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Family stress

(8 Posts)
talulahbelle Sun 30-Apr-17 21:32:28

I'll try and keep this short.

My DSis is living with my parents, has been since last year, while she buys a house.
She works shifts as a nurse in a MIU amongst other things.

My mum offered to have my DD for a sleepover as I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant. DDs first overnight away from home, a dress rehearsal for when I go into labour. Also my mum didn't fancy the idea of sleeping on our sofa.

Hooray! I thought. Not only a chance for me and DH to have a last childfree night together, but also a lot easier for me and my worries about DD to know her first night away won't be when we have her sibling.
Talking dates with my mum, I said not after a nursery day so DD isn't tired. We also have a long day out tomorrow and may be back late.
So, Sat/Sun/Tues nights all fine for me and my mum.

My "D"Sis has said no to these dates. Why? In case she has disturbed sleep before work, or in case she's woken up too early.
She wouldn't be expected to share a room, interact with or take any responsibility for DD - who sleeps through the night anyway. Although in a new place for the first time who knows.

My DM has backed down and agreed that these nights are therefore out. She has also said she'll come to mine if we need to head to hospital, which is fair enough.

So AIBU to feel unsupported? Or am I being overly self-centred?

FelixtheMouse Sun 30-Apr-17 21:40:59

Your "D"Sis is an entitled bitch.

user1488721675 Sun 30-Apr-17 21:42:39

YANBU but I don't think your sister is either, and your mum is caught in the middle.
Why don't you get your mum to come to yours to have her overnight and you book a nice hotel for you 2?

DaniHood Sun 30-Apr-17 21:43:02

Wow that is unbelivably shelfish of your "d" sis , YANBU at all.

I hope your parents ignore her thoughs on it !

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 30-Apr-17 21:43:31

Maybe suggest staying at dms yourself for a week with the new born to really wind her up?
Your dm needs some big girls pants.
Dsis doesn't get to dictate the arrangements in dms house!!

Sirzy Sun 30-Apr-17 21:46:15

But on the other hand it is her home! If you can "dictate" no nursery days due to tiredness then surely her asking for her work shifts to be taken into account when planning non essential sleepovers isn't that unfair really?

talulahbelle Sun 30-Apr-17 21:59:36

The no nursery days are really for DMs benefit, as toddler meltdowns are far far more likely when DD is tired. I know I'd be quite happy not to deal with DD on a Friday night at times. Obviously when I have the baby the day can't be guaranteed, but that's another matter.

Hotel idea is nice, but it's not really affordable right now, I'm only getting statutory mat pay, and DH is self employed so when the baby arrives wont be bringing anything in.

My mum historically gives in to my sister a lot more than I think necessary, but I've never gotten involved before, beyond listening to my mum complain and making sympathetic noises about DM not being to watch tv and having to be quiet when DSis is sleeping off a night shift.

Quickieat2 Sun 30-Apr-17 21:59:56

Maybe mum could stay at yours and you could go to a hotel for a night?

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