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To be upset?

(9 Posts)
Cmajmp Sun 30-Apr-17 21:21:45

I'll give a bit of a back story so that this all makes sense...

So I was just having casual encounters with a guy.. ended up getting pregnant. He kept saying he would be there for me and support me etc... he never turned up to scans or appointments and when I was giving birth he didn't come to the hospital, instead he went out to get drunk !

Since then, he saw her twice in the first week of her life and nothing since. It was all his choice. I tried to get him to see her but he didn't want too. I can't force him so I gave up and we have had no contact for the past 11 months.

I moved on with my life, met someone new. My daughter turned 1 yesterday! It was very lovely. My partners family are amazing and then all love her as if she was "theres".

However, I couldn't help but feel a little bit sad that her biological dad didn't even wish her a happy birthday.. is it unreasonable of me to think maybe he would of just sent a text or whatever?!

John4703 Sun 30-Apr-17 21:25:58

As a male I think your daughter will be far better off with your new partner who cares about you and her. forget the inconsiderate sperm donor who cares about no-one but himself

Bearfrills Sun 30-Apr-17 21:37:27

YANBU to feel a pang because it is upsetting when someone who should care about your child simply doesn't but it takes more than genetics to be a dad and from the sounds of it your DD is better off without him.

Wolfiefan Sun 30-Apr-17 21:38:34

It's a shame but he was enjoying the "casual encounters" and clearly not up for being a father.

EtonMessi Sun 30-Apr-17 21:41:20

Agree she's definitely better off without him!

You can be sad that she didn't get the father she deserved, but better nothing at all than the odd text IMO.

My friend has a daughter whose father has never been involved, every time I see that lovely little girl I think about how much he's missing out on. But it's his loss, not hers.

Fruitcorner123 Sun 30-Apr-17 21:50:46

As others have said its his loss. You sound like you are doing a great job and your daughter will be just fine but if course you feel a bit upset. i never understand who these awful people are who can walk away from their own babies like he has. She definitely doesn't need a role model like that in her life.

Cmajmp Sun 30-Apr-17 22:03:46

It is definitely his loss. My new partner loves her so much. I don't know I just find it a bit sad that he doesn't want to know his own daughter.

She does have amazing people around her now. My partner and his family are the nicest people you could possibly meet!

We have also just found out were expecting so I suppose my emotions are everywhere. When we found out we were having a baby, my partner said my daughter will always be "his first" which is so lovely!

I suppose it's a bit selfish of me but it's just never how I saw my life going. Obviously i wanted the marriage and happy families... not a one night stand to be a single parent and my daughter not to know her real father

EtonMessi Sun 30-Apr-17 22:25:10

Be careful there though- that's not a 'real' father smile

Cmajmp Sun 30-Apr-17 22:26:20

That's very true ! Bad wording. No he's not a real father. More like a sperm donor !

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