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Sad DD - WWYD?

(9 Posts)
Iamthedogsmother Sun 07-May-17 21:13:24

I really don't know what to do. I'm worried about my DD.

She's 8 and she's really sad but I don't know why. She was bullied at her first school. It couldn't be sorted so I took her out and things were a bit better at the next school. Then DHs job moved so we moved about 120 miles away. The school she's at now is nice but very small, only about 8 in her year group, a couple of the other children have very over bearing personalities. She been there for 18 months now. I can see she's not happy but DD says everything is fine. A few weeks ago, another parent told me that their child had witnessed some quite rough behaviour towards DD by another child. I told the school. DD denied it. I've spoken to the teacher countless times but nothing has helped. I've. Considered moving school again, but she's adamant she doesn't want to and dh is against another move in school as it would be her fourth school. I was chatting to another parent last week and she commented that my DD always seems sad. I nearly burst into tears when she said this, I know this is true, it's not my imagination.

I am trying to do things with her - gymnastics, drama, karate, all aimed to boost her confidence but so far it's having no effect. She is always comparing herself unfavourably to peers - she's not pretty enough, clever enough etc. This is what she says, it is certainly not what I say, I always tell her she's brilliant. We spend time together, just me and her, girl time.

She seems very troubled by her peers, intimidated. When she was small, she was super confident. I don't know how to help her.

I have an older child with SEN who takes up a lot of my time but I try my best to give her attention too. I have no support network at all so I have no one to ask.

Creampastry Sun 07-May-17 21:15:23

If there is only 8 kids in the class you need to go back to school and bake them pay more attention to what is going on. Be forceful about them sorting it out.

pickleypockley Sun 07-May-17 21:17:13

Have you invited any of her class friends for tea?

cestlavielife Sun 07-May-17 21:18:14

You doing everythjng right but maybe tine to get some professional input? Go to gp ask about referral to camhs. Also Try siblings groups for siblings of children with disabilities. Find out from local authority what is available.

CaulkheadNorth Sun 07-May-17 21:19:13

What does she enjoy doing? Other there other adults around (outside of the family) who she is close to?

3littlebadgers Sun 07-May-17 21:21:25

Poor little mite. 8 is shard age for girls. We recently moved too and my Dd 7 but yr 3 keeps asking to go home, but it just isn't possible.

Just keep showering her with love and keep on at the school to help her. Maybe they could pair her up with a friend.

PippaFawcett Sun 07-May-17 23:18:32

3littlebadgers, us too. DS asked 'when can we go back to our real home?'

We did a big birthday party and invited the whole class and done countless playdates. But our DC have had very few reciprocated playdates back - please Mumsnetters, include the newbies in your parties/social plans, we would all be so grateful.

Have you tried Brownies, OP? My DC love all their extracurricular activities which helps and our Brownie pack is very sociable and does weekend trips which DD loves. Do you have other children? My DC have grown closer now we aren't doing constant parties every weekend which is what it was like before we moved.

madcatwoman61 Mon 08-May-17 00:59:45

My eldest Dd had no friends at our local primary - very small class and a clique of girls who excluded her - never asked to parties, never had anyone round to play. Not a bad school, the other 3 were very happy there, she just didn't fit in. At 9 we moved her to a school with much larger classes and she blossomed. I think it was easier to disappear in a big class and not stand out as the odd one. Is that a possibility for you?

TheCatOfAthenry Mon 08-May-17 02:00:02

The poor little thing! Are there any child friendly volunteer groups nearby? Great for self esteem and tend to attract nice people.

I'm a doctor with experience in child mental health. Some children really benefit from writing '3 nice things about me' every night and having a little worry box. If she's doing too many activities she could well find it overwhelming.

I obviously don't know your DD, so these suggestions may not apply or be suitable, but couldn't read and run!

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