancing Mon 08-May-17 20:46:42

Interesting thoughts, thanks! It's the fear of it being 2 or 3 people which I think is really making me nervous, but there is something very true about it marking end of an era - and about knowing who friends really are!

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